CHAPTER
1
PERSONALITY
DEVELOPMENT
A
new born baby is considered a tabula rasa,
an empty sheet or an empty tablet. As he grows up he begins to fill up his
sheet by gathering experiences to the place where he live. He begins to make
his life and begins to mold his identity. In order to cope with anything
outside the womb personality is the one of the major requirement.
Personality is
the sum total of the qualities and characteristics of a person as shown in her
manner of walking, dressing and her attitudes, interest and ways of reacting to
other people. It refers to all the factors within the person that influence his
characteristics, ways of behaving, thinking and feeling. It is your image on
others. It is also typical pattern of thinking, feeling and behaviors that make
a person unique.
ASPECTS OF AN INDIVIDUAL’S
PERSONALITY
1.
Physical aspect – This includes the mode of dressing,
manner of walking, posture, body build, health, complexion and facial
expression.
2.
Intellectual/Mental aspect – refers to
intellectual capacity. How person talks, the range of ideas he expresses, and
the things he talks about, as well as his values and mental alertness give
evidence of his mental capacity.
3.
Emotional aspect – A person’s emotional
makeup is shown in his likes and dislikes, whether he is aggressive or docile,
how he responds when things become difficult, how quickly he is given to anger,
whether he can take a job or not. Emotional behavior is interrelated with
others aspect as child’s growth. As he grows older, His emotions become
differentiated.
4.
Social aspect – This is seen in how people
conducts himself with other people and how well he observes the rules of
etiquette that govern society. Social attitudes and behavior are affected by
physiological conditions and changes, mental alertness, and the extent of
emotional maturity.
Factors Affecting Social
Development
The
social development of an individual is affected by several factors such as:
1. Socio-economic status
The
higher the socio economic status, the higher is the cultural background of
family members.
2. Level
of maturity
The
child will determine the level of assimilation he can do, given a social
situation. A psychologists state, the higher the intelligence, the higher is
the level of maturity of the individual.
3. Family
cultural background
The
family as the basic unit of society provides the laboratory for the
socialization of the child. The style of life in the areas of socialization is
a strong determinant for a child’s foundation as far as social development is
concern.
5.
Value system – This includes a person’s
attitudes, values, beliefs and philosophy in life. This aspect referred to us
as CHARACTER. It shown in the way we
judge whether our actions and actions of others are right or wrong.
6.
Spiritual aspect – is the consciousness of
the higher values in life. Religions expresses spiritual value
COMPONENTS OF PERSONALITY
1.
HABITS – are actions so often repeated at
regular intervals until they become fixed characteristics.
EX:
going to church every Sunday, brushing one’s teeth after every meal etc…
2.
ATTITUDES – are certain ways of viewing
things as ingrained, acquired, and developed through the years of exposure to
man’s family, school, and community.
3.
INTEREST – is that natural inclination to
focus one’s concern towards a specific area of work.
4.
VALUES - Are ways of upholding certain
priorities in accordance with the hierarchy of needs by Abraham Maslow.
5.
PRINCIPLES - are guides to a person in making
Judgement. The individual is consistent in his application of these principles
which are in consonance with his norms of morality.
PERSONALITY
DIFFERENCES
1. Heredity –
process of transmitting biological traits from parent to offspring through
genes. It is also refers to the inherited characteristics of an individual,
including traits such as height, eye color or blood type.
2. Environment –
This consist of our family, school, church social group and other group with
whom we interact from the very beginning. Each group put pressure on us and we
behave in certain ways as result of being these groups. Our behavior changes
with each situation and with the people we are with.
3. Experiences –
These consist of everything we do or get in touch with. In everything that we
are exposed whether physical, emotional or social experiences.
REASONS
FOR STUDYING PERSONALITY
Through our understanding of our own
personalities of our fellowmen that will spell the differences between success
and failure in our dealings with others. The study of this should result to our
attempts to improve our own personality as well as to understand others so that
we can adjust to them and have harmonious relations with them.
REASONS
FOR DEVELOPING PERSONALITY
The
development of our personality is our great responsibility. Some reasons why
there is a need for developing personality are:
1. Social acceptance – it
is the third need in the Filipino
hierarchy of needs. The desire to be treated in accordance with one’s status.
2.
Self-satisfaction
– a
happy person meets the bad temper and unkind dispositions of others with
understanding and good humor.
3.
Self-confidence
– elicits
positive feelings which are necessary for mental health. We develop negative
feelings like feelings of inferiority when we are aware that are personality is
not as good as of others.
4.
To
keep ourselves on the job – personality has a great deal
to do with holding a job.
DEVELOPING
ONE’S PERSONALITY
Although heredity sets the limit of
one’s development in personality, the environment provides the greater
influence. The individual determines how he can maximize the development of his
personality though the opportunities available to him in:
1. Self
awareness – Indicates what kind of person you are. Our nature should be openly
accepted by us so that our baseline data is actual and realistic.
2. Assessment
of personal asset and liabilities – based on the factors such as intelligence,
talents, industriousness, resourcefulness, flexibilities, and physical
attractiveness.
3. Personal
growth – can take off from self-awareness and personal asset and liabilities.
Growing and learning continuously and consistency means total development.
4. Personal
effectiveness – means how useful you are, not only to yourself but also to
other people. “No one is an island”, as a saying goes. One cannot live alone in
a room and exempt himself from problems and challenges in society.
TECHNIQUES
IN DEVELOPING PERSONALITY
There are four steps to developing
personality. These are the following:
1. Realize
that improvement is needed.
2. Have
a strong motive or desire to improve.
3. Take
an inventory or make a checklist of strong and weak points of what is to be
improved.
4. Have
a step-by step procedure.
SOME
TIPS TO DEVELOP THE PERSONALITY
1. Be a better listener
Take time to listen with
others story.
2.
Read
more and expand your interest
The more you read and cultivate new interest, the more
interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the
opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.
3.
Be a
good conversationalist
This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have
much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others.
4.
Have
an opinion
There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to
someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you
have nothing to expound on. However if
you have an uncommon point of view or different opinion, you are interesting
and stimulating to be in the company.
5.
Meet
new people
Make the effort to meet new people especially these
unlike you. It not only expose you to different cultures an alternative ways of
doing things. It broadens your horizons.
6.
Be
yourself
The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is
trying to be something you’re not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be
accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that unique
is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of some else not
only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.
