Personality Development and Public Relations

CHAPTER 1

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT

A new born baby is considered a tabula rasa, an empty sheet or an empty tablet. As he grows up he begins to fill up his sheet by gathering experiences to the place where he live. He begins to make his life and begins to mold his identity. In order to cope with anything outside the womb personality is the one of the major requirement.

Personality is the sum total of the qualities and characteristics of a person as shown in her manner of walking, dressing and her attitudes, interest and ways of reacting to other people. It refers to all the factors within the person that influence his characteristics, ways of behaving, thinking and feeling. It is your image on others. It is also typical pattern of thinking, feeling and behaviors that make a person unique.

ASPECTS OF AN INDIVIDUAL’S PERSONALITY

1.    Physical aspect – This includes the mode of dressing, manner of walking, posture, body build, health, complexion and facial expression.

2.    Intellectual/Mental aspect – refers to intellectual capacity. How person talks, the range of ideas he expresses, and the things he talks about, as well as his values and mental alertness give evidence of his mental capacity.

3.    Emotional aspect – A person’s emotional makeup is shown in his likes and dislikes, whether he is aggressive or docile, how he responds when things become difficult, how quickly he is given to anger, whether he can take a job or not. Emotional behavior is interrelated with others aspect as child’s growth. As he grows older, His emotions become differentiated.

4.    Social aspect – This is seen in how people conducts himself with other people and how well he observes the rules of etiquette that govern society. Social attitudes and behavior are affected by physiological conditions and changes, mental alertness, and the extent of emotional maturity.

Factors Affecting Social Development

      The social development of an individual is affected by several factors such as:

1.     Socio-economic status

            The higher the socio economic status, the higher is the cultural background of family members.

2.    Level of maturity

            The child will determine the level of assimilation he can do, given a social situation. A psychologists state, the higher the intelligence, the higher is the level of maturity of the individual.

3.    Family cultural background

            The family as the basic unit of society provides the laboratory for the socialization of the child. The style of life in the areas of socialization is a strong determinant for a child’s foundation as far as social development is concern.

5.    Value system – This includes a person’s attitudes, values, beliefs and philosophy in life. This aspect referred to us as CHARACTER. It shown in the way we judge whether our actions and actions of others are right or wrong.

6.    Spiritual aspect – is the consciousness of the higher values in life. Religions expresses spiritual value

COMPONENTS OF PERSONALITY

1.    HABITS – are actions so often repeated at regular intervals until they become fixed characteristics.

EX: going to church every Sunday, brushing one’s teeth after every meal etc…

2.    ATTITUDES – are certain ways of viewing things as ingrained, acquired, and developed through the years of exposure to man’s family, school, and community.

3.    INTEREST – is that natural inclination to focus one’s concern towards a specific area of work.

4.    VALUES - Are ways of upholding certain priorities in accordance with the hierarchy of needs by Abraham Maslow.

5.    PRINCIPLES - are guides to a person in making Judgement. The individual is consistent in his application of these principles which are in consonance with his norms of morality.

PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES

1.    Heredity – process of transmitting biological traits from parent to offspring through genes. It is also refers to the inherited characteristics of an individual, including traits such as height, eye color or blood type.

2.    Environment – This consist of our family, school, church social group and other group with whom we interact from the very beginning. Each group put pressure on us and we behave in certain ways as result of being these groups. Our behavior changes with each situation and with the people we are with.

3.    Experiences – These consist of everything we do or get in touch with. In everything that we are exposed whether physical, emotional or social experiences.

REASONS FOR STUDYING PERSONALITY

            Through our understanding of our own personalities of our fellowmen that will spell the differences between success and failure in our dealings with others. The study of this should result to our attempts to improve our own personality as well as to understand others so that we can adjust to them and have harmonious relations with them.

REASONS FOR DEVELOPING PERSONALITY

The development of our personality is our great responsibility. Some reasons why there is a need for developing personality are:

1.    Social acceptance – it is the third need in the Filipino hierarchy of needs. The desire to be treated in accordance with one’s status.

2.    Self-satisfaction – a happy person meets the bad temper and unkind dispositions of others with understanding and good humor.

3.    Self-confidence – elicits positive feelings which are necessary for mental health. We develop negative feelings like feelings of inferiority when we are aware that are personality is not as good as of others.

4.    To keep ourselves on the job – personality has a great deal to do with holding a job.

DEVELOPING ONE’S PERSONALITY

            Although heredity sets the limit of one’s development in personality, the environment provides the greater influence. The individual determines how he can maximize the development of his personality though the opportunities available to him in:

1.    Self awareness – Indicates what kind of person you are. Our nature should be openly accepted by us so that our baseline data is actual and realistic.

2.    Assessment of personal asset and liabilities – based on the factors such as intelligence, talents, industriousness, resourcefulness, flexibilities, and physical attractiveness.

3.    Personal growth – can take off from self-awareness and personal asset and liabilities. Growing and learning continuously and consistency means total development.

4.    Personal effectiveness – means how useful you are, not only to yourself but also to other people. “No one is an island”, as a saying goes. One cannot live alone in a room and exempt himself from problems and challenges in society.

TECHNIQUES IN DEVELOPING PERSONALITY

            There are four steps to developing personality. These are the following:

1.    Realize that improvement is needed.

2.    Have a strong motive or desire to improve.

3.    Take an inventory or make a checklist of strong and weak points of what is to be improved.

4.    Have a step-by step procedure.

SOME TIPS TO DEVELOP THE PERSONALITY

1.    Be a better listener

Take time to listen with others story.

2.    Read more and expand your interest

The more you read and cultivate new interest, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.

3.    Be a good conversationalist

This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others.

4.    Have an opinion

There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on.  However if you have an uncommon point of view or different opinion, you are interesting and stimulating to be in the company.

5.    Meet new people

Make the effort to meet new people especially these unlike you. It not only expose you to different cultures an alternative ways of doing things. It broadens your horizons.

6.    Be yourself

The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you’re not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that unique is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of some else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.

7.    Have a positive outlook and attitude

Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see coming. Instead, be kind the nothing of upbeat person who lights up a room with you energy when we enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer and enliven others with your presence.

8.    Be fun and see the humorous side of life

Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh or smile. Look for the humorous or quirky side in a situation – there always one. When you are fun and lighthearted people are naturally attracted to you

9.    Be supportive of others

Be supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate you’re your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we’re down

10. Have Integrity and treat other people with respect

Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person’s personality more than integrity and respect- respect others as well as respect yourself.

BEAUTY

            This is the innate quality of a person. it also a way of being a manner of acting and a way of looking. To achieved balanced beauty the inner and outer must be blend to be joined by an ability to love and to be loved, by an awareness and curiosity about life, by intelligence and happiness, social grace and by self-expressions through all bodily movements- beauty is made, not born.

Outer beauty – People meet the outer you before they are able to meet the inner you.

·         The outer packaging – consist of physical beauty and general appearance through clothing, accessories, make-up and hair style as well as shape and condition of the body.

·         Personal attractiveness and the outer behavior, poise and education.

·         Total image that determines just how handsome or beautiful a person is.

·         Physical attractiveness, which includes physical factors, such as health, youthfulness, facial symmetry and complexion.

Inner beauty – To think is to be beautiful.

·         An attitude by which to live and an image to project.

·         It requires self-analysis, goal setting, commitment discipline and perseverance.

·         Learn to recognize strength and weakness, the good and bad qualities and then decide what to be done.

·         Inner beauty is calm, serene, optimistic, poised and self-confident which will be reflected in posture, face and voice.

LIKING YOURSELF

            It is essential to be beauty is to like and love yourself. Respect and love your unique self. It is only when you begin to love yourself that you will become an interesting person. The rewards of these are outward poise and inward confidence. Confidence brightens our eyes, strengthens our posture and brings a smile our lips.

            Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride, it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to like you too. We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy person.

 

Chapter II

Physical Aspect of Personality

Physical Health and Hygiene

Ø  The maintenance of good physical health is attained through physical hygiene is the maintenanceof personal cleanliness and sanitation of the body . Daily exercise , daily bath , daily climination habits , eight glasses of drinking water , test and sleep , a well balanced diet , sun shine and air free from pollutions are the things needed to be a physically fit individual .

              

Ø  Physical well being is the basis for the efficient and enjoyable performance of every activity in which you engage. To achieve maximum physical well being you need adequate medical care ,      per diet and elimination , sufficient exercise rest and sleep and good habits of posture .

              

Ø  Like any machine , the human body wears out in time. The care or the abuse that you give your body can slow or speed its gradual deteriotation .

Choosing a balanced diet

Ø  For many people the word “diet” means only a reducing program . But by definition “diet” is the kind of food on which a person live . To regulate or restrict the food and drink ; To eat discriminately .

Ø  In fact , a well balanced diet is absolutely essential to godd health.

There are six major nutrients needed by a body

1.)Proteins – Provide the food elements for building or replacing worn out tissues.

                           Ex. meat, eggs, fish, cheese, peas and beans

2.)Carbohydrates – Provide energy, supply the body with quick energy and health.

                           Ex. Sweet and starchy food such as bread, cereals, macaroni and potatoes.

3.)Minerals          -     Regulating nervous system irritability, determining strength soundness of bones and teeth and controlling functioning of some the glands.

                           Ex. Milk, eggs, fruits and vegetables

4.)Fat                 -     fat is an essential nutrient that provides you with energy and helps to promote overall health. Fat can be monounsaturated, saturated or polyunsaturated. Monounsaturated fats and polyunsaturated fats are found in some pressed oils,
Ex. Avocados , nuts , cheese , meats

5.)Vitamins -    Vitamins are organic substances which your body requires to function at its best. Vitamins are either water-soluble or fat-soluble, depending on what is needed to be combined with them for your body to be able to absorb them. Vitamins A, D, E and K are fat-soluble, while vitamin C and B vitamins such as vitamin B-12 and riboflavin must be dissolved in water before your body can process them. Vitamins serve a multitude of purposes. The fat-soluble vitamins are stored in your body and help maintain the quality of your skin, hair and eyes, and also promote healthy cell development. Vitamin C can improve your immune system, and B vitamins promote healthy red blood-cells.

6.)Water            -     Water is the most important nutrient, and is necessary for your body and organs to function. Water occurs naturally, and can be consumed if it is fresh and purified.
Ex. Watermelon, apples and tomatoes are high in water content. 

Daily care of the eyes might include such as :

1.)    Simple exercise as look off into the distance.

2.)    Closing the eyes momentarily

3.)    Having proper light to read by .

Care for the ear

Ø  The ears also deserve regular attention and care .

1.)    keep hard pointer articles out of ears

2.)    Remove wax in the ear used fewdrops of warm water , glycerine or oil to loosen it, then remove it carefully with a piece of clean cotton or a swap.

Care of hair

Ø  Hair is our crowning glory. Take proper care of your hair and they will in return compliment your personality, The ff. are things to remember in taking of the hair.

1.)    Always comb the hair gently to prevent breakage.

2.)    Shampoo it twice a day or once a week.

3.)    Split ends are caused by dryness . Cut them off .

4.)    Baldness and dandruff need more soalp stimulation . Baldness should referred to a dermatologist.

Care of the nails

Ø  Take a close look at your fingernails. Are they strong and healthy looking? Or do you see ridges, dents, or areas of unusual color or shape? Many less than desirable nail conditions can be avoided through proper fingernail care. Others indicate an underlying condition that requires attention.

Fingernails: Do's and don'ts for healthy nails

To keep your fingernails looking their best, follow these simple guidelines.

Do:

v  Keep your fingernails dry and clean. This prevents bacteria, fungi and other organisms from growing under your fingernails. Wear cotton-lined rubber gloves when washing dishes, cleaning or using harsh chemicals, and avoid long soaks in the tub.

v  Trim and file your fingernails regularly. Use a sharp manicure scissors or clippers. Trim your nails straight across, then round the tips in a gentle curve. It might be easiest to trim and file your fingernails when they're soft, such as after bathing.

v  Use moisturizer. When you use hand lotion, rub the lotion into your fingernails and cuticles, too.

Don't:

v  Abuse your fingernails. To prevent nail damage, don't use your fingernails as tools to pick, poke or pry things.

v  Bite your fingernails or pick at your cuticles. These habits can damage the nail bed. Even a minor cut alongside your fingernail can allow bacteria or fungi to enter and cause an infection.

v  Pull off hangnails. You might rip live tissue along with the hangnail. Instead, carefully clip off hangnails.

v  Ignore problems. If you have a nail problem that doesn't seem to go away on its own or is associated with other signs and symptoms, consult your doctor or dermatologist for an evaluation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grooming and Harmony

Ø  Good gooming means appropriate clothes on the appropriate and the self . A well groomes individual smells clean and looks clean. Basic good includes being very careful in ones choice of dress and accessories such as jewelry and accents, shoes, bags, color combination and style . All of these elements should harmonize with one another.