7.
Have
a positive outlook and attitude
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain
a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see coming.
Instead, be kind the nothing of upbeat person who lights up a room with you
energy when we enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things.
Smile warmly, spread good cheer and enliven others with your presence.
8.
Be
fun and see the humorous side of life
Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them
laugh or smile. Look for the humorous or quirky side in a situation – there
always one. When you are fun and lighthearted people are naturally attracted to
you
9.
Be
supportive of others
Be supportive is probably the most endearing quality you
can integrate you’re your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the
support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner;
someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we’re down
10. Have Integrity and treat other people
with respect
Being honest and true to your word will bring you the
admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person’s
personality more than integrity and respect- respect others as well as respect
yourself.
BEAUTY
This is
the innate quality of a person. it also a way of being a manner of acting and a
way of looking. To achieved balanced beauty the inner and outer must be blend
to be joined by an ability to love and to be loved, by an awareness and
curiosity about life, by intelligence and happiness, social grace and by
self-expressions through all bodily movements- beauty is made, not born.
Outer
beauty – People meet the outer you before they are able to meet
the inner you.
·
The outer
packaging – consist of physical beauty and general appearance through
clothing, accessories, make-up and hair style as well as shape and condition of
the body.
·
Personal attractiveness and the outer
behavior, poise and education.
·
Total image that determines just how handsome
or beautiful a person is.
·
Physical attractiveness, which includes
physical factors, such as health, youthfulness, facial symmetry and complexion.
Inner
beauty – To think is to be beautiful.
·
An attitude by which to live and an image to
project.
·
It requires self-analysis, goal setting,
commitment discipline and perseverance.
·
Learn to recognize strength and weakness, the
good and bad qualities and then decide what to be done.
·
Inner beauty is calm, serene, optimistic,
poised and self-confident which will be reflected in posture, face and voice.
LIKING YOURSELF
It is essential to be beauty is to like and love
yourself. Respect and love your unique self. It is only when you begin to love
yourself that you will become an interesting person. The rewards of these are
outward poise and inward confidence. Confidence brightens our eyes, strengthens
our posture and brings a smile our lips.
Liking yourself doesn’t
mean you’re full of pride, it simply means you accept yourself as the person
God created you to be. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to
like you too. We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as
God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy
person.
Chapter
II
Physical
Aspect of Personality
Physical Health and Hygiene
Ø The maintenance of
good physical health is attained through physical hygiene is the maintenanceof
personal cleanliness and sanitation of the body . Daily exercise , daily bath ,
daily climination habits , eight glasses of drinking water , test and sleep , a
well balanced diet , sun shine and air free from pollutions are the things
needed to be a physically fit individual .
Ø Physical well being
is the basis for the efficient and enjoyable performance of every activity in
which you engage. To achieve maximum physical well being you need adequate
medical care , per diet and
elimination , sufficient exercise rest and sleep and good habits of posture .
Ø Like any machine ,
the human body wears out in time. The care or the abuse that you give your body
can slow or speed its gradual deteriotation .
Choosing a balanced diet
Ø For many people the
word “diet” means only a reducing program . But by definition “diet” is the
kind of food on which a person live . To regulate or restrict the food and
drink ; To eat discriminately .
Ø In fact , a well
balanced diet is absolutely essential to godd health.
There are six major
nutrients needed by a body
1.)Proteins –
Provide the food elements for building or replacing worn out tissues.
Ex. meat, eggs, fish,
cheese, peas and beans
2.)Carbohydrates –
Provide energy, supply the body with quick energy and health.
Ex. Sweet and starchy
food such as bread, cereals, macaroni and potatoes.
3.)Minerals - Regulating
nervous system irritability, determining strength soundness of bones and teeth
and controlling functioning of some the glands.
Ex. Milk, eggs,
fruits and vegetables
4.)Fat - fat
is an essential nutrient that provides you with energy and helps to promote
overall health. Fat can be monounsaturated, saturated or polyunsaturated.
Monounsaturated fats and polyunsaturated fats are found in some pressed oils,
Ex. Avocados , nuts , cheese , meats
Ex. Avocados , nuts , cheese , meats
5.)Vitamins - Vitamins are organic substances which your body requires
to function at its best. Vitamins are either water-soluble or fat-soluble,
depending on what is needed to be combined with them for your body to be able
to absorb them. Vitamins A, D, E and K are fat-soluble, while vitamin C and B
vitamins such as vitamin B-12 and riboflavin must be dissolved in water before
your body can process them. Vitamins serve a multitude of purposes. The
fat-soluble vitamins are stored in your body and help maintain the quality of
your skin, hair and eyes, and also promote healthy cell development. Vitamin C
can improve your immune system, and B vitamins promote healthy red blood-cells.
6.)Water - Water
is the most important nutrient, and is necessary for your body and organs to
function. Water occurs naturally, and can be consumed if it is fresh and
purified.
Ex. Watermelon, apples and tomatoes are high in water content.
Ex. Watermelon, apples and tomatoes are high in water content.
Daily care of the eyes might
include such as :
1.)
Simple exercise as look off into the distance.
2.)
Closing the eyes momentarily
3.)
Having proper light to read by .
Care for the ear
Ø The
ears also deserve regular attention and care .
1.)
keep hard pointer articles out of ears
2.)
Remove wax in the ear used fewdrops of warm water , glycerine or
oil to loosen it, then remove it carefully with a piece of clean cotton or a
swap.
Care of hair
Ø Hair
is our crowning glory. Take proper care of your hair and they will in return
compliment your personality, The ff. are things to remember in taking of the
hair.
1.)
Always comb the hair gently to prevent breakage.
2.)
Shampoo it twice a day or once a week.
3.)
Split ends are caused by dryness . Cut them off .
4.)
Baldness and dandruff need more soalp stimulation . Baldness
should referred to a dermatologist.
Care of the nails
Ø Take
a close look at your fingernails. Are they strong and healthy looking? Or do
you see ridges, dents, or areas of unusual color or shape? Many less than
desirable nail conditions can be avoided through proper fingernail care. Others
indicate an underlying condition that requires attention.
Fingernails:
Do's and don'ts for healthy nails
To
keep your fingernails looking their best, follow these simple guidelines.
Do:
v Keep your fingernails
dry and clean. This prevents
bacteria, fungi and other organisms from growing under your fingernails. Wear
cotton-lined rubber gloves when washing dishes, cleaning or using harsh
chemicals, and avoid long soaks in the tub.
v Trim and file your
fingernails regularly. Use a sharp manicure
scissors or clippers. Trim your nails straight across, then round the tips in a
gentle curve. It might be easiest to trim and file your fingernails when
they're soft, such as after bathing.
v Use moisturizer. When you use hand
lotion, rub the lotion into your fingernails and cuticles, too.
Don't:
v Abuse your
fingernails. To prevent nail
damage, don't use your fingernails as tools to pick, poke or pry things.
v Bite your fingernails
or pick at your cuticles. These habits can
damage the nail bed. Even a minor cut alongside your fingernail can allow
bacteria or fungi to enter and cause an infection.
v Pull off hangnails. You might rip live
tissue along with the hangnail. Instead, carefully clip off hangnails.
v Ignore problems. If you have a nail
problem that doesn't seem to go away on its own or is associated with other
signs and symptoms, consult your doctor or dermatologist for an evaluation.
Grooming
and Harmony
Ø Good gooming means appropriate clothes on the
appropriate and the self . A well groomes individual smells clean and looks
clean. Basic good includes being very careful in ones choice of dress and
accessories such as jewelry and accents, shoes, bags, color combination and
style . All of these elements should harmonize with one another.
Dressing
Ø Clothing is for protection, comfort, modesty and
enhancement of your beauty the ff. are essential in buying dresses:
1.)
Good fit
2.)
Good workmanship
3.)
Good Material
Lines in Clothes
Ø
A clothes
line or washing line is any type of rope, cord, or twinethat
has been stretched between two points (e.g. two sticks), outside or indoors,
above the level of the ground. Clothing that has recently been washed is hung
along the line to dry, using clothes pegs orclothes pins. Washing lines are attached either from a
post or a wall, and are frequently located in back gardens, or on balconies. Longer washing lines often have props
holding up sections in the middle due to the weight of the clothing.
Dress for Men
Ø Too many young men are
starting their professional lives without a clue as to how to dress.
This needs to change;
young men are the future leaders of society and dressing professionally is the
first step towards becoming professional.
And although clothing
does not make the man – the right clothing can give him precious seconds to
make his case and influence others.
How to shop intelligenty :
1.)
Learn to know materials
2.)
Recognize woolens and worsteds
3.)
Examine the lining
4.)
Study lapels and shoulders
5.)
Inspect pockets and leams
6.)
Check for matering plaids or stripes
Wise buying
Ø Wise
buying includes a number of factors :
1.)
Knowing what to buy
2.)
Knowing when to buy
3.)
Weighing cost against value
4.)
Taking time for correct fit
Dress for women
Brunswick
A
three-quarter length jacket worn with a petticoat, the Brunswick was an
informal gown or a traveling gown. It had a high neck, unstiffened bodice that
buttoned, long sleeves, and frequently had a sack back (loose pleats) and a
hood. (See also Jesuit)
Cap
The cap
was worn by women and girls to dress their heads. It was a practical piece that
allowed the head to be dressed without styling the hair. At the same time it
protected the hair from everyday dust and dirt so that the hair need not be
washed as frequently. A hat was tied on top of the cap when going out. The cap
could be made of linen, cotton, or even all lace. Lace and ruffles could be
added to the cap. The style of fashionable cap changed frequently.
Cape
A
protective outer garment that was shaped to the neck, covered the shoulders,
fastened at the center front and was usually shorter than a cloak. Made of
either heavy or light fabrics of wool, cotton, or silk.
Caraco
A
jacket of many different styles worn in the second half of the 18th century. It
was worn with a petticoat and was considered day wear at home or for informal
activities. It was always considered "undress."
Cloak
A long,
loose, unfitted, protective outer garment that fell from the neck and the
shoulders and was usually secured at the center front neck. Sometimes hooded,
and usually made of a heavy woolen fabric.
Dress
Dress
in the 18th century referred to the overall fashion for everyone and not a
single garment. It was the total look from head to toe. Full dress would refer
to the most formal, fashionable look. Today the military's most formal uniform
is referred to as the full-dress uniform. (See also Fashionable Undress and Undress)
In the
18th century this referred to the less formal clothing for everyone, but still
in the best of fashion. Usually worn during the day. (See also Dress and
Undress)
Gown
Throughout
the 18th century a woman's dress usually consisted of a gown and petticoat. The
gown consisted of the bodice and skirt joined together, with the skirt open in
the front to reveal the separate petticoat, which was an essential part of the
dress and not an undergarment. (See also Petticoat and Stomacher)
Hat
Worn
for fashion and for protection against the sun, a lady out of doors almost
always wore a hat. A fashionable hat usually had a very shallow, flat crown and
a wide brim. Hats of chips or straw were the most popular from the 1730s to the
1770s. There were many ways for them to be trimmed and trims would change with
the fashions. A straw hat might even be entirely covered with fabric. Ladies'
riding hats were often of felt and might be cocked like a gentleman's.
Similar
to the Brunswick, but the skirt of the gown was full length. (See alsoBrunswick)
Mitts or Mittens
In the
18th century mitts were elbow-length, fingerless gloves. Although there was a
thumb, it was open and the fingers were left free. They were usually cut with
peaked flaps over the knuckles. Embroidered floral motifs and fancy arm
openings were popular adornments. Heavy mitts gave warmth in winter and light
weight ones protected the arms from the sun in summer. In the winter the hands
could be kept warm with a muff.
Mob Cap
A mob
was undress headwear; becoming popular in the 1730s and worn in some form into
the next century. It had a puffed crown placed high on the back of the head, a
deep flat border surrounding the face, and side pieces carried down like short
lappets, which could be left loose, pinned, or tied under the chin. The flat
border usually was frilled or had lace.
Muffs
Tube-like
accessories used for keeping the hands warm, muffs were of various sizes as
dictated by fashion. They could be covered with fur, cloth, or feathers, and
were usually padded.
Pattens
Pattens
were overshoes consisting of a raised sole standing on an iron ring, with an
adjustable strap used to secure them. Designed to lift the wearer's shoes off
the ground so as to protect them from soiling or damage when there was wetness,
mud, or muck. Pattens were worn by both men and women into the early 20th
century.