 

Dressing

Ø  Clothing is for protection, comfort, modesty and enhancement of your beauty the ff. are essential in buying dresses:

1.)        Good fit

2.)        Good workmanship

3.)        Good Material

Lines in Clothes

Ø A clothes line or washing line is any type of rope, cord, or twinethat has been stretched between two points (e.g. two sticks), outside or indoors, above the level of the ground. Clothing that has recently been washed is hung along the line to dry, using clothes pegs orclothes pins. Washing lines are attached either from a post or a wall, and are frequently located in back gardens, or on balconies. Longer washing lines often have props holding up sections in the middle due to the weight of the clothing.

Dress for Men

Ø Too many young men are starting their professional lives without a clue as to how to dress.

This needs to change; young men are the future leaders of society and dressing professionally is the first step towards becoming professional.

And although clothing does not make the man – the right clothing can give him precious seconds to make his case and influence others.

How to shop intelligenty :

1.)    Learn to know materials

2.)    Recognize woolens and worsteds

3.)    Examine the lining

4.)    Study lapels and shoulders

5.)    Inspect pockets and leams

6.)    Check for matering plaids or stripes

Wise buying

Ø  Wise buying includes a number of factors :

1.)    Knowing what to buy

2.)    Knowing when to buy

3.)    Weighing cost against value

4.)    Taking time for correct fit

Dress for women

            Brunswick

A three-quarter length jacket worn with a petticoat, the Brunswick was an informal gown or a traveling gown. It had a high neck, unstiffened bodice that buttoned, long sleeves, and frequently had a sack back (loose pleats) and a hood. (See also Jesuit)

Cap

The cap was worn by women and girls to dress their heads. It was a practical piece that allowed the head to be dressed without styling the hair. At the same time it protected the hair from everyday dust and dirt so that the hair need not be washed as frequently. A hat was tied on top of the cap when going out. The cap could be made of linen, cotton, or even all lace. Lace and ruffles could be added to the cap. The style of fashionable cap changed frequently.

Cape

A protective outer garment that was shaped to the neck, covered the shoulders, fastened at the center front and was usually shorter than a cloak. Made of either heavy or light fabrics of wool, cotton, or silk.

Caraco

A jacket of many different styles worn in the second half of the 18th century. It was worn with a petticoat and was considered day wear at home or for informal activities. It was always considered "undress."

Cloak

A long, loose, unfitted, protective outer garment that fell from the neck and the shoulders and was usually secured at the center front neck. Sometimes hooded, and usually made of a heavy woolen fabric.

Dress

Dress in the 18th century referred to the overall fashion for everyone and not a single garment. It was the total look from head to toe. Full dress would refer to the most formal, fashionable look. Today the military's most formal uniform is referred to as the full-dress uniform. (See also Fashionable Undress and Undress)

Fashionable Undress

In the 18th century this referred to the less formal clothing for everyone, but still in the best of fashion. Usually worn during the day. (See also Dress and Undress)

Gown

Throughout the 18th century a woman's dress usually consisted of a gown and petticoat. The gown consisted of the bodice and skirt joined together, with the skirt open in the front to reveal the separate petticoat, which was an essential part of the dress and not an undergarment. (See also Petticoat and Stomacher)

Hat

Worn for fashion and for protection against the sun, a lady out of doors almost always wore a hat. A fashionable hat usually had a very shallow, flat crown and a wide brim. Hats of chips or straw were the most popular from the 1730s to the 1770s. There were many ways for them to be trimmed and trims would change with the fashions. A straw hat might even be entirely covered with fabric. Ladies' riding hats were often of felt and might be cocked like a gentleman's.

Jesuit

Similar to the Brunswick, but the skirt of the gown was full length. (See alsoBrunswick)

Mitts or Mittens

In the 18th century mitts were elbow-length, fingerless gloves. Although there was a thumb, it was open and the fingers were left free. They were usually cut with peaked flaps over the knuckles. Embroidered floral motifs and fancy arm openings were popular adornments. Heavy mitts gave warmth in winter and light weight ones protected the arms from the sun in summer. In the winter the hands could be kept warm with a muff.

Mob Cap

A mob was undress headwear; becoming popular in the 1730s and worn in some form into the next century. It had a puffed crown placed high on the back of the head, a deep flat border surrounding the face, and side pieces carried down like short lappets, which could be left loose, pinned, or tied under the chin. The flat border usually was frilled or had lace.

Muffs

Tube-like accessories used for keeping the hands warm, muffs were of various sizes as dictated by fashion. They could be covered with fur, cloth, or feathers, and were usually padded.

Pattens

Pattens were overshoes consisting of a raised sole standing on an iron ring, with an adjustable strap used to secure them. Designed to lift the wearer's shoes off the ground so as to protect them from soiling or damage when there was wetness, mud, or muck. Pattens were worn by both men and women into the early 20th century.

Petticoat

A woman's skirt-like garment worn with a gown or jacket. Most gowns were open-fronted robes needing the addition of the petticoat to fill the gap. Quilted ones could be worn for both warmth and fashion. Underpetticoats of linen, wool, or cotton were added for warmth.

Riding Habit

A riding habit consisted of a petticoat, jacket, and waistcoat, or waistcoat fronts attached to the jacket. The jacket followed the lines of men's coats until the 1780s, except that it had a waist seam and bust darts. Habits were suitable for traveling and fashionable undress.

Shift

The shift was the undermost garment worn by children and women. It served the same purpose as the man's shirt. Made from various qualities of white linen, it had either a drawstring or plain neck, as well as drawstrings or cuffs at the elbows. It could be plain or lace trimmed.

Shoes

Shoes were made of silk fabrics, worsteds, or leathers. Depending on current fashions, they may or may not have had elevated heels. They would fasten by buckles, clasps or, if very utilitarian they might have ties.

Short Gown

Loose T-shaped garments cut to the length of the hip or thigh. Made to wrap or Bed Gown over in front and held together by pinning or held closed with the apron. Made of utilitarian fabrics to be worn by the laboring sort and made of better fabric for the middling sort and worn as undress.

Sleeve Ruffles

Ruffles were attached to the edge of the gown sleeves to cover the elbows. Either plain or lace trimmed ruffles, the degree of decoration and the number of ruffles varied with fashion.

Stays

Stays were the essential foundation garment of the 18th century. They developed from the "boned bodies" of the 17th century, and in the 19th century were to become corsets. But just as the names of these garments changed, so did the shape and effect upon the body. The fashionable 17th century torso was an elongated tubular trunk, with little taper and encased the bosom. Through the 18th century stays covered the body with their conical form, lifting and supporting the bosom. In the 19th century corsets created a curvelinear body, minimizing the waist and accentuating the bosom. The stays of the 18th century, therefore, did much more to support the body and remind one of good posture than they did to cinch the waist. Women of the gentry and middling sorts wore stays most of the time. Children of these classes also wore stays to learn proper carriage. While fashionable ladies' stays were wanted for a good shape, working women needed them for good support. All women were admonished by their contemporaries to not tightly lace or "straight" lace their stays out of concern for possible injury. Those who did so out of vanity were mocked by the satirical print to the right, entitled, "Tight Lacing or Fashion before Ease." The extent to which stays were worn by slaves is unclear. Plantation records do not indicate the use of stays in the yearly allotment to field slaves. That some slaves, particularly house slaves, did wear stays is proven by the many descriptions in runaway ads. As the sorts of women who wore stays varied greatly, so did the types and quality of the garments themselves. Frequently constructed in layers of linen with narrow strips of boning inserted within, stays could vary from perfectly rigid to very pliable. Boning was either baleen, metal, wood, pasteboard, or pack thread. Their exteriors could be covered in fine silks, utilitarian worsteds, or plain linens. Perhaps the lowest sort of stays were those given by church charity, generally made in a single layer of thick leather. (See also Children's Clothing-Stays)

Stomacher

A triangular shaped piece of fabric used in the front of the gown to hold the gown together. Sometimes soft, but might be stiffened, it would be attached to the bodice lining by pins and tabs, hooks and eyes, or lacing. It might be plain or highly trimmed. It could be made of the same fabric of the gown, or of contrasting fabric and therefore might be worn with different gowns.

Tucker

A plain or lace ruffle stitched around the neck of a gown.

Undress

Undress in the 18th century referred to the everyday, utilitarian working clothes.

How to cultivate Good taste

1.)    Trends in position

2.)    Standard for business dress

3.)    Building a basic wardrobe

4.)    Selecting clothes that are right for you

Accessories

Ø  A supplementary item or something nonessentials but desirable that contributes to an effect or result . The addition of accent, known as accessorizing , is , first of all , a way to make an outfit yours

Some of accessories are :

ü  Belts

ü  Earings

ü  Necklace

ü  Bracelets

Color choice

            Color : The link ung the total look

Ø  The first principle in decorating yourself understands not any what colors are rigt for you, but which clarities of the colors you should wear.

Ø  Some attributes of colors are lightness, brightness, shades and clarity. Light colors transmit more light . Brightness is that attribute by which an areas is judged to emit more or less light . Brightness varies from invinsible to dazzling.

Factors affecting choice of colors :

1.)          Color of skin , eyes and hair

2.)          Personality

3.)          Occasion

Good habits of Posture

Ø  Good posture is as much an integral part of your good personal appearance as the clothes that you wear.

Ø  Correct posture adds to your appearance lends poise and confidence to your bearing and contributes markedly to your good health.

Correct Standing position :

1. Head up straight with chin tucked.  Do not tilt head.

2. Stretch the top of your head toward the ceiling.

3. Earlobes in line with the middle of shoulders. 

4. Keep shoulder blades back.

5. Keep knees straight but not locked back.

6. Tuck stomach in.  Do not tilt pelvis forward or backward.

7. The arches in your feet should be supported by proper shoes.

8. Avoid standing in the same position for a long time. If possible, adjust the

height of your work table to a comfortable level.

9. When standing, try to elevate one foot by resting it on a stool or box. After

several minutes, switch your foot position.

10. While working in the kitchen, open the cabinet under the sink and rest one

foot on the inside of the cabinet. Change feet every 5 to 15 minutes. 

Correct Sitting position :

           

1. Sit with back straight and shoulders back. Buttock should touch the back of the chair. 

2. All three normal back curves should be present while sitting. A small, rolled-up towel or lumbar

roll may be helpful to maintain the normal curves in your back.

3. Distribute body weight evenly on both hips.

4. Bend knees at a right angle. Keep knees even with or slightly lower

than hips. (use a foot rest or stool if necessary) Your legs should not

be crossed. 

5. Keep feet flat on the floor. 

6. Try to avoid sitting in the same position for more than 30 minutes. 

7. At work, adjust your chair height and work station so you can sit up

close to your work and tilt it up at you. Rest your elbows and arms on

your chair or desk, keeping your shoulders relaxed.  SEE WORK

STATION PICTURES

8. When sitting in a chair that rolls and pivots, don’t twist at the waist

while sitting. Instead, turn your whole body.

9. When standing up from the sitting position, move to the front of the

seat of your chair. Stand up by straightening your legs.  Avoid

bending forward at your waist. 

Correct Walking position :

1. Stand up straight.

2. Think of being a tall and straight. Do not arch your back.

3. Do not lean forward or lean back. Leaning puts strain on the back muscles.

4. Eyes forward, not looking down, rather 20 feet ahead.

5. Chin up (parallel to the ground). This reduces strain on neck and back.

6. Shrug once and let your shoulders fall and relax, your shoulders slightly back.

7. Suck in your stomach.

8. Tuck in your behind and rotate your hip forward slightly. This will keep you from arching your back.

CHAPTER III

GOOD MANNER AND DECORUM         

            Ideal behavior is a combination of knowing the proper thing to do and doing it considerately and graciously. Although we talk of acquiring social graces, learning manners for business, having home or company manners as if there were several types of manners, one set is really all that anyone needs. If you are basically considerate and mannerly at home, with company, at school, at work, on the street, you are a gentleman or a lady. Your manners mellow with use and become part of you. Decorum is propriety and taste in behavior, speech, dress etc one who observes decorum can gain the respect of others and is admired by those around him.

ETIQUETTE VERSUS MANNERS

            The terms “manners” and “etiquette” are frequently used synonymously. Actually they have quite different dictionary meanings as well as different connotations. Etiquette, a French word meaning “ticket,” came to mean a rule for behavior when Louis XIV tagged the palace grounds with “etiquette” telling visitors “This way to the rose garden” or “Please keep off grass.” Today etiquette means the conventional rules of behavior, the customs handed down to us or the ones we formulate to meet specific situations.