Petticoat
A
woman's skirt-like garment worn with a gown or jacket. Most gowns were
open-fronted robes needing the addition of the petticoat to fill the gap.
Quilted ones could be worn for both warmth and fashion. Underpetticoats of
linen, wool, or cotton were added for warmth.
Riding Habit
A riding
habit consisted of a petticoat, jacket, and waistcoat, or waistcoat fronts
attached to the jacket. The jacket followed the lines of men's coats until the
1780s, except that it had a waist seam and bust darts. Habits were suitable for
traveling and fashionable undress.
Shift
The
shift was the undermost garment worn by children and women. It served the same
purpose as the man's shirt. Made from various qualities of white linen, it had
either a drawstring or plain neck, as well as drawstrings or cuffs at the
elbows. It could be plain or lace trimmed.
Shoes
Shoes
were made of silk fabrics, worsteds, or leathers. Depending on current
fashions, they may or may not have had elevated heels. They would fasten by
buckles, clasps or, if very utilitarian they might have ties.
Short Gown
Loose
T-shaped garments cut to the length of the hip or thigh. Made to wrap or Bed
Gown over in front and held together by pinning or held closed with the apron.
Made of utilitarian fabrics to be worn by the laboring sort and made of better
fabric for the middling sort and worn as undress.
Sleeve Ruffles
Ruffles
were attached to the edge of the gown sleeves to cover the elbows. Either plain
or lace trimmed ruffles, the degree of decoration and the number of ruffles
varied with fashion.
Stays
Stays
were the essential foundation garment of the 18th century. They developed from
the "boned bodies" of the 17th century, and in the 19th century were
to become corsets. But just as the names of these garments changed, so did the
shape and effect upon the body. The fashionable 17th century torso was an
elongated tubular trunk, with little taper and encased the bosom. Through the
18th century stays covered the body with their conical form, lifting and
supporting the bosom. In the 19th century corsets created a curvelinear body,
minimizing the waist and accentuating the bosom. The stays of the 18th century,
therefore, did much more to support the body and remind one of good posture
than they did to cinch the waist. Women of the gentry and middling sorts wore
stays most of the time. Children of these classes also wore stays to learn
proper carriage. While fashionable ladies' stays were wanted for a good shape,
working women needed them for good support. All women were admonished by their
contemporaries to not tightly lace or "straight" lace their stays out
of concern for possible injury.
Those who did so out of vanity were mocked by the satirical print to the right,
entitled, "Tight Lacing or Fashion before Ease." The extent to which
stays were worn by slaves is unclear. Plantation records do not indicate the
use of stays in the yearly allotment to field slaves. That some slaves,
particularly house slaves, did wear stays is proven by the many descriptions in
runaway ads. As the sorts of women who wore stays varied greatly, so did the
types and quality of the garments themselves. Frequently constructed in layers
of linen with narrow strips of boning inserted within, stays could vary from
perfectly rigid to very pliable. Boning was either baleen, metal, wood,
pasteboard, or pack thread. Their exteriors could be covered in fine silks,
utilitarian worsteds, or plain linens. Perhaps the lowest sort of stays were
those given by church charity, generally made in a single layer of thick
leather. (See also Children's Clothing-Stays)
A
triangular shaped piece of fabric used in the front of the gown to hold the
gown together. Sometimes soft, but might be stiffened, it would be attached to
the bodice lining by pins and tabs, hooks and eyes, or lacing. It might be
plain or highly trimmed. It could be made of the same fabric of the gown, or of
contrasting fabric and therefore might be worn with different gowns.
Tucker
A plain
or lace ruffle stitched around the neck of a gown.
Undress
Undress
in the 18th century referred to the everyday, utilitarian working clothes.
How to cultivate Good taste
1.)
Trends in position
2.)
Standard for business dress
3.)
Building a basic wardrobe
4.)
Selecting clothes that are right for you
Accessories
Ø A
supplementary item or something nonessentials but desirable that contributes to
an effect or result . The addition of accent, known as accessorizing , is ,
first of all , a way to make an outfit yours
Some of accessories are :
ü Belts
ü Earings
ü Necklace
ü Bracelets
Color choice
Color : The link ung the total look
Ø The
first principle in decorating yourself understands not any what colors are rigt
for you, but which clarities of the colors you should wear.
Ø Some
attributes of colors are lightness, brightness, shades and clarity. Light
colors transmit more light . Brightness is that attribute by which an areas is
judged to emit more or less light . Brightness varies from invinsible to
dazzling.
Factors affecting choice of colors :
1.)
Color of skin , eyes and hair
2.)
Personality
3.)
Occasion
Good habits of Posture
Ø Good
posture is as much an integral part of your good personal appearance as the
clothes that you wear.
Ø Correct
posture adds to your appearance lends poise and confidence to your bearing and
contributes markedly to your good health.
Correct Standing position :
1. Head up straight with chin
tucked. Do not tilt head.
2. Stretch the top of your head
toward the ceiling.
3. Earlobes in line with the
middle of shoulders.
4. Keep shoulder blades back.
5. Keep knees straight but not
locked back.
6. Tuck stomach in. Do not tilt pelvis forward or backward.
7. The arches in your feet should
be supported by proper shoes.
8. Avoid standing in the same
position for a long time. If possible, adjust the
height of your work table to a
comfortable level.
9. When standing, try to elevate
one foot by resting it on a stool or box. After
several minutes, switch your
foot position.
10. While working in the kitchen,
open the cabinet under the sink and rest one
foot on the inside of the
cabinet. Change feet every 5 to 15 minutes.
Correct Sitting position :
1. Sit with back straight and
shoulders back. Buttock should touch the back of the chair.
2. All three normal back curves
should be present while sitting. A small, rolled-up towel or lumbar
roll may be helpful to maintain the normal
curves in your back.
3. Distribute body weight evenly
on both hips.
4. Bend knees at a right angle.
Keep knees even with or slightly lower
than hips. (use a foot rest or stool if
necessary) Your legs should not
be crossed.
5. Keep feet flat on the
floor.
6. Try to avoid sitting in the
same position for more than 30 minutes.
7. At work, adjust your chair
height and work station so you can sit up
close to your work and tilt it up at you. Rest
your elbows and arms on
your chair or desk, keeping your shoulders
relaxed. SEE WORK
STATION PICTURES
8. When sitting in a chair that
rolls and pivots, don’t twist at the waist
while sitting. Instead, turn your whole body.