            To be mannerly is to go beyond the technicalities of these set rules to the spirit that motivates behavior, to the morals and the principles that prompt manners, to the way that a thing is done or happens.

RULES TO ETIQUETTE

            Manners in the Family 

1.    Do not read the others message.

2.    Ask the permission before borrowing your siblings’ things.

3.    Knock and wait for an answer before opening the door.

4.    Reply courteously to parents or to older members of the family

5.    Every member has the right to entertain his or friends with a minimum interference from the rest of the family unless the occasion is a family affair.

6.    Use the magic words “Excuse me”, “Sorry” and “Please” as the need arises.

7.    Never open your parents’ bag or drawers.

8.    Let your parents know when you have to leave.

9.    Avoid interrupting conversation.

10. When you get up from bed leave it in order.

Table Manner do’s

1. Sit properly (and straight) in your chair.
2. Talk about pleasant things.
3. Place your napkin on your lap.
4. Wait until everyone is seated before starting to eat.
5. Watch others, or ask, if you're not sure how to eat something.
6. Ask someone to pass the food, rather than reach across the table.
7. Chew with your mouth closed.
8. Don't talk with your mouth full.
9. Use a knife and fork to cut your meat.
10. Say "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" if you burp.
11. Say "no thank you" if you don't want a certain dish or are full
12. Say "may I please be excused" before leaving the table.

Table Manner Don’ts

1. Don't talk about gross things.
2. Don't ask for seconds before others have had firsts.
3. Don't take more than your fair share
4. Don't overload your fork or plate.
5. Don't gobble your food.
6. Don't chew with your mouth open.
7. Don't talk with your mouth full.
8. Don't play at the table.
9. Don't hum or sing at the table.
10. Don't tip your chair or lean on the table.

11. Don't eat with or lick your fingers.
12. Don't push your plate away when you're finished.

Good Table Conduct

1.    Be well groomed when you come to the table.

2.    Come to the table promptly when called.

3.    It is discourteous to make other wait for you and a sign of thoughtlessness and inconsideration for the person who prepared the meals.

4.    Wait for others instead of rushing to the table ahead of them. When there are older or more important persons, permit them to precede you to the table.

5.    Be seated only after all have assembled at the table and then sit down from the left side of your chair. Everyone sits down at the table at the same time.

6.    If you are a man, help or assist the ladies by pulling out their chairs and pushing the chairs forward as the ladies are seated.

7.    If grace is to be said, sit or stand quietly while it is being done.

8.    As soon as you are seated, keep your hands in your lap and your elbows close to your sides so as not to interfere with someone next you.

9.    Put your napkin in your lap. Large napkins are partly unfolded; small napkins may be completely unfolded.

10. Be observant of the needs of others. See that food is passed to them. Do not serve yourself first unless the hostess asks you to do so.

11. Eat the food served, but be quite about your eating (gulping and smacking food are repulsive).

12. Keep your share in the conversation but avoid talking about unpleasant or objectionable topics.

13. Apologize in the event of an accident and then try to forget your disaster.

14. Never reach or grab for food. Request pleasantly what you want.

15. Manage you silver inconspicuously and learn the rules for its correct usage.

Modesty

Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to "glorify God in our body and in our spirit".

1.    Wear simple and appropriate clothing at all times.

2.    Wears jewelry and other accessories properly.

3.    Avoids the use of excessive makes ups.

4.    Avoids giggling and laughing boisterously in public.

5.    Speaks well in well modulated voice.

6.    Refrains from boasting of her influential, friends and acquaintances.

7.    Does not use foul words in group conversation.

8.    Avoids certain places of enjoyment or entertainment.

9.    Does not accept expensive things from a man because that may be a bait to make her swallow the hook.

10. Does not comb her hair in public nor cut her fingernails.

Manners in Public

1. When you are out in a public place, keep in mind that although you may be excited and want to voice your excitement, other people around you may not want to hear what you have to say. Keep your comments down at a low volume and address only the person or persons you are out with as not to disturb anybody else. This includes laughing as well. Do not laugh so loud as to disturb or annoy others within hearing distance.

2. People do not like unpleasant odors, so take precautions as to not offend anyone with the way you smell. When out in public, be sure to wear clothing that is clean and fresh. Wear deodorant to prevent body odors. If you wear a perfume or cologne, be sure to only use a very small amount as to prevent the scent from being overwhelming, as what smells good to you may not be so pleasant for someone else. Do not expel gas in public either. If you must do so, find a public restroom. Brush your teeth to freshen your breath before leaving home.

3. Dress in a way that is appropriate for the place that you are going. If you are going to an event where people dress in a formal or a semi-formal way, do the same. For example, do not wear blue-jeans and a t-shirt to a cocktail party. Do not dress suggestively or in a vulgar manner. On the other hand, if you are going to a museum or a movie theater, it is acceptable to dress casually. In other words, try and dress the way you think others will dress at the place you are going. 

4. When you are out where there are a lot of people within ear-shot and eye-shot, mind your verbal and non-verbal. Do not use swear words which may offend other people, especially when there are children around. Do not argue in public and do not say things that could be construed as critical. Refrain from doing things like pointing at people and using rude hand gestures such as sticking up your middle finger.

5. If you are eating in a public place, use your table manners. Use your utensils properly and do not pick up food with your hands that you are able to pick up with a fork or a spoon. Remember to place your napkin on your lap.

On Taking a Public/Private Vehicles

1.    When riding a jeep, wait for the loading and unloading shed.

2.    When the PUJ stops, let the passengers come down first before you get in to the jeepney.

3.    Pay for the fair before getting off.

4.    It is always more polite for a gentleman to seat a lady on his right. However, the male should always be at the danger side.

5.    A lady is assisted by her male companion in getting into the car. He allowed to put his hand under the elbow while assisting her.

6.    In her own car a lady always sites on the right hand side of the rear sit of a car that is driven by a chauffeur.

At the Mass or Inside the Church

 

            The church is the place of worship. It is a formal quiet place.

 

·         Attire

Although church technically has no dress code, it is good manners to dress nicely for services. Avoid wearing torn clothing, or clothing that is particularly revealing. Such attire can be a distraction for others, and it also shows a lack of respect for God and the church. Men do not have to wear a suit and tie, and women do not have to wear a dress; dressy pants and a nice shirt are adequate. Of course, if you do not own any nice clothes, you will still be welcome in church.

·         Quiet

Church is generally a quiet place for worship and reflection. The preacher speaks often throughout the service, and may expect parishioners to respond at certain points. However, you should avoid making excessive noise. This includes allowing infants and small children to cry during the service. Some churches offer a "cry room" where parents can take crying children, and participate in the service without disturbing others. In addition, it is always good manners to turn off or silence cell phones when entering a church.

·         Entering and Leaving

Parishioners should arrive early enough to get settled before the service. Entering after the service has started may be a distraction to others. You should also avoid having to leave in the middle of the service, so use the restroom before the service starts. If you must leave in the middle, avoid doing so when the congregation's attention is at the altar. It's a good idea to sit near the back of the church if you think you will need to leave for any reason.

·         Photography

Many churches do not allow flash photography or videos during services. Even if a church does allow these activities, taking pictures or videos during a service may distract other worshipers, as well as the clergy. If you must take pictures, turn the flash off, and put the camera away as soon as you're done.

·         Participation

Each denomination has its own set of rules and norms for participation, which generally apply to all parishioners. If you are visiting a church to which you do not belong, you should educate yourself about these practices ahead of time, and find out whether you are allowed to participate as an outsider. If you can participate, talk to an elder or clergy member to find out what they will expect of you. Normally, everyone who attends church should participate in verbal responses, standing practices and singing.

·         Children

Although children are just as welcome in church as any other person, parents must control their children while at church. It is okay to bring small snacks, a book or a quiet toy to keep your child occupied during the service. However, you must help your child understand that he should not speak to you or anyone else, and must sit quietly and read, play or draw. Do not let your children run wild, kick the seats in front of them or crawl around on the floor.

Hotel and Restaurant

It depends on the restaurant. I don't know the etiquette for a very formal restaurant but, if you are going to somewhere to sit down and eat a meal there are some things that you should always do. 

1. Never have your elbows on the table. 
2. Place your napkin on your lap. 
3. Don't lick your fingers. 
4. If your phone rings either excuse yourself or ignore it.

Manner in Travelling

            Whether you travel by plan, ship, auto, train, or bus, travel light but be sure to take along your best manner.

·         For short trips by bus or train, few special problems arise. But whatever the length of your trip, be sure that your luggage or packages do not protrude for other to stumble over.

·          If you travel in a Pullman on a longer train trip, remember that the person who has the lower berth rides facing forward during the day. The person with the upper berth takes the opposite seat and rides backward. Be particularly careful to safeguard your billfold, purse, or other valuables while traveling.

·         A woman traveling alone should not accept invitation from other travelers to lunch or dinner unless she makes it clear that she will pay her own check. The companionship may be pleasant but, if it is not, she is under no obligation and may terminate the acquaintance with no qualms.

·         If you use the services of a red cap in boarding or leaving train, or if the porter performs any special services for you while you are traveling, you are expected to give a tip.

·         Air travel is simplified because most of your most needs are cared for the airline. Tips are not permitted however, the cost of the limousine or taxi trip to and from the airport are not included in your fare. You may tip the person who carries your luggage to and from limousine.

·         If you plan a trip by a car, agree with your companions about financial arrangements before starting. Automobile travel requires tolerance of the preferences of other passengers and a willingness to be agreeable and cooperative about where you will go, when you will stop for meals, and where you will spend the night.

·         Observing the courtesies of the road is not only a part of your social equipment but is a matter of life itself. Both the driver and his passengers have responsibilities toward each other. Passengers should not divert the driver’s attention, back-seat drive, or in any way interfere with the operation of the car. The driver should not over crowd his car. He should not mix romance or liquor with driving. He should obey all traffic rules.

Manner in Dating

            When a fellow asks for a date, he should word his invitation in such a way that the girl can refuse or accept easily. To ask, “What are you doing Saturday night?” puts a girl in an embarrassing position. Whether she accepts or refuses a date, a girl should respond courteously.

1. Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’. It’s so simple, yet forgotten by so many. It’s courteous and polite to say these words of good faith, it keeps the mood positive and removes any possible conflict. When you’re out at a bar, ordering a drink, start your sentence with “Please can I have…” If you’ve ever worked behind a bar, you’ll know how much of a pleasure it is serving a genuinely nice person for a change.

Social proof is more attractive than being a hard-nut, and so by saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, you’ll gain more smiles from the people around you. More smiles equals greater rapport, and the more rapport you have with others the higher your social proof. Girls enjoy being secure, so build a comfortable environment by befriending everyone around with these effortless words.

2. Conceal your dislikes and disgusts. Nobody likes a moaner, and especially not on a first date. After spending the most part of an hour or more getting ready: hair, make-up, clothes and shoes (not to mention accessories), the last thing a girl wants is to hear you tell her about your disgust for politics, feet and all things fluffy. Keep things positive by talking about the things you love instead.

Besides, the whole point of this first date was to try something new, explore new opportunities and to live life in great company. So take this further by making yourself open to changes in your own beliefs. Maybe, just maybe she’ll have the most beautiful feet you’ve ever seen that secrete majestic perfume.

But when something does arise that you feel strongly against, do yourself a favor and use your other gentlemanly skill of conversation to digress onto a new topic that’ll provide some entertainment.

3. Be a good listener because she will value that so highly it’ll set you way above the rest. Most men get bored very easily listening to a lady talk about female topics because they have no initial interest. If you already have a bit of knowledge on the topic, it’ll be easy to stay engaged. If you don’t, here lies the perfect opportunity to gain some.

Two ears, one mouth. Aim to listen twice as much as you talk, and not only will you find that it makes your night easier, it also develops comfort and trust as the more she talks to you, the more willing she becomes to tell you more. Yet this doesn’t mean sit there in silence nodding your head like a pigeon, ask intelligent questions that require some thought. Engage in a deep topic, and bring it up to a higher level so that nothing seems off limits between you.

4. Hold the door open for every lady that walks by. You’ll get bored, frustrated and wonder what on earth the point is, until you get that one smile and glimpse of feminine beauty as she graces unhindered through the doorway. Whether it’s huge handbags, gigantic prams, or mammoth shopping bags, girls will always have stuff with them. As you stand there, waiting for your date to hurry up in the restroom, make yourself useful and open the door, everytime.

If your date happens to see this, all the better for you. She has now visual evidence that you are a gentleman, someone that will help her when she has a towering load of stuff. On a deeper level, by opening doors you are increasing the flow and connectivity of the world; removing resistance and hampers.