9. When standing up from the
sitting position, move to the front of the
seat of your chair. Stand up by straightening
your legs. Avoid
bending forward at your waist.
Correct Walking position :
1. Stand up straight.
2. Think of being a tall
and straight. Do not arch your back.
3. Do not lean forward
or lean back. Leaning puts strain on the back muscles.
4. Eyes forward, not
looking down, rather 20 feet ahead.
5. Chin up (parallel to
the ground). This reduces strain on neck and back.
6. Shrug once and let
your shoulders fall and relax, your shoulders slightly back.
7. Suck in your stomach.
8. Tuck in your behind
and rotate your hip forward slightly. This will keep you from arching your
back.
CHAPTER III
GOOD
MANNER AND DECORUM
Ideal behavior is a
combination of knowing the proper thing to do and doing it considerately and
graciously. Although we talk of acquiring social graces, learning manners for
business, having home or company manners as if there were several types of
manners, one set is really all that anyone needs. If you are basically
considerate and mannerly at home, with company, at school, at work, on the
street, you are a gentleman or a lady. Your manners mellow with use and become
part of you. Decorum is propriety and taste in behavior, speech, dress etc one
who observes decorum can gain the respect of others and is admired by those
around him.
ETIQUETTE
VERSUS MANNERS
The terms “manners” and “etiquette” are frequently used
synonymously. Actually they have quite different dictionary meanings as well as
different connotations. Etiquette, a French word meaning “ticket,” came to mean
a rule for behavior when Louis XIV tagged the palace grounds with “etiquette”
telling visitors “This way to the rose garden” or “Please keep off grass.”
Today etiquette means the conventional rules of behavior, the customs handed
down to us or the ones we formulate to meet specific situations.
To be mannerly is to go beyond the technicalities of
these set rules to the spirit that motivates behavior, to the morals and the
principles that prompt manners, to the way that a thing is done or happens.
RULES
TO ETIQUETTE
Manners in the Family
1.
Do not read the others message.
2.
Ask the permission before borrowing your
siblings’ things.
3.
Knock and wait for an answer before opening
the door.
4.
Reply courteously to parents or to older
members of the family
5.
Every member has the right to entertain his
or friends with a minimum interference from the rest of the family unless the
occasion is a family affair.
6.
Use the magic words “Excuse me”, “Sorry” and
“Please” as the need arises.
7.
Never open your parents’ bag or drawers.
8.
Let your parents know when you have to leave.
9.
Avoid interrupting conversation.
10. When
you get up from bed leave it in order.
Table Manner do’s
- Sit properly (and straight) in
your chair.
- Talk about pleasant things.
- Place your napkin on your lap.
- Wait until everyone is seated
before starting to eat.
- Watch others, or ask, if you're
not sure how to eat something.
- Ask someone to pass the food,
rather than reach across the table.
- Chew with your mouth closed.
- Don't talk with your mouth full.
- Use a knife and fork to cut
your meat.
- Say "excuse me" or
"I'm sorry" if you burp.
- Say "no thank you" if
you don't want a certain dish or are full
- Say "may I please be
excused" before leaving the table.
Table Manner Don’ts
- Don't talk about gross things.
- Don't ask for seconds before
others have had firsts.
- Don't take more than your fair
share
- Don't overload your fork or
plate.
- Don't gobble your food.
- Don't chew with your mouth open.
- Don't talk with your mouth full.
- Don't play at the table.
- Don't hum or sing at the table.
- Don't tip your chair or lean on
the table.
- Don't eat with or lick your
fingers.
- Don't push your plate away when
you're finished.
Good Table Conduct
1. Be well groomed when you
come to the table.
2. Come to the table
promptly when called.
3. It is discourteous to
make other wait for you and a sign of thoughtlessness and inconsideration for
the person who prepared the meals.
4. Wait for others instead
of rushing to the table ahead of them. When there are older or more important
persons, permit them to precede you to the table.
5. Be seated only after all
have assembled at the table and then sit down from the left side of your chair.
Everyone sits down at the table at the same time.
6. If you are a man, help
or assist the ladies by pulling out their chairs and pushing the chairs forward
as the ladies are seated.
7. If grace is to be said,
sit or stand quietly while it is being done.
8. As soon as you are
seated, keep your hands in your lap and your elbows close to your sides so as
not to interfere with someone next you.
9. Put your napkin in your
lap. Large napkins are partly unfolded; small napkins may be completely
unfolded.
10. Be observant of the
needs of others. See that food is passed to them. Do not serve yourself first
unless the hostess asks you to do so.
11. Eat the food served, but
be quite about your eating (gulping and smacking food are repulsive).
12. Keep your share in the
conversation but avoid talking about unpleasant or objectionable topics.
13. Apologize in the event
of an accident and then try to forget your disaster.
14. Never reach or grab for
food. Request pleasantly what you want.
15. Manage you silver
inconspicuously and learn the rules for its correct usage.
Modesty
Modesty is an attitude of
propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are
modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to
"glorify God in our body and in our spirit".
1.
Wear simple and appropriate clothing at all
times.
2.
Wears jewelry and other accessories properly.
3.
Avoids the use of excessive makes ups.
4.
Avoids giggling and laughing boisterously in
public.
5.
Speaks well in well modulated voice.
6.
Refrains from boasting of her influential,
friends and acquaintances.
7.
Does not use foul words in group conversation.
8.
Avoids certain places of enjoyment or
entertainment.
9.
Does not accept expensive things from a man
because that may be a bait to make her swallow the hook.
10.
Does not comb her hair in public nor cut her
fingernails.
Manners
in Public
1. When you are out in a public place, keep in
mind that although you may be excited and want to voice your excitement, other
people around you may not want to hear what you have to say. Keep your comments
down at a low volume and address only the person or persons you are out with as
not to disturb anybody else. This includes laughing as well. Do not laugh so
loud as to disturb or annoy others within hearing distance.
2. People do not like unpleasant odors, so take
precautions as to not offend anyone with the way you smell. When out in public,
be sure to wear clothing that is clean and fresh. Wear deodorant to prevent
body odors. If you wear a perfume or cologne, be sure to only use a very small
amount as to prevent the scent from being overwhelming, as what smells good to
you may not be so pleasant for someone else. Do not expel gas in public either.
If you must do so, find a public restroom. Brush your teeth to freshen your
breath before leaving home.
3.
Dress in a way that is appropriate for the place that you are going. If you are
going to an event where people dress in a formal or a semi-formal way, do the
same. For example, do not wear blue-jeans and a t-shirt to a cocktail party. Do
not dress suggestively or in a vulgar manner. On the other hand, if you are
going to a museum or a movie theater, it is acceptable to dress casually. In
other words, try and dress the way you think others will dress at the place you
are going.
4. When you are out where there are
a lot of people within ear-shot and eye-shot, mind your verbal and non-verbal.
Do not use swear words which may offend other people, especially when there are
children around. Do not argue in public and do not say things that could be
construed as critical. Refrain from doing things like pointing at people and
using rude hand gestures such as sticking up your middle finger.
5. If you are eating in a public
place, use your table manners. Use your utensils properly and do not pick up
food with your hands that you are able to pick up with a fork or a spoon.
Remember to place your napkin on your lap.
On Taking a Public/Private Vehicles
1.
When riding a jeep, wait for the loading and
unloading shed.
2.
When the PUJ stops, let the passengers come
down first before you get in to the jeepney.
3.
Pay for the fair before getting off.
4.
It is always more polite for a gentleman to
seat a lady on his right. However, the male should always be at the danger
side.
5.
A lady is assisted by her male companion in
getting into the car. He allowed to put his hand under the elbow while
assisting her.
6.
In her own car a lady always sites on the
right hand side of the rear sit of a car that is driven by a chauffeur.
At the Mass or Inside the
Church
The
church is the place of worship. It is a formal quiet place.
·
Attire
Although church
technically has no dress code, it is good manners to dress nicely for services.
Avoid wearing torn clothing, or clothing that is particularly revealing. Such
attire can be a distraction for others, and it also shows a lack of respect for
God and the church. Men do not have to wear a suit and tie, and women do not
have to wear a dress; dressy pants and a nice shirt are adequate. Of course, if
you do not own any nice clothes, you will still be welcome in church.
·
Quiet
Church is generally a
quiet place for worship and reflection. The preacher speaks often throughout
the service, and may expect parishioners to respond at certain points. However,
you should avoid making excessive noise. This includes allowing infants and
small children to cry during the service. Some churches offer a "cry
room" where parents can take crying children, and participate in the
service without disturbing others. In addition, it is always good manners to
turn off or silence cell phones when entering a church.
·
Entering
and Leaving
Parishioners should arrive
early enough to get settled before the service. Entering after the service has
started may be a distraction to others. You should also avoid having to leave
in the middle of the service, so use the restroom before the service starts. If
you must leave in the middle, avoid doing so when the congregation's attention
is at the altar. It's a good idea to sit near the back of the church if you
think you will need to leave for any reason.
·
Photography
Many churches do not allow
flash photography or videos during services. Even if a church does allow these
activities, taking pictures or videos during a service may distract other
worshipers, as well as the clergy. If you must take pictures, turn the flash
off, and put the camera away as soon as you're done.
·
Participation
Each denomination has its
own set of rules and norms for participation, which generally apply to all
parishioners. If you are visiting a church to which you do not belong, you
should educate yourself about these practices ahead of time, and find out
whether you are allowed to participate as an outsider. If you can participate,
talk to an elder or clergy member to find out what they will expect of you.
Normally, everyone who attends church should participate in verbal responses,
standing practices and singing.
·
Children
Although children are just
as welcome in church as any other person, parents must control their children
while at church. It is okay to bring small snacks, a book or a quiet toy to
keep your child occupied during the service. However, you must help your child
understand that he should not speak to you or anyone else, and must sit quietly
and read, play or draw. Do not let your children run wild, kick the seats in
front of them or crawl around on the floor.
Hotel and Restaurant
It
depends on the restaurant. I don't know the etiquette for a very formal restaurant
but, if you are going to somewhere to sit down and eat a meal there are some
things that you should always do.
1. Never have your elbows on the table.
2. Place your napkin on your lap.
3. Don't lick your fingers.
4. If your phone rings either excuse yourself or ignore it.
Manner in Travelling
Whether
you travel by plan, ship, auto, train, or bus, travel light but be sure to take
along your best manner.
·
For short trips by bus or train, few special
problems arise. But whatever the length of your trip, be sure that your luggage
or packages do not protrude for other to stumble over.
·
If you
travel in a Pullman on a longer train trip, remember that the person who has
the lower berth rides facing forward during the day. The person with the upper
berth takes the opposite seat and rides backward. Be particularly careful to
safeguard your billfold, purse, or other valuables while traveling.
·
A woman traveling alone should not accept invitation from other travelers to
lunch or dinner unless she makes it clear that she will pay her own check. The
companionship may be pleasant but, if it is not, she is under no obligation and
may terminate the acquaintance with no qualms.
·
If you use the services of a red cap in boarding
or leaving train, or if the porter performs any special services for you while
you are traveling, you are expected to give a tip.
·
Air travel is simplified because most of your
most needs are cared for the airline. Tips are not permitted however, the cost
of the limousine or taxi trip to and from the airport are not included in your
fare. You may tip the person who carries your luggage to and from limousine.
·
If you plan a trip by a car, agree with your
companions about financial arrangements before starting. Automobile travel
requires tolerance of the preferences of other passengers and a willingness to
be agreeable and cooperative about where you will go, when you will stop for
meals, and where you will spend the night.
·
Observing the courtesies of the road is not only
a part of your social equipment but is a matter of life itself. Both the driver
and his passengers have responsibilities toward each other. Passengers should
not divert the driver’s attention, back-seat drive, or in any way interfere
with the operation of the car. The driver should not over crowd his car. He
should not mix romance or liquor with driving. He should obey all traffic
rules.
Manner in Dating
When
a fellow asks for a date, he should word his invitation in such a way that the
girl can refuse or accept easily. To ask, “What are you doing Saturday night?”
puts a girl in an embarrassing position. Whether she accepts or refuses a date,
a girl should respond courteously.
1. Say
‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’. It’s
so simple, yet forgotten by so many. It’s courteous and polite to say these
words of good faith, it keeps the mood positive and removes any possible
conflict. When you’re out at a bar, ordering a drink, start your sentence with
“Please can I have…” If you’ve ever worked behind a bar, you’ll know how much
of a pleasure it is serving a genuinely nice person for a change.