5. Don’t answer that phone. As a precaution, you should turn it on silent or turn it off completely before the date. Answering the phone, or sending a text will abrupt everything. Every laugh, smile and previous conversation will go dead. And the only way to revive it is to say, “so, where were we?” No, you’re here for a reason, and that’s to connect with this girl, not to speak into your phone.

If you can feel it vibrating in your pocket, ignore it. Lot’s of girls will exclaim excitedly, “Oo! Vibration, look who’s got friends” as they take out their phone but that doesn’t mean you should. Stand for your own beliefs. But if a time comes when it’s imperative to answer, at least have the courtesy to let it ring until the conversation has finished, or to take it in the restroom.

6. Give up your seat to anybody in need. Old or young, pregnant or not, if they need your seat for whatever reason, give it to them with a smile. Even if they’re young, and don’t need assistance, give it up for a girl. It may be the kindest thing that’s happened to them all week. But take caution, when on a date, this doesn’t still apply to the same extent.

There are many benefits to giving up your seat, and they include burning more calories, gaining stronger leg muscles, having the opportunity to begin conversation with the recipient and showing everyone a good example of how a gentleman should be.

7. Never use vulgarisms. This means don’t swear, ever. You should never feel the need to swear in the first place, if you do, then you’re not in control. Swear words are harsh sounding, piercing to the ear and automatically associate yourself with people lower language quality. The spoken word should maintain a steady timbre; a beating rhythm that is only heard when you listen closely. Don’t break this rhythm with a single word.

8. Give sincere compliments because this is the surest way to develop trust. You know not to smother a girl in praise, adoration or affection because this will lower the value of each compliment, possibly to the extent that she is repulsed by them. If you think your date is beautiful, then pluck up the courage to tell her so.

Compliments have a scale though. Saying “wow, you’re beautiful” has a much greater effect then “aw, you’re cute.” So change the frequency of compliments in relation to their scale. Use them with honesty and humor, but always keep in mind that she’s probably heard it ten times before. Somehow then, your compliment has to be worth the most. How do you do this? By having belief.

9. Have good eating habits. Too many dates go horribly wrong when a piece of fish or something similar gets stuck on your chin, just where you can’t see it. Sadly, the girl is embarrassed to tell you, so for hours this piece of fish sits quietly on your face. Avoid it happening by chewing with your mouth closed, not speaking whilst eating, taking smaller bites and using your napkin.

At the same time, set the example. Always point out to the girl if she has something on her face, show that you don’t talk until you’ve swallowed, and wash it down with a hearty gulp of water. Remember to use a knife and fork, and whilst we’re at it, keep elbows below karate style heights.

10. Be patient. Whether she’s ten minutes late, or there are no taxis about, stay calm. There’s nothing worse than ruining a perfectly good evening by huffing and puffing about the delay on the train home. There are two ways of looking at it, you can either believe that the government has not funded enough money into the public transport infrastructure, or you can take it as a great opportunity to talk for longer with your date, possibly even go for a romantic walk whilst you wait, or even have another drink. Who knows, maybe she’ll invite you back to hers as it would be so bad for her to leave you stranded after such a nice night out.

Telephone Manners

            Courtesy in using the telephone and efficient telephone techniques are discussed below.

            Place calls correctly. Be sure that you have the correct number. For long-distance calls, give the operator all the pertinent information: name, street address, city, states, and telephone number if you have it. Hold the line until the call is completed, or until you receive a report. Identify yourself at the beginning of the conversation.

            Answer Properly. Pick up the telephone on the first ring if possible. Keep the transmitter within an inch of your lips. Speak slowly and clearly.

            Identify Yourself. On your own telephone, give your name, or your extension number. On someone else’s telephone say, “Mr. Allen’s office, Miss King.” On a department telephone, identify the department, and give your name.

            Transfer Calls Carefully. Transfer a call only when it is absolutely necessary. Explain the caller the reason for the transfer. Signal the operator by slowly depressing and releasing the plunger or the receiver hook. When the operator answers, request the transfer, and wait for her answer.

            Taking Calls for Others. When it is necessary to intercept calls for your employer or take messages for other family members, use the utmost tact in determining the identity of the caller. Answer in one of the following ways. Do not use the abrupt “Who’s calling?”

            Leave the Line Courteously. Request the caller’s permission with “Will you please wait while I look up the number?” Thank the caller for waiting when you return to the line. If too much time is required to get the information, explain and offer to call back.

            Terminate Calls Pleasantly. Express appreciation or regret, as may be appropriate. Say “Goodbye,” and wait for the caller to hang up or say “good-bye.” Replace the receiver gently.

Correct way to answer the telephone

The proper way to answer the telephone is "hello." On the other hand, simply answering "yes" is a curt and inappropriate response. The person making the call draws a very quick conclusion, and that is, to think of that person as cold and aloof, and hesitates to communicate readily.

At times, someone other than the head of the house will answer the telephone. If that person is asked, "may I speak to Mr. ________ please," the response should be, "one moment please, I will get him for you." If the head of household is not available the response should be, "I am sorry, Mr. _____ is not available at this time, may I take a message?" This is simply a form of good manners, whatever form it may be expressed, thoughtfulness for the feelings of others. This person may be calling to offer a new job with great pay and benefits, who's to know! What would he or she think if the answer to the question, "is Mr. _____ home please," would be an abrupt "no." This response would reflect negatively, on the actual person being called.

Manner and Ethics in Business

            The relationship between men and women and between employer and employee in business differs from that in social and family activities because business requires more formality.

            Your Good Manners. If you have acquired good manner throughout the many diversified experience of childhood and early adulthood, entering the business world should hold no terrors for you.

            Office Etiquette. Office etiquette differs from accepted social usage. Women may expect the ordinary courtesies that men and women regularly exchange, but no more. Women have sought for and have attained considerable equality in the business world, for which they must pay the price of less deference to their ferminity during office hours.

            Ethical Conduct. Now let us examine some of the principles that make up the business code of ethics.

                                                              CHAPTER IV

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECT OF PERSONALITY

A. INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT

·         Personal Discipline

               Developing personal discipline is one virtue many people work hard to achieve. Many define it as a power within that enables them tackle challenges. Others see it as the ability to stick with an objective even though the motivation is not there to do it. Still for some, it is what they refer to as a guiding principle for life. In a nutshell personal discipline could be regarded as the ability for us to do what we know we should do whether it is convenient or not for us to do so. (Adie Vanessa, Personal discipline: A success key)

·         Self-awareness

            Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.

We might quickly assume that we are self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you have ever been in an auto accident you may have experienced everything happening in slow motion and noticing details of your thought process and the event. This is a state if heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations. (Lompoc, Pathway To Happiness)

·         Self-esteem

           Self-esteem can have a big part to play in how you feel about yourself and also how much you enjoy things or worry about things.

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's first take a look at the word esteem (say: ess-teem), which means that someone or something is important, special, or valuable. For example, if you really admire your friend's dad because he volunteers at the fire department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

And self means, well, yourself! So put the two words together and it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about the things you can do. (Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.)

·         Attitude awareness

       Is food intake and fitness part of Attitude Awareness? Of course! Everything about your life is affected by what you tell yourself concerning what you're experiencing. You consciously and subconsciously program your computer/brain by the thoughts you think. You feel more control over your life when you purposely think the thoughts you choose to think. An interesting fact is that your thoughts quickly turn into beliefs, and that makes changing thoughts more challenging once that happens.

With summer already here, could you use a change in attitude to shed a few pounds and trim your body a bit? Would you like to feel better, have more energy, and to look better as you get into your warm weather clothes?

Would you like just a bit of slack in your slacks? If you think you're going to go on a "diet" you'll hate it and even sabotage it. Diets feel restrictive, they feel like a punishment, and you'll feel deprived if you put yourself on a diet. You'll have more success with slimming your body if you don't label your decision. Think of it as an adventure in seeing how great you can look within a few weeks of just modifying your habits. This is where attitude enters your consciousness.  (Judy A. Laslie, Attitude Awareness)

·         Self-confidence

               Self-confidence is the confidence one has in oneself, one’s knowledge, and one’s abilities. It is the confidence of the type: "I can do this". " I have the ability to do this". Self-confidence is the one thing that is much more important than many other abilities and traits. If you do not have self-confidence, what you do will never become fruitful at all. The fruits of what you do without self-confidence are lost.

Genuine self-confidence is the forerunner of achievements. Self-confidence integrates the powers of mind and body and focuses them towards the goal. Only such a concentrated energy can reach the goal.

Self-confidence is the first step to progress, development, achievement and success. Even if you have a lot of abilities and a lot of knowledge, if you do not have Self-confidence you cannot be a success. But, on the contrary, even if you have only average abilities and knowledge, if you have an unfailingly true self-confidence, chances are that you achieve what you want to.( Ajan Raghunathan, Psycohlogy4all )

CONFIDENCE IN ONES WORK

·         Dare try to succeed

·         Transform self-consciousness to self-confidence

·         Strive toward mental relaxation

·         Respond to the needs of others

·         Have confidence in your values

·         Learn to listen

·         Be a doer instead of a listener

·         Be quick to compliment and be slow to criticize

B. STRESS AND STRESSORS

Stress refers to the response you have to extreme pressure, hardship, or pain that either occurs suddenly or builds up over time. It can be an emotional struggle; a physical obstacle that must be overcome; the result of being pulled in many different directions by demands from family, friends, and work; a response to an unpredicted emergency such as a natural disaster or loss of a loved one; and many other factors that cause unpleasant restlessness. (www.netplace.com)

·         Effects of stress

The human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert and ready to avoid danger. Stress becomes negative when a person faces continuous challenges without relief or relaxation between challenges. As a result, the person becomes overworked and stress-related tension builds.

Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can lead to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases.( Jeanne Segal, Ph.D , Mental Health)

·         Positive effects of stress

Positive stress encourages us to face our fears as opportunities for positive change, instead of eminent threats to our well-being. Setting goals and carrying out our intentions to achieve what we want gets our adrenalin following. By using a stressor that may otherwise create anxiety, we can turn it around to being positive. For example, you may be preparing for something you’ve never done before. You may be worried or nervous. You can turn this around by preparing properly and visualizing exactly what you need to do for the attainment of your goal. You can replace "failure" thinking with "successful" thinking and learn to use the positive effects of stress to your advantage.

·         Negative effects of stress

In prehistoric times, the physical changes in response to stress were an essential adaptation for meeting natural threats. Even in the modern world, the stress response can be an asset for raising levels of performance during critical events such as a sports activity, an important meeting, or in situations of actual danger or crisis. If stress becomes persistent and low-level, however, all parts of the body’s stress apparatus (the brain, heart, lungs, vessels, and muscles) become chronically over- or under-activated. This may produce physical or psychological damage over time. Acute stress can also be harmful in certain situations.

KINDS OF STRESSORS

A Stressor is a chemical or biological agent, environmental condition, external stimulus or an event that causes stress to an organism. An event that triggers the stress response may include:

• environmental stressors (elevated sound levels, over-illumination, overcrowding)
• daily stress events (e.g. traffic, lost keys)
• life changes (e.g. divorce, bereavement)
• workplace stressors (e.g. role strain, lack of control)
• physical stressors (e.g. tobacco, alcohol, drugs)

Stressors have a chemical reaction inside of the body. A harmful stressor is detected by the brain, and a elemental decision pattern occurs. Initially, the stressor is detected and then transferred to the hypothalamus. Then the following steps occur: crf (conticotrophin release factor) -> pituitary gland releases “acth” (adrenocorticotropic hormone) ->adrenal cortex secretes various stress hormones (e.g. cortisol) ->stress hormones (30 varieties) travel in the blood stream to relevant organs e.g. glands, heart, intestines. ->flight-or-fight response. Between this flow there is an alternate path that can be taken after the stressor is transferred to the hypothalamus, which leads to the sympathetic nervous system. After which, the adrenal medulla secretes epinephrine. In Etymology, the word stress is from estrecier, to tighten. (wikipedia.org/wiki/Stressor)

PHYSICAL STRESSORS

STRESS

                        Heat                                                                    Traffic
                                                      
                       Cold                                                                   Violence
                                                      
                  Noise                                                                  Own illness
                                                    

             Fire                                                                           Poor work condition                                                                                                                         and equipment
                                                 

                       

 

THE FIVE KINDS OF STRESSORS

The five kinds of stressors are:

• Acute time-limited
• Brief naturalistic
• Stressful events sequences
• Chronic
• Distant

Acute Time-Limited Stressors

Acute time-limited stressors are ones given in a controlled environment such as a lab. If you are part of a study, the tech may present you with a stimulus that causes some level of anxiety for you. This could be presenting you with something that you have a phobia of or making you do something you don't feel comfortable doing. The stressor sparks intense stress but only for the time it takes to illicit a response.