Social proof is more attractive than being a hard-nut,
and so by saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, you’ll gain more smiles from the
people around you. More smiles equals greater rapport, and the more rapport you
have with others the higher your social proof. Girls enjoy being secure, so
build a comfortable environment by befriending everyone around with these
effortless words.
2. Conceal your dislikes and disgusts. Nobody likes a moaner, and
especially not on a first date. After spending the most part of an hour or more
getting ready: hair, make-up, clothes and shoes (not to mention accessories),
the last thing a girl wants is to hear you tell her about your disgust for
politics, feet and all things fluffy. Keep things positive by talking about the
things you love instead.
Besides, the whole point of this first date was to try
something new, explore new opportunities and to live life in great company. So
take this further by making yourself open to changes in your own beliefs.
Maybe, just maybe she’ll have the most beautiful feet you’ve ever seen that
secrete majestic perfume.
But when something does arise that you feel strongly
against, do yourself a favor and use your other gentlemanly skill of
conversation to digress onto a new topic that’ll provide some entertainment.
3. Be a good listener because she will value that so
highly it’ll set you way above the rest. Most men get bored very easily
listening to a lady talk about female topics because they have no initial
interest. If you already have a bit of knowledge on the topic, it’ll be easy to
stay engaged. If you don’t, here lies the perfect opportunity to gain some.
Two
ears, one mouth. Aim to listen twice as much as you talk, and not only will you
find that it makes your night easier, it also develops comfort and trust as the
more she talks to you, the more willing she becomes to tell you more. Yet this
doesn’t mean sit there in silence nodding your head like a pigeon, ask
intelligent questions that require some thought. Engage in a deep topic, and
bring it up to a higher level so that nothing seems off limits between you.
4. Hold
the door open for
every lady that walks by. You’ll get bored, frustrated and wonder what on earth
the point is, until you get that one smile and glimpse of feminine beauty as
she graces unhindered through the doorway. Whether it’s huge handbags, gigantic
prams, or mammoth shopping bags, girls will always have stuff with them. As you stand there, waiting
for your date to hurry up in the restroom, make yourself useful and open the
door, everytime.
If your date
happens to see this, all the better for you. She has now visual evidence that
you are a gentleman, someone that will help her when she has a towering load of stuff. On a deeper level, by opening doors
you are increasing the flow and connectivity of the world; removing resistance
and hampers.
5. Don’t answer that phone. As a precaution, you should
turn it on silent or turn it off completely before the date. Answering the
phone, or sending a text will abrupt everything. Every laugh, smile and
previous conversation will go dead. And the only way to revive it is to say,
“so, where were we?” No, you’re here for a reason, and that’s to connect with
this girl, not to speak into your phone.
If
you can feel it vibrating in your pocket, ignore it. Lot’s of girls will
exclaim excitedly, “Oo! Vibration, look who’s got friends” as they take out
their phone but that doesn’t mean you should. Stand for your own beliefs. But
if a time comes when it’s imperative to answer, at least have the courtesy to
let it ring until the conversation has finished, or to take it in the restroom.
6. Give up your seat to anybody in need. Old or
young, pregnant or not, if they need your seat for whatever reason, give it to
them with a smile. Even if they’re young, and don’t need assistance, give it up
for a girl. It may be the kindest thing that’s happened to them all week. But
take caution, when on a date, this doesn’t still apply to the same extent.
There
are many benefits to giving up your seat, and they include burning more
calories, gaining stronger leg muscles, having the opportunity to begin
conversation with the recipient and showing everyone a good example of how a
gentleman should be.
7. Never use vulgarisms. This means don’t swear, ever. You
should never feel the need to swear in the first place, if you do, then you’re
not in control. Swear words are harsh sounding, piercing to the ear and
automatically associate yourself with people lower language quality. The spoken
word should maintain a steady timbre; a beating rhythm that is only heard when
you listen closely. Don’t break this rhythm with a single word.
8. Give sincere compliments because this is the surest way
to develop trust. You know not to smother a girl in praise, adoration or
affection because this will lower the value of each compliment, possibly to the
extent that she is repulsed by them. If you think your date is beautiful, then
pluck up the courage to tell her so.
Compliments
have a scale though. Saying “wow, you’re beautiful” has a much greater effect
then “aw, you’re cute.” So change the frequency of compliments in relation to
their scale. Use them with honesty and humor, but always keep in mind that
she’s probably heard it ten times before. Somehow then, your compliment has to
be worth the most. How do you do this? By having belief.
9. Have good eating habits. Too many dates go horribly
wrong when a piece of fish or something similar gets stuck on your chin, just
where you can’t see it. Sadly, the girl is embarrassed to tell you, so for
hours this piece of fish sits quietly on your face. Avoid it happening by
chewing with your mouth closed, not speaking whilst eating, taking smaller
bites and using your napkin.
At
the same time, set the example. Always point out to the girl if she has
something on her face, show that you don’t talk until you’ve swallowed, and
wash it down with a hearty gulp of water. Remember to use a knife and fork, and
whilst we’re at it, keep elbows below karate style heights.
10. Be patient. Whether she’s ten minutes late,
or there are no taxis about, stay calm. There’s nothing worse than ruining a
perfectly good evening by huffing and puffing about the delay on the train
home. There are two ways of looking at it, you can either believe that the
government has not funded enough money into the public transport
infrastructure, or you can take it as a great opportunity to talk for longer
with your date, possibly even go for a romantic walk whilst you wait, or even
have another drink. Who knows, maybe she’ll invite you back to hers as it would
be so bad for
her to leave you stranded after such a nice night out.
Telephone
Manners
Courtesy in using the telephone and efficient telephone
techniques are discussed below.
Place calls correctly. Be sure that you
have the correct number. For long-distance calls, give the operator all the
pertinent information: name, street address, city, states, and telephone number
if you have it. Hold the line until the call is completed, or until you receive
a report. Identify yourself at the beginning of the conversation.
Answer Properly. Pick up the telephone
on the first ring if possible. Keep the transmitter within an inch of your
lips. Speak slowly and clearly.
Identify Yourself. On your own telephone,
give your name, or your extension number. On someone else’s telephone say, “Mr.
Allen’s office, Miss King.” On a department telephone, identify the department,
and give your name.