BRIEF NATURALISTIC STRESSORS

Brief naturalistic stressors are ones that occur naturally in your environment such as taking a test. The stress you experience usually only lasts for the time you are in the stressful situation.

 

Stressful Events Sequences

Stressful events sequences happen when there is a traumatic event that causes additional stressors. An example of this is if you are a victim of a natural disaster and then have to deal with the loss of loved ones, belongings, and pulling your life back together.

Chronic Stressors

Chronic stressors are situations that happen that force you to change your identity or social roles. If you become disabled, you will need to adjust your life to accommodate your disabilities.

Distant Stressors

Distant stressors are stress that happened a long time ago but continue to affect your immune system negatively because of emotional and cognitive issues. Some examples of distant stressors include:

• Child abuse
• Prisoner of war
• Loss of a loved one
• War trauma

 

Knowledge Is Power in Stress Management

Now that you understand the five kinds of stressors, you can understand why you feel so anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted. You can easily manage some stressors while others need a bit more work to overcome. Acute time-limited stressors and brief naturalistic stressors only last for a short time and usually do not have lasting negative effects. However, stressful events sequences, chronic stressors, and distant stressors can affect your health over time. It's important to know that you may not be able to control the occurrence of stressors but you are able to control your reaction to them.

The reason why stressors are a problem for people is that it causes them to feel out of control. If someone close to you dies or endures an injury causing a disability or you become a victim of a natural disaster, you did nothing to cause those situations and that frightens you, which makes you feel stress. The key to overcoming that stress is to do things that make you feel that you are in control. This is why people often change the way they eat and exercise when someone close to them dies or takes extra precautions when someone becomes injured. In a natural disaster, you will often see people coming together to help others recover while helping themselves by taking advantage of available resources.

If you are experiencing a great deal of stress, it's time to take back control. Accept the source of your stress and ask yourself what you can do to help it. The steps you take will help you feel like you can control your life and your stress. (Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D. , apa.org/helpcenter/stress-kinds.aspx)

 

 

KNOWN ILLNESSES

 

It is believed that more than 50% of all visits to doctors are initially caused by stress.

Many health care professionals consider stress as one of the fundamental reasons for illnesses such as cancer and heart attack.

Others have already proved that humans under stress are more vulnerable and not resistant to trivial diseases such as simple flu.

Numerous couples all around the world and especially Europe and USA are struggling in having their own babies because of stress.

More than 60% of all men on this planet suffer the pains of inflamed hemorrhoids the main reasons for which are the work under pressure and the inability of meeting numerous tight deadlines.

Beware! Stress can be Slow

Stress may accumulate slowly so it may be difficult to notice it and if not relieved it may seriously affect your overall health.

For instance usual daily routines such as driving might turn out to be constant sources of stress, which slowly and persistently affect our physical and emotional state.

Thus stress accumulates day by day and the physical effects of stress may show up unnoticed by you.

PHYSICAL EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE INTERNAL SYSTEMS

The American Psychological Association have summarized the most common physical effects of stress on the internal systems of human's body.

 

 

Nervous System

When stress physically or psychologically the body suddenly shifts its energy resources to fighting off the perceived threat. In what is known as fight or flight response, the sympathetic nervous system signals the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol.

These hormones make the heart beat faster, raise blood pressure, change the digestive process and boost glucose levels in the bloodstream. Once the crisis passes the systems usually return to normal

 

 

Musculoskeletal System

Under stress muscles tense up. The contraction of muscles for extended periods can trigger tension headaches, migraines and various musculoskeletal conditions.

Respiratory System

Stress can make you breathe harder and cause rapid breathing, which can bring on panic attacks in some people.

Cardiovascular System

Acute stress – stress that is momentary, such as being stuck in the traffic – cause an increase in heart rate and stronger contractions of the heart muscle. Blood vessels that direct blood to the large muscles and to the heart dilate, increasing the amount of blood pumped to these parts of the body. Repeated episodes of stress can cause inflammation in the coronary arteries, thought to lead to heart attack.

Endocrine System

Adrenal glands
When the body is stressed the brain sends signals from the hypothalamus, causing the adrenal complex to produce cortisiol and the adrenal modulla to produce epinerphine – sometimes called “stress hormones”

Liver
When cortisol and epinerphine are released, the liver produces more glucose, a blood sugar that would give you the necessary energy to fight or flight in an emergency.

Gastrointestinal System

Esophagus
Stress may prompt you to eat more or much less than you usually do. If you eat more or different foods or increase your use of tobacco or alcohol you may experience heartburn or acid reflux.

Stomach
Your stomach may react with “butterflies” or even nausea or pain. You can vomit if the stress is severe enough.

Bowels
Stress can affect digestion and which nutrients your intestines absorb. It can also affect how quickly the food moves through your body. You may find that you have diarrhea or constipation.

 

Reproductive System

In men excess levels of cortisol, produced under stress, can affect the normal functioning of the reproductive system. Chronic stress can impair testosterone and sperm production and cause impotence.

In women stress cause absent or irregular menstrual cycles or more painful periods. It can also reduce sexual desire.

SOURCE: American Psychological Association

Immune system

The immune system is the internal system which is designed to protect us from any external bodies (viruses or bacteria). It costs a lot to the body meaning that it has very high energy usage.

Under stress your body needs energy to run or fight! This is why it changes its chemistry to suppress the immune system. This is why we usually get ill before or after exams or big challenges at work. (Stress mnt for health , Vishal P. Rao)

SOCIAL STRESSORS

Social stress is stress that stems from one’s relationships with others and from the social environment in general. A person experiences stress when he or she does not have the ability or resources to cope when confronted with an external stimulus (stressor), or when they fear they do not have the ability or resources. An event which exceeds the ability to cope does not necessarily have to occur in order for one to experience stress, as the threat of such an event occurring can be sufficient. This can lead to emotional, behavioral and physiological changes that can put one under greater risk for developing mental disorder and physical illness.

1. External Stressors

a) Major Life Events

Research by Psychiatrists Drs Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe revealed a list of common causes of stress that most people would find stressful.  They called this scale the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale.  The scale is a list of 45 stressors each given a number of points, with the most stressful at the top of the list (death of a spouse) and the least stressful at the bottom of the scale (a minor violation of the law).  The research indicates that if your total score is more than 150 points the chances are that it could have an impact on your health.  A score of over three hundred points in one year indicates that you have a high risk of developing a stress related health problem.

One of the weaknesses of the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment scale is that it doesnt take into account the individuals personality, their perception of how difficult the stressor is, nor does it take into account how long the stressor continues for; the scale just gives a single number for each stressor.  However, it s known that the longer a stressor continues, then the more likely it is to cause stress and that the individuals perception of an event is the key to whether they will find a situation stressful or not. 

For example, if a person is happy living in their house, theye lived there for a number of years, have developed close friends in the area and do not want to move but are forced to move because their home is being repossessed, then they are going to find the event of moving infinitely far more stressful than a person who has lived in their home for a short time, next to a very noisy, difficult neighbor and who wants to move to get away from the noise. 

To help overcome some of the drawbacks of the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment scale Professor Cary Cooper, of The University Manchester Institute of Science and Technology (UMIST), has upgraded it by allocating a scale of 1 - 10 points for each event, so allowing a persons perception of how stressful the event is, to be taken into account.  We have included a copy of Professor Coopers modified version in the course materials for you to view and use. (Brian Luke Seaward)

b) Daily Hassles

The majority of causes of stress that we face on a day-to-day basis are not as extreme as life events.  The day-to-day causes of stress are called daily hassles; they are those daily, minor irritations such as misplacing our car keys, traffic jams, minor arguments with family/colleagues, etc.  Research by Lazarus and Folkman (1984), at the University of California, indicated that it was the daily hassles rather than the major life events that affected us the most.  Life events do not occur every day, but daily hassles do; its the constant, daily frustration caused by these hassles that cause us the most stress, because they occur so regularly and therefore can undermine our health.

Some Examples of Daily Hassles

       Misplacing keys        Arguments        Traffic jams        Time pressures        Lack of sleep        Fear of Crime        Shopping

       Bureaucracy        Waiting        Loneliness        Queuing        Pollution        Gossip        Relatives

       Excess noise        Inconsiderate people        Difficult neighbours        Car breakdow        Meal Preparation        Job dissatisfaction        Office Politics        Problems with children

Psychological stressors

Psychological stress may have evolved from a real event that caused an emotional disturbance in the past. This event may have been the messy splitting up from a relationship that lead to emotional pain. As the event recedes into the past other sentiments within the persons psyche tend to cause anxiety and stress. So the person might feel unattractive to the opposite sex or lose confidence in socializing with people. These issues will cause stress for the person and can lead to other behaviors that induce stress. They may find it hard to stay focused or feel that their personality is disintegrating or get anxiety attacks. ( Adrian Whittle )

Internal Stressors

 We tend to think that stress is solely caused by external events, situations and people, yet this is not strictly correct.  Research has found that the Transactional Model of Stress is more accurate.  This model says that stress is caused by a transaction,  there is an interaction between the stressor, our view of the stressor and our perceived ability to cope with it.  Its our own internal beliefs, attitudes, interpretations, perceptions and other factors, in combination with the external events that tend to create stress.   Internal factors which influence how we perceive stress include our: ( Dr Richard Lazarus PhD)

       Beliefs        Expectations        Locus of control

       Low assertion        Low self esteem        People pleasing

       Perception        Perfectionism        Personality

Examples of Some Causes of Stress

Physical Stressors        Sleep debt        Excess/to little exercise        Poor diet        Drug misuse        Alcohol misuse        Excess heat        Excess caffeine        Chronic hyperventilation        Excess cold        Illness        Smoking        Hypoglycaemia        Lack of relaxation        Surgery        Chronic pain Psychological Stressors        Excess anger        Unrealistic beliefs        Excess pessimism        Health worries        Unrealistic expectations        Excessive worrying        Unhappy childhood        Unemployment        Financial problems        Perfectionism        Loneliness        Low self esteem        Low levels of assertion        People pleasing        Boredom        Negative self talk        Personality        Rigid thinking style        Excessive self criticism        Exams        Giving talks/presentations Environmental Stressors        Pollution        Excess noise        Poor housing        Damp conditions        Traffic jams

Work Stressors        Commuting        Time pressures        Job insecurity        Excess working hours        Workplace bullying        Company takeovers        Understaffing        Conflicts with colleagues        Low pay        Role ambiguity        Delegation problems        Lack of work recognition        Poor support/supervision        Workaholic Family Stressors        Caring for a chronically ill relative        Partner with health problems        Partner with alcohol/drug problems        Relationship difficulties        Arguments with children        Bereavement        Children leaving home Social Stressors        Fear of  crime        Living in an urban area        Poverty        Low social support        Bureaucracy/red tape        Rude, aggressive, unhelpful people        Victim of crime        Problem neighbors        Racial harassment

            HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS

Cognitive response

A cognitive response is a thought generated in response to persuasive communication  and therefore, triggers an attitude change. The way in which a cognitive response effects attitude, after being exposed to persuasive communication, has to do with the way the recipient of the communication manipulates, elaborates and integrates the information. When people are exposed to information, they relate it to pre-existing thoughts that they already have on the subject. People are of course more likely to be persuaded by messages to which they have previously thought optimistically. The cognitive response theory attempts to understand the link between the initial response to communication and the attitude change that results. The theory says that a cognitive response influences final attitude and therefore may effect behavior. (Greenwald)

 

Behavioral Response

Avoid unnecessary stress

• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
• Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
• Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Alter the situation

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
• Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.

Adapt to the stressor

• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
• Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

C. MOTIVATION

 motivation is to give reason, incentive, enthusiasm, or interest that causes a specific action or certain behavior. Motivation is present in every life function. Simple acts such as eating are motivated by hunger. Education is motivated by desire for knowledge. Motivators can be anything from reward to coercion.

There are two main kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is internal. It occurs when people are compelled to do something out of pleasure, importance, or desire. Extrinsic motivation occurs when external factors compel the person to do something. However, there are many theories and labels that serve as sub tittles to the definition of motivation. For example: "I will give you a candy bar if you clean your room." This is an example of reward motivation.( Wendy Pan , Motivational Training)

Theories of Motivation

Overview

At a simple level, it seems obvious that people do things, such as go to work, in order to get stuff they want and to avoid stuff they don't want. 

Why exactly they want what they do and don't want what they don't is still something a mystery. It's a black box and it hasn't been fully penetrated.

Overall, the basic perspective on motivation looks something like this:

In other words, you have certain needs or wants (these terms will be used interchangeably), and this causes you to do certain things (behavior), which satisfy those needs (satisfaction), and this can then change which needs/wants are primary (either intensifying certain ones, or allowing you to move on to other ones). 

A variation on this model, particularly appropriate from an experimenter's or manager's point of view, would be to add a box labeled "reward" between "behavior" and "satisfaction". So that subjects (or employees), who have certain needs do certain things (behavior), which then get them rewards set up by the experimenter or manager (such as raises or bonuses), which satisfy the needs, and so on.

Classifying Needs

People seem to have different wants. This is fortunate, because in markets this creates the very desirable situation where, because you value stuff that I have but you don't, and I value stuff that you have that I don't, we can trade in such a way that we are both happier as a result. 

But it also means we need to try to get a handle on the whole variety of needs and who has them in order to begin to understand how to design organizations that maximize productivity.

Part of what a theory of motivation tries to do is explain and predict who has which wants. This turns out to be exceedingly difficult.

Many theories posit a hierarchy of needs, in which the needs at the bottom are the most urgent and need to be satisfied before attention can be paid to the others. 

Maslow

Maslow's hierarchy of need categories is the most famous example: 

self-actualization

esteem

belongingness

safety

physiological

Specific examples of these types are given below, in both the work and home context. (Some of the instances, like "education" are actually satisfiers of the need.)

Need	Home	Job
self-actualization	education, religion, hobbies, personal growth	training, advancement, growth, creativity
esteem	approval of family, friends, community	recognition, high status, responsibilities
belongingness	family, friends, clubs	teams, depts, coworkers, clients, supervisors, subordinates
safety	freedom from war, poison, violence	work safety, job security, health insurance
physiological	food water sex	Heat, air, base salary

According to Maslow, lower needs take priority. They must be fulfilled before the others are activated. There is some basic common sense here -- it's pointless to worry about whether a given color looks good on you when you are dying of starvation, or being threatened with your life. There are some basic things that take precedence over all else. 

 

Factors That Influence Motivation at Work

1. Interest. A person will always give vent to whatever is her interest in life. A doctor who sacrificed a great deal of his pleasure in life while studying for the medical course cannot attain success in his profession if he is more inclined toward politics. Ultimately he will seek gratification in becoming a politician sooner or later.
2. Power and Authority. Some people are born to have a strong desire to be on top of the other people. Having high intelligence, great self-confidence, and belief in one’s capacity are the elements that drive people to seek power ant authority.
3. Personal Growth. Life is a continuous  process of becoming , of growing and developing . Motivation is the driving force which gives “buoyancy” in going the stage-by-stage struggle in attaining our objectives in life.
4. Self-fulfillment. This is the stage when the goals in life are attained. This can only take place at a normal pace at 45 years and above. This is the period when one has a family, a career, and many material possessions.

Full-time jobs can become monotonous. For companies to encourage their employees to stay on task and advance in their work, motivation may be an appropriate strategy. Companies that wish to use motivational strategies to influence employee work effectiveness must know the factors that can inspire employees to increase their levels of motivation at work. (Damon Verial,  Work motivation in organizational behavior)

1.    Money                                                                                                                                                                               

o    Money is one of the most important factors of work motivation. By offering higher salaries and bonuses, companies can influence workers to increase work productivity. There are many ways for a company to employ money as a motivational tool. Some methods are raises as rewards and pay cuts as punishments, the offer of overtime pay for employees who choose to stay beyond the hours for they are obliged to stay and benefits such as paid holidays and pension plans.

Trust and Honesty

o    Companies can offer their trust and honesty to employees as a cost-free method of inspiring higher rates of productivity. While simple concepts such as trust and honesty do not intuitively seem like they have the ability to motivate workers, they in fact lead to a mutual understanding between the employees and employers. This understanding is that the company is organized under a shared culture in which neither side will attempt to deceive the other. A positive work environment that supports fairness encourages workers to perform their jobs according to their responsibilities. This allows companies to avoid the phenomenon of employees evading work responsibilities as well as contributes to a sense of fairness and equality in the workplace in which every employee has equal importance. Since the idea of fairness and honesty is set by the company, this can be a useful strategy in maintaining order in the workplace.

 

Meaningfulness

o    The meaningfulness of an individual's job can influence how hard she works at that job. Companies can foster a sense of meaningfulness by providing employees information about their jobs and what the end results of their work will be. The company should also inform employees how they are an important part of the company in an internal sense--that is, the employees of a company rely on each other to create a meaningful composite result.

 

Freedom

o    Giving workers more freedom tends to lead to higher levels of motivation. In contrast, establishing new rules and policies lead to lower levels of motivation. A company can rethink its rules to decide which may be bigger barriers to freedom than are catalysts to efficiency. By doing so, companies can create a sense of freedom in the work environment, leading to a higher level of motivation in the workforce.

REFERENCE

• Adie Vanessa, Personal discipline: A success key
• Lompoc, Pathway To Happiness
• Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D
• Judy A. Laslie, Attitude Awareness
• Ajan Raghunathan, Psycohlogy4all
• www.netplace.com
• Jeanne Segal, Ph.D , Mental Health
• wikipedia.org/wiki/Stressor
• Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D. , apa.org/helpcenter
• Stress mnt for health , Vishal P. Rao
• Adrian Whittle
• Brian Luke Seaward
• Greenwald
• Wendy Pan , Motivational Training

    

CHAPTER V

EMOTIONAL ASPECTS OF PERSONALITY

EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS DEFINED

Feelings and emotion are moving powers of human beings. Anxieties and enthusiasm, apprehension, desires pleasantestand unpleasantness of life experiences elicits the power of emotion. Positive emotions results in the effectiveness and efficiency of individuals. Negative emotions result in the effectiveness and efficiency of individuals.

Emotions are stronger than feelings.

      Emotions are instincts, strong, intensive and integrated in the whole being and focused on the object of the emotions. They are internalized that they integrate body and mind.

      Feelings are concern in the external sensations of pain and pleasure through the external senses of the body, it is also a simple pleasurable or painful aspects of mental processes or bodily conditions. It is also sensations by the environment.

  Classification of Emotions

1.    Personal Emotions – based on self.

Example:

·         Self-assertion

·         Self-control

·         Self-assurance

·         Self-esteem

2.    Social Emotions – Strong feelings people have because they are part of the society they move in.

Example:

·   Sympathy

·   Empathy

·   Love for the Family

·   Patriotism

·   Pride

·   Recognition

3.    Intellectual Emotions – Based on love for the truth. People possess intellectual emotions when they develop guiding principles and philosophies, system of values and high moral standards.

Examples:

·   Novelty

·   Loftiness

4.    Aesthetic Emotions – influence by cultural background. The finer taste an outcome of one’s exposure to refinements and one’s finesse depends on his lifetime experiences, education and training.

Example:

·   Admiration

·   Appreciation

·   Sacrifice

·   Patriotism

EFFECTS OF EMOTIONS

Emotions are accompanied by glandular, muscular, mental and physical effects on human organism. Usually a person with intense emotions would have either reddish face, hair standing all over the body, profuse perspiration, trembling of legs and joints; uncontrollable tears.

1)    Unpleasant Emotions – cause by excessive secretion of glands which affects the normal functions of the body such as digestion, respiration and excretion. They also use tenseness of the muscles, higher breathing rate and faster heartbeat. The posture becomes unsteady.

2)    Pleasant Emotions – live love, joy, happiness and satisfaction and satisfaction that can arouse enthusiasm of persons, acceleration the learning process and may result in the fulfilment of the person.

3)    Strong Emotions – can block the learning process. Unmanageable strong emotions cat retard growth and development of the mind. It can thwart the learners’ acquisition knowledge.

4)    Positive Emotions – motivate a man into action when he is happy over success.

5)    Negative Emotions – shortened the span of life.

MAJOR SIGNS OF MENTAL HEALTH

1.    Maintaining self-confidence – is trusting oneself to cope with the difficulties which cross one’s way.

2.    Making Adjustments – is making oneself able to fit in almost all situations confronting him.

Tension – is always present at very beginning stage.

3.    Controlling Emotions – emotional blocks have a detrimental effect on the individuals. A person is kept from using his logical thinking when he is enveloped with emotions. He is likely to be caught off guard and with all probability, he cannot respond appropriately since he is shrouded with emotions.

4.    Positive self-concept – a high regard for oneself should be encourage and maintained. One can maintain a certain degree of respectability if he first respects himself.

Problem with Thinking as a Sign of Mental Illness

·         Has trouble concentrating, is easily distracted.

·         Can’t remember information.

·         Processes information slowly, is confused.

·         Has to work hard to solve problems.

·         Can’t think abstractedly.

Some general symptoms that may suggest a mental illness include:

In adults

·         Confused thinking

·         Long-lasting sadness or irritability

·         Extreme highs and lows in mood

·         Excessive fear, worry, or anxiety

·         Social withdrawal

·         Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits

·         Strong feelings of anger

·         Delusions or hallucinations ( seeing or hearing things that are not really there )

·         Increasing inability to cope with daily problems and activities

·         Thoughts of suicide

·         Denial of obvious problems

·         Many unexplainable physical problems\

·         Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol

In older children and pre-teens

·         Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol

·         Inability to cope with daily problems and activities

·         Changes in sleeping and/or eating habits

·         Excessive complaints of physical problems

·         Defying authority, skipping school, stealing, or damaging property

·         Intense fear of gaining weight

·         Long-lasting negative mood, often along with poor appetite and thoughts of death

·         Frequent outbursts of anger

In younger children

·         Changes in school performance

·         Poor grades despite strong efforts

·         Excessive worry or anxiety

·         Hyperactivity

·         Persistent nightmares

·         Persistent disobedience and/or aggressive behaviour

·         Frequent temper tantrums

FIVE STEPS TO HAPPINESS

1.    Laughter – give yourself and emotional and physical lift including laughter and play your life on a regular basis.

2.    Confidence – one way to happiness is to talk you lovingly towards yourself in the presence of others and to be proud of yourself in public.

3.    Tasting Risk – Every successful person agrees that risk in the pursuit of achievement. We get energy for taking risks when we face our fear and act in spite of it. Fear of failure keeps us from risking but willingness to risks is a measure of our consciousness of prosperity.

4.    Creative Boost – the following are seeds of creativity:

·   Productivity – most productive people are creative the process of working and being productive, one has the opportunity to become creative.

·   Analytical Thinking – this breaks down concepts and ideas into their component parts to understand something thoroughly, one has to see its surface structure

·   Independent Thinking – be an independent thinker. Information is collected, analysed and stored in order that one can render an independent judgment.

·   Unconventionality – different in ideas.

5.    What can one do when he wants to change but doesn’t know how:

a.    Dare to love yourself in a world that gives no guarantee.

b.    Pay attention to what you feel.

c.    Nobody can really tell you the answer to life’s problems.

d.    If what you are doing is not getting you what you want, try something different.

e.    When you are considering a specific change, make a list of all possible things that could happen.

f.     Before you change, take a few moments to compliment yourself for some specific attributes.

g.    Evaluate results.

EMOTIONS

Feelings determined our actions, and conversely, our behaviour often determines how we feel.

Emotions results from the satisfaction or non-satisfaction of a movie. Emotions are strong feelings of some kind accompanied by highly complex changes in the body itself, like, weakness, in the knees trembling and ‘funny feelings’. Emotions are reactions to either frustrations or satisfactions. If you are hungry and cannot find food, you get angry. When satisfied, however, you are happy. Man inherits his physical equipment for emotional expression, but learns the kind of emotional behaviour that he demonstrates.

Kinds of Emotions

There are pleasant emotions, such as love, feelings of accomplishments, and affection; there are also unpleasant emotions, as fear, anxiety, and anger.

LOVE. Love and affection are emotional responses which, if expressed in a positive way form the basis for many of man’s greatest achievements. Love builds tolerance, self-sacrifice, friendliness, and many other pleasant experiences. If love is used negatively, it can result in vanity, selfishness, and deteriorate into hate and jealously.

Disappointment in loved, causes hurt feelings.

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR HURT

Everyone is vulnerable at one time or another; no one can avoid all hurt. If you live life to its fullest, you’re bound to encounter disappointment and rejection. On the other hand, getting burned can help you grow into a more sensitive, caring person.

Most people associate vulnerability – the capacity to be hurt by others – with weakness or inadequacy. But there’s nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable, and there’s no reason to fight the pain. (In fact, realizing that everyone experiences hurt is likely to help you learn to deal with it better, so that what might once have been an excruciating jab becomes more like just an unpleasant pinprick.) “Vulnerability is not a bizarre state of affair, it is universal.”

Teens often experiences this kind of the first time around the ages of fourteen and fifteen, when peers begin to abandon their long friendships with the same sex to explore relationships with the opposite sex. This may cause tremendous pain for the loyal confidant who’s left behind. Or a girl may feel devastated when a boy suddenly dismisses her shortly after he has professed his love. Since teens don’t really know themselves fully, many of them tend to establish tentative relationships. This often means rejection for the person seeking a more permanent attachment.

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR ANGER

What is anger?

Anger is the flash of rage you feel when a child defies you or a lover betrays a trust. It’s the slow burn at injustice, at violent crime or venal politicians. Anger may look like a sulk, a burst of temper, the merest flicker of a frown. Or it may be scarely visible: the remark not made and the hand not raised, but the face unnaturally pale.

“Can I control my anger?”

The answer is a resounding yes and a resounding no. Yes, it’s possible to control showing your anger and a good thing too. Most of us do not chew out the policeman as he’s writing us a ticket, or talk back to the boss unless we have a job offer elsewhere. We learn to mask anger at an early age and get good at it often without even being aware that we are doing it.

But we can’t control our feelings. Feelings come and go; the patterns they make, which are evident in our behaviour, conscious and unconscious, illustrate who we are.

Although you can’t eliminate your feelings, you can temper them through acceptance. Recognizing and understanding why you feel what you feel is the first step toward mastering unruly emotion. I was once jealous and angry when a dear friend married.

CONTROL YOUR TEMPER

A temper that’s allowed to burst out in the wrong way at the wrong time and before the wrong people can make the difference between a happy life and a thoroughly miserable one. In the process, you destroy friendships, lose boyfriends, wreck relationship with teachers, and make life with parents ay home more of a hassle than it normally is.

And that can be just the beginning. Unless anger is understood and managed properly, it can accumulate inside and cause a wide range of ailments. Feelings of suppressed anger can not only play havoc on our nervous system but produce certain chemical changes in the body. Then we become candidates for such physical and emotional problems as severe headaches, stomach disorders, skin eruptions, exhaustion, nervous upsets, and depression.

                                                                  CHAPTER VI

MORAL AND SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF PERSONALITY

A.   SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS INFLUENCING MORAL BEHAVIOR

                      I.        Family

            The family is the major factor in the development of an individual. Educators and social scientist are one in their view that the family is the first socializing agent that molds the child in his earliest years so that he may be become  an accepted member of group.

           

Family is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution for the socialization of children. Anthropologists most generally classify family organization as matrilocal (a mother and her children); conjugal (a wife, husband, and children, also called nuclear family); and consanguinal (also called an extended family) in which parents and children co-reside with other members of one parent's family.

            Peers

It is a small, informal and somewhat exclusive affiliation of individuals in a face-to-face group. Members are approximately of the same age. Basis of peer group formations are interests, special attitudes, and the desire to get together with others or to do things with others.

A peer group is a primary group of people, typically informal, who share a similar or equal status and who are usually of roughly the same age, tended to travel around and interact within the social aggregate Members of a particular peer group often have similar interests and backgrounds, bonded by the premise of sameness. However, some peer groups are very diverse, crossing social divides such as socioeconomic status, level of education, race, creed, culture, or religion. Unlike the family and the school, the peer group lets children escape the direct supervision of adults. Among peers, children learn to form relationships on their own. Peer groups also offer the chance to discuss interests that adults may not share with their children (such as clothing and popular music) or permit (such as drugs and sex).

            Benefits derived from peers:

v  A sense of independence from parents.

v  Reinforcement of one’s personal importance

v  Prestige

v  Incentive to behave in a mature way

v  Satisfying sense of belongingness

v  Release of emotional tensions in a friendly climate

v  Development of social skills

Methods on how parents make their child develop in peer group

v  Making sure that the child was paying attention to the comment or instruction before it was delivered.

v  Giving the child plenty of choices in play activities so that motivation remains high

v  Verbally reinforcing any attempts with social interaction (e.g., “great throw”)

v   Providing many different examples of appropriate play and social interaction, including verbal statements (e.g., “this game is fun!”);

v  Encouraging conversation by withholding the preferred activity or object until the child produces a verbal response related to the activity (e.g., the child may be required to say “let’s play ball”);

v  Encouraging additional conversation by talking about tangibles in the room (e.g., “I like pizza, do you like to eat pizza or ice cream?); and

v  Describing the play activity that is taking place (e.g., while opening the cabinet, the peer says “I’m going to make some cookies”).

Types of groups

Primary groups

According to Charles Horton Cooley (1864–1929), a primary group is a small social group whose members share personal and lasting relationships. People joined in primary relationships spend a great deal of time together, engage in a wide range of activities, and feel that they know one another well. In short, they show real concern for one another. In every society, the family is the most important primary group. Groups based on lasting friendships are also primary groups.

Secondary groups

 in contrast to primary groups, are large groups involving formal and institutional relationships. Secondary relationships involve weak emotional ties and little personal knowledge of one another. Most secondary groups are short term, beginning and ending without particular significance.[12] They may last for years or may disband after a short time. The formation of primary groups happens within secondary groups.

Some examples of types of groups include the following:

Peer group

A peer group is a group with members of approximately the same age, social status, and interests. Generally, people are relatively equal in terms of power when they interact with peers.

 Clique

   A group of people that have many of the same interests & commonly found in a High School/College setting; most of the time they have a name & rules for themselves.

   Club

  A club is a group, which usually requires one to apply to become a member. Such clubs may be dedicated to particular activities: sporting clubs, for example.

 Household

 All individuals who live in the same home. Anglophone culture may include various models of household, including the family, blended families, share housing, and group homes.

Community

 A community is a group of people with a commonality or sometimes a complex net of overlapping commonalities, often–but not always–in proximity with one another with some degree of continuity over time.

Franchise

An organization which runs several instances of a business in many locations.

Gang

  A gang is usually an urban group that gathers in a particular area. It is a group of people that often hang around each other. They can be like some clubs, but much less formal. They are usually known in many countries to cause social unrest and also have negative influence on the members and may be a target for the law enforcers in case of any social vices.

 Mob

A mob is usually a group of people that has taken the law into their own hands. Mobs are usually groups which gather temporarily for a particular reason.

Posse

A posse was originally found in English common law. It is generally obsolete, and survives only in America, where it is the law enforcement equivalent of summoning the militia for military purposes. However, it can also refer to a street group.

 Squad

  This is usually a small group, of around 3 to 15 people, who work as a team to accomplish their goals.

 Dyad

This is a social group with two members. Social interaction in a dyad is typically more intense than in larger groups because neither member shares the other's attention with anyone else.

 Triad

 This is a social group with three members, which contains three relationships, each uniting two of the three people. A triad is more stable than a dyad because one member can act as a mediator should the relationship between the other two become strained.

Team

 Similar to a squad, though a team may contain many more members. A team works in a similar way to a squad.

In-group

 It is a social group toward which a member feels respect and loyalty.

It is a group that an individual identifies in positive direction. If a person is part of the in-group then they are collectively part of an inner circle of friends. An inner circle may contain sub-groups within the inner circle including the apex (best friends), core (very close friends), outer rim, etc. This group provides a support structure and being exclusive offers protection from anyone in an Out-group.

Out-group

 It is a social group toward which a person feels a sense of competition or opposition.

                    II.        Schools

            One of the most important aims of education in the Philippines is to develop moral character and personal discipline. Teachers are expected to impart moral and spiritual values. Moral training is in cooperated in the curriculum, especially in the elementary grades and high school. Is an institution designed for the teaching

of students under the direction of teachers. In these systems, students progress through a series of schools. As the child grows, normally the child is sent to school. This is inevitable particularly in this advantage world. As what we learn teachers are the second parents. This child spends more time in school than being at home during school days. The child deals with the classmates, meets new friends, but mostly importantly, the child is under the control of the teacher. All these take place in the school. Thus another aspect of development arises, that is, the contribution of the school.

                   III.        Church

The church is also an agent for social control. Most of those who go to church and prayer meetings are more likely to develop good morals than those who do not. A building or structure to facilitate worship and the meeting of its members, particularly in Christianity. The individual must have the right to life and liberty, otherwise, his life is not his own. He becomes the slave to a “moral doughtiness’”.

Illustration:

         

         Family                                                                              Peers

         

                               School                                                                        Church

B.   APPROACHES IN THE MORAL BEHAVIOR

1.    Psychoanalytic approach

Expresses the idea that when the super ego dominates the individual, he is good because he has a conscience that tells him to be good. Psychoanalytic approach understands us from the point of view of our unconscious and early childhood experiences.

Focuses on the importance of the unconscious mind (not the conscious mind). In other words, psychoanalytic perspective dictates that behavior is determined by your past experiences that are left in the unconscious mind (people are unaware of them). This perspective is still based on Freud’s psychoanalytic perspective about early experiences being so influential on current behavior, but the focus on sex is not as great.

Because psychoanalytic theories have been developed outside the realm of literature, they are not tied to a specific aesthetic theory and are frequently coupled with other schools of literary criticism (e.g., feminist psychoanalytic criticism, reader-response psychoanalytic criticism, etc.).

2.    Learning-Theory approach

Says that we have been trained and discipline by our upbringing and by the examples of our parents into having the way we should.

Can be applied to any environment where any social phenomenon occurs. Social learning theory includes distinct factors facilitating social learning: labeling theory, observational learning and socialization. Furthermore, businesses, governments and guerrilla marketing tactics can implement social learning theory to satisfy their agendas.

3.    Social-group approach

Claims that we behave the way we do because people expect us to behave that way.

This two or more humans who interact with one another, share similar characteristics and collectively have a sense of unity, although the best way to define social group is a matter of conjecture. Regardless, a society can be viewed as a large group, though most social groups are considerably smaller. Society can also be viewed as people who interact with one another, sharing similarities pertaining to culture and territorial boundaries.

4.    Cognitive-development approach

Asserts that to behave morally

Implies intelligent adaptations to our environment. It emphasizes the importance of intelligence in moral control. The more intelligent a person is, the stronger he is morally.

Cognitive development is a comprehensive theory about the nature and development of human intelligence first developed by Jean Piaget. It is primarily known as a developmental stage theory, but in fact, it deals with the nature of knowledge itself and how humans come gradually to acquire, construct, and use it. Moreover, Piaget claims the idea that cognitive development is at the centre of human organism and language is contingent on cognitive development. Below, there is first a short description of Piaget's views about the nature of intelligence and then a description of the stages through which it develops until maturity.

C.   CHRISTIAN MORALITY

Morality

            Is primarily concerned with the rightness or wrongness of the act.

An act is said to be immoral if the doer has the intention to kill, harm, destroy somebody. (finley & Pennock, 1977).

Morality can mean “moral behavior”. The word immoral is hardly used since it has received an almost exclusively sexual connotation. Immorality in the general sense of anti moral behavior is possible only in a limited way.

           

                        Points Christian Morality:

1.    Christians are daily bombard with unchristian views to man. This can affect us and make us act towards others in unchristian ways.

2.    Based on the natural law and divine revelation, Christianity maintains that each person is fundamentally good, redeemable and loved by good. It holds that each man and woman, whether he or she knows it, is potentially a child of God and a brother or sister of Jesus Christ and of each other.

3.    Man is free creature who is responsible for his freedom. He is able to respond with love to the demands brother and sister place on him. He is intimately related to Christ and shows his love of God by responding to the teachings of Jesus under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

4.    The subjective form of morality is one’s conscience. A person has to follow his or her conscience, but he or she has the duty to develop a properly formed conscience. Conscience is an inner dialogue with God which enables a person to discover responsible behavior.

Most Filipinos are Christians. A Christian is called upon to see everyone in the light of God’s love which embraces all people everywhere. This respect for the lives of others must extend even in enemies.

            Christians taught to hate the evil deed but never to hate the one who committed. The teachings of God guide the lives of men. They are found in religious books, in the bible, one of the religious box, we can find beautiful passages that can improve our personality.

D.   THE NATURE OF MAN

The complexities of man’s life are better understood through understanding

of mans nature. Man has dual nature, composed not only of body but also of soul. He occupies the position far higher than that of brute creation because he is a soul, which is the principle of life and vital action. It is a principle by which man lives and moves, perceives and understands. Man surpasses all other earthly creatures by the unique fact of possessing a soul endowed with the intellect and the will. The soul is so united to the body that through it the body receives and possesses subsistence and life. (Kelly, 1968).

Chapter VII

HUMAN RELATIONS

·         Human relations as fitting people into work situations so as to motivate them to work together harmoniously. The process of fitting together should achieve higher levels of productivity for the organization, while also bringing employees economic, psychological, and social satisfaction. Human relations cover all types of interactions among people-their conflicts, cooperative efforts, and group relationships. It is the study of why our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors sometimes cause interpersonal conflict in our personal lives and in work-related situations.

·         Human Relations is your influence with people around you with the patterns of lifestyle, attitudes, behavior, feelings, motivation, sharing and giving, ect. In short, different aspects of your personality, making a MAGNETIC YOU! The basic insight into human nature is important and can be categorized as follows:

Human relationship-a relation between people ;( relationship’ is often used where Relation would serve as in the relationship between inflation and unemployment, but the preferred usage of relationship is for human relations or states or relatedness) “the relationship between mothers and their children”

Different Character: All posses different kind of character, whether good or bad. This is because of their continuous influence on their surroundings right from the birth to levels of their understanding. All have their ups and downs and so; one has to understand through sympathetic imagination, posses the abilities to feel others problems, joys, thrills, sorrow and above all, nature.

Emotionally Sociable: Be kind, caring, thoughtful person. It shows your quality of goodness, friendliness, loving and cooperative self. People see what you show yourself, the genuineness, originality, and eternal outer surface of your heart. Your built up image reflects your mind and your actions speak louder than words.

Concerned Nature: Your concern over feelings of others is always appreciated and is the basic forces for their liking towards you. Criticism should have no stand in one’s life and is raw, dishearten, discouraging and just smudged reaction to let down a person. Criticism is your inferior complex, popping up on surface, an ego to boost your own self. Love, affection, Appreciation in turn, makes you feel important, liked and above all, a best among the rest.

Ideals and Inspirations: These are the qualities that motivate to show the surging potentials within you. They rise your spirits to swing in action and gear for a set of desired goals reaching the attaining heights of superiority and success. Encouragement builds confidence and plays a major role from the start. The conscious within stirs the souls with the ideals and thereby Inspirations generate the will to push ahead the lifetime Karmas for a nonchalant achievement.

Wisdom of Acceptance: Our basic concept of accepting people is “Beware- No blind conviction please” which true in modern times yet, unfortunate attitude misguiding the human mind. Strangers too, are humans with equally a static life with ups and downs turning their moods and attitude. A kind, caring affectionate goodness with sympathetic imagination and ability to feel others joy and thrills. A problem builds an acceptance of a person with insights of human behavioral patterns.

Forgiveness: The shaken and strained state of mind with resentment experiences bitterness and frustration. Forgiveness to the guilty relaxes and ease’s the stress and relations. The sympathetic forgiveness, true from the heart brings peace and happiness. The emotional set back turns to normalcy with realization of shame and guilt, gathering up oneself from shattered hopes of despair.

Sharing and Giving: When you squander for yourself, you become a victim of selfish mind but selflessness sharing and giving, in terms of your ideas, time, energy, talent, money, belongings will reach you heights anew with aliveness and joys of living. A luxurious living hurts inside with loneliness and malign feelings but, initiated feelings of sharing and giving will add to peace, joy and prosperity, the true art of living.

Religious Nature: Being an atheist brings out a human in you. Divine contact brings vision for future. Abilities are blossomed with renewed hope, faith and trust. It makes a deeper person with more understandings of humanity. The blurred visibilities are clear as reflections of religious feelings gives strength and courage to face challenges of life.

Communication: Good communication may be cited as the most important component of sound human relations. Despite the recognition of the importance of communication, it presents one of the most difficult and perplexing faced in modern organizations.

·          The very heart of human relations that bridges gaps towards closeness. Communication can be words, gestures or from the core of the heart. Sorrows, joy, dreams, success, failures and so on are the basic human conversational topics in different forms. Personal feelings are vital exposures and should be shared deeply for a strong bond of relationship. The very absence of communication would leave one alone morose and broken hearted.

True is your beauty in body and Soul if you understand the Art of living with the basics of Human Relations and then one is able to build a better Personality.

An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relation, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, club, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF HUMAN RELATIONS

1)    SPEAK TO PEOPLE- There is nothing as nice a cheerful word of greeting.

2)    SMILE AT PEOPLE-It takes 65 to 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to 15 to smile.

3)    CALL PEOPLE BY NAME-The sweetest music to anyone’s ear is the sound of their own names.

4)    BE FRIENDLY AND HELPFUL- If you would have friends, be friendly.

5)    BE CORDIAL-Speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure.

6)    BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN PEOPLE- You can like everybody if you try.

7)    BE GENEROUS WITH PRAISE- Continuous with criticism.

8)    BE CONSIDERATE WITH THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS- It will be appreciated and there are usually three sides to a controversy; yours, the other persons, and the right side.

9)    BE ALERT TO GIVE SERVICE-  What counts most in life is what we do for others.

10)  ADD TO THIS a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR- A big dose of patience and a dash of humility and you will be awarded many- fold.

HUMAN RELATIONS INFLUENCES

FAMILY

            The family is the smallest unit of society. It is the microcosm which is enlarged into a national community or government. The parents are the employees as in a company.

FRIENDS

            Good friends are our treasures and investment. We invest in friendships when we offer and render them our thoughtfulness, ideas, love, care, and concern. Friends tend to reciprocate the good things done to them. This process makes friendship among people lasting.

COMMUNITY

            The community is the place where we spend the rest of our waking hours outside the place of work. Good attitude and enthusiasm are contagious and can contaminate people in the community. Cox said, ``Enthusiasm reflects confidences, spreads good cheer, raises morale, inspires associate, arouses loyalty laughs adversity… It is beyond price. ``Enthusiasm therefore can help us eliminate jealousy envy, rivalry, and intrigues.

The Human Relation Approach: Basic Principles

            The basic principles of the human relation approach are as follows:

1)    Decentralization- The strict notion of hierarchy employed by classical management theorist is replaced with the idea that individual workers and functional areas should be given greater anatomy and decision making power. This requires greater emphasis on lateral communication so that coordination of efforts and resources can occur. This communication occurs via informal communication channels rather than the formal, hierarchical ones.

2)    Participatory Decision-Making—Decision-making is participatory in the sense that those making decisions in a day-to-day basis include line workers not normally considered to be ``management”. The greater anatomy afforded individual employees—and subsequent reduction in ``height” and increase in span of control of the organizational structures—requires that they have the knowledge and ability to make their own decisions and the communication skill to coordinate their efforts with others without a nearby supervisor.

3)    Concern for Developing Self-motivated Employees—The emphasis on a system of decentralized and autonomous decision- making by the members of the organization requires that those members be highly  ``self-motivated”(that is able to set their own task related goals and monitor their own performance in achieving them). So one goal of managers in such an organization is to design and implement organizational structures that reward such self-motivation and autonomy. Another is to negotiate working relationship with subordinates that foster effective communication in both directions.

Seven ways to become interesting

            “By becoming more interesting one can add fun, excitement, and enjoyment to one’s life,” declared Jull Varness, associate professor or health science and education at the University of Florida. Here are her suggestions for becoming a more interesting individual.

·         Volunteer your time to a worthy organization.

·         Try an activity one does not ordinarily do. Walk barefoot in the rain, explore the nature of Verde Island, etc. deliberation inhibits us from putting our hunches and then devote as much time and energy as possible to that pursuit.

·         Pamper a pet. People find animals fascinating.

·         Try new foods. The exotic taste of new foods satisfies curiosity.

·         Read magazine. Your conversations will become more invigorating when you inject fascinating things you’ve been reading about.

·         Smile and laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Show people that you enjoy life.

·         Get other people to talk about themselves. Studies have shown that when someone gets another person to talk about a favorite hobby, the person doing the listening is considered more interesting.

Seven ways that will help you become smarter person  

1)    Brain exercises. Exercise of the brain is as exercise of the muscles. The human brain is able to continually adapt and rewire itself, even at old age, it can grow new neurons. Severe mental decline is usually caused by diseases, whereas most age-related losses in memory or motor skills simply result from inactivity and a lack of mental exercise and stimulation. In other words, use it or lose it. And this is your chance to use it, in this brain exercise.

2)    Good brain foods. The brain is an organ metabolically active, making it very hungry, and precisely at this eater. It’s becoming pretty clear in research labs around country that right food, or the natural neurochemicals that they contain, can enhance mental capabilities-help you concentrate, tune sensor motor skill, keep you motivated, magnify memory, speed reaction time, defuse stress, perhaps even prevent brain aging.

3)    Always learn something new. Make a conscious effort to keep your brain active and functioning at optimum levels. Learn a new vocabulary word or new piece of information as often you can. It will keep you sharp and alert.

4)    Read quality books. Many people like to read popular suspense fiction, but generally these books aren’t mentally stimulating. If you want to improve your thinking and writing ability you should read book that make you focus. Reading a classic novel can change your view of the world and will make you think in more precise, elegant English. Don’t be afraid to look up a word if you don’t know it, and don’t be afraid of dense passages. Make sure the books are interesting to you. Reading is very fun and useful.

5)    Reduce television watching. The average American watchers over 4 ½ hours of television every single day. People love vegetating in front of the television. The problem is watching television doesn’t use your mental capacity or allow it to recharge. Also, you watch T.V when you’re too tired to do anything else. When you feel like relaxing, try reading a book instead… When you’re with your friends or family, leave the tube off and have a conversation. All of these things use your mind more than television and allow you to relax.

6)    Learn a foreign language. Learning a second language “boots” brain-power, scientists believe. Researchers from University College London studied the brains of 105 people- 80 of whom where bilingual.

7)    Meditation is a very powerful tool for becoming smarter. Deep meditation opens up real intelligence, intuition, and creativity. Psychological (mind) benefits of meditation: increased patience, rapid calming of the mind, mood stabilization, improved learning ability, and memory, strengthening of willpower.

How to create your own charisma

·         Confidence is vital. Self-confidence radiates from the individual. It can contaminate others. It is easier from an individual to convince others when he himself believes in what he is saying.

·         Happy people are far more charismatic than miserable ones. Emotional security is felt by a person who is loved, has a supportive family, and has a good grasp of his emotions and feelings.

·         Being assertive enables one to stand on his own feet. Everyone has the right to express himself and let others know that he exists as an individual with the right to be heard and to stand up for his principles.

·         Be interested to others. Have the patience to get to know others thoroughly. Other people are part of our resources. Almost fifty percent of our learning comes from our interactions with others.

·         Spontaneity: avoid spending too much time thinking over what you are to say. Sometimes over deliberation inhibits us from putting our hunches and intuitions into actions.

·         Make the most of your talents. Decide what you can do best and enjoy most, and then devote as much time and energy as possible to that pursuit.

·         Action: Be more of a doer than a mere onlooker. Identify the causes of your inactivity and make certain they are reasons rather than excuses.

Work on these seven key principles, and charisma will bloom.

How to achieve good human relations

The following may help as achieve good human relations:

Ø  Be a good listener. Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.

Ø  Never forget to say a kind and encouraging word to about somebody. Praise good work done, regardless of who did it. If criticism is to be done, criticize helpfully, never spitefully.

Ø  Be interested in others and be interested in their welfare.

Ø  Communicate cheerfulness. Keep the corners of your mouth turned up.

Ø  Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Ø  Discourage gossip and make it a rule to say nothing about another unless it is something good.

Ø  Do things to make people feel important.

The “Ostrich Complex”

            You can stop being a head-in-the-sand ostrich and learn to deal with your problems with simple tips from an expert.

            The “Ostrich complex” is a habit of handling problems by avoiding them or pretending they do not exist, “explains Dr. Elliot Weiner, a clinical psychologist in Lake Oswego, Oregon.

            Weiner, the author of the “The Ostrich Complex,” says the syndrome shows itself in four diff. ways.

Ø  Procrastination- not facing a problem by putting it off.

Ø  Perfectionism- refusing to take an action if you can’t get everything to come out perfectly.

Ø  Denial- pretending that the problem simply does not exist.

Ø  Collecting- acting as though you’re disregarding little irritants but actually storing them up for an inevitable explosion.

Here are techniques Weiner suggest freeing yourself of Ostrich-like behavior:

Ø  Treat your problem objectively, as though they were happening to somebody else.

Ø  Advertise your problem to others and appeal for help if necessary.

Ø  If you’re a perfectionist, try being late for a meeting, or deliberately make a spelling error in a report. “You’ll prove life is not going to fall apart if there are mistakes,” Weiner says.

Ø  Don’t try to do everything yourself. Delegate lesser duties and chores so that you can grapple with the most important issue. Dump secondary problems, or delay dealing with them for a day or two.

Ø  Divide your goal into manageable stages, and handle them one at a time.

Ø  Don’t simmer unproductively all day long. Set aside a time to get rid of anger through a wholesome safety valve like exercise.

Ø  Write a letter to express how upset you set--- but don’t send it. Putting your thoughts down on paper will help you release your trapped feelings and face your problems squarely.

Ø  Relax and try to imagine the best and the worst possible scenarios to solve your problem. Then think of the one that is most likely to happen. Weiner says,” This way you won’t  be scared easily into running away,”

Ø  Define the problem in a memo and attach it to a symbol of the problem itself.” For example,” Weiner says, “If you don’t want to make a certain phone call, stick the memo on the telephone.