Transfer Calls Carefully. Transfer a call only when it is
absolutely necessary. Explain the caller the reason for the transfer. Signal
the operator by slowly depressing and releasing the plunger or the receiver
hook. When the operator answers, request the transfer, and wait for her answer.
Taking Calls for Others. When it is necessary to intercept calls for your employer or take messages for other
family members, use the utmost tact in determining the identity of the caller.
Answer in one of the following ways. Do not use the abrupt “Who’s calling?”
Leave the Line Courteously. Request the
caller’s permission with “Will you please wait while I look up the number?”
Thank the caller for waiting when you return to the line. If too much time is
required to get the information, explain and offer to call back.
Terminate Calls Pleasantly. Express
appreciation or regret, as may be appropriate. Say “Goodbye,” and wait for the
caller to hang up or say “good-bye.” Replace the receiver gently.
Correct way to answer
the telephone
The proper way to answer
the telephone is "hello." On the other hand, simply answering
"yes" is a curt and inappropriate response. The person making the
call draws a very quick conclusion, and that is, to think of that person as
cold and aloof, and hesitates to communicate readily.
At times, someone other
than the head of the house will answer the telephone. If that person is asked,
"may I speak to Mr. ________ please," the response should be,
"one moment please, I will get him for you." If the head of household
is not available the response should be, "I am sorry, Mr. _____ is not
available at this time, may I take a message?" This is simply a form of
good manners, whatever form it may be expressed, thoughtfulness for the
feelings of others. This person may be calling to offer a new job with great
pay and benefits, who's to know! What would he or she think if the answer to
the question, "is Mr. _____ home please," would be an abrupt
"no." This response would reflect negatively, on the actual person
being called.
Manner and Ethics in Business
The relationship between
men and women and between employer and employee in business differs from that
in social and family activities because business requires more formality.
Your Good
Manners. If
you have acquired good manner throughout the many diversified experience of
childhood and early adulthood, entering the business world should hold no
terrors for you.
Office Etiquette. Office
etiquette differs from accepted social usage. Women may expect the ordinary
courtesies that men and women regularly exchange, but no more. Women have
sought for and have attained considerable equality in the business world, for
which they must pay the price of less deference to their ferminity during
office hours.
Ethical Conduct. Now
let us examine some of the principles that make up the business code of ethics.
PSYCHOLOGICAL
ASPECT OF PERSONALITY
A.
INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT
·
Personal Discipline
Developing personal discipline is one virtue many people work hard to
achieve. Many define it as a power within that enables them tackle challenges.
Others see it as the ability to stick with an objective even though the
motivation is not there to do it. Still for some, it is what they refer to as a
guiding principle for life. In a nutshell personal discipline could be regarded
as the ability for us to do what we know we should do whether it is convenient
or not for us to do so. (Adie Vanessa, Personal
discipline: A success key)
·
Self-awareness
Self Awareness is having a clear
perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts,
beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand
other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them
in the moment.
We might quickly assume that we are
self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you
have ever been in an auto accident you may have experienced everything
happening in slow motion and noticing details of your thought process and the
event. This is a state if heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to
engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for
interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations. (Lompoc, Pathway
To Happiness)
·
Self-esteem
Self-esteem can have a big
part to play in how you feel about yourself and also how much you enjoy things
or worry about things.
To understand self-esteem, it helps to
break the term into two words. Let's first take a look at the word esteem (say: ess-teem), which means
that someone or something is important, special, or valuable. For example, if
you really admire your friend's dad because he volunteers at the fire
department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for
the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This
means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.
And self means, well, yourself! So put the
two words together and it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much
you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see
yourself and how you feel about the things you can do. (Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.)
·
Attitude awareness
Is food intake and fitness part of Attitude Awareness? Of course!
Everything about your life is affected by what you tell yourself concerning
what you're experiencing. You consciously and subconsciously program your
computer/brain by the thoughts you think. You feel more control over your life
when you purposely think the thoughts you choose to think. An interesting fact
is that your thoughts quickly turn into beliefs, and that makes changing
thoughts more challenging once that happens.
With summer already here, could you
use a change in attitude to shed a few pounds and trim your body a bit? Would
you like to feel better, have more energy, and to look better as you get into
your warm weather clothes?
Would you like just a bit of slack in your
slacks? If you think you're going to go on a "diet" you'll hate it
and even sabotage it. Diets feel restrictive, they feel like a punishment, and
you'll feel deprived if you put yourself on a diet. You'll have more success
with slimming your body if you don't label your decision. Think of it as an
adventure in seeing how great you can look within a few weeks of just modifying
your habits. This is where attitude enters your consciousness. (Judy
A. Laslie, Attitude Awareness)
·
Self-confidence
Self-confidence is the
confidence one has in oneself, one’s knowledge, and one’s abilities. It is the
confidence of the type: "I can do this". " I have the ability to
do this". Self-confidence is the one thing that is much more important
than many other abilities and traits. If you do not have self-confidence, what
you do will never become fruitful at all. The fruits of what you do without
self-confidence are lost.
Genuine self-confidence is the
forerunner of achievements. Self-confidence integrates the powers of mind and
body and focuses them towards the goal. Only such a concentrated energy can
reach the goal.
Self-confidence is the first step to
progress, development, achievement and success. Even if you have a lot of
abilities and a lot of knowledge, if you do not have Self-confidence you cannot
be a success. But, on the contrary, even if you have only average abilities and
knowledge, if you have an unfailingly true self-confidence, chances are that
you achieve what you want to.(
Ajan Raghunathan, Psycohlogy4all )
CONFIDENCE IN ONES WORK
·
Dare try to succeed
·
Transform self-consciousness to
self-confidence
·
Strive toward mental relaxation
·
Respond to the needs of others
·
Have confidence in your values
·
Learn to listen
·
Be a doer instead of a listener
·
Be quick to compliment and be slow to
criticize
B. STRESS AND STRESSORS
Stress refers to the response you have
to extreme pressure, hardship, or pain that either occurs suddenly or builds up
over time. It can be an emotional struggle; a physical obstacle that must be
overcome; the result of being pulled in many different directions by demands
from family, friends, and work; a response to an unpredicted emergency such as
a natural disaster or loss of a loved one; and many other factors that cause
unpleasant restlessness. (www.netplace.com)
·
Effects of stress
The human body is designed to
experience stress and react to it. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert and
ready to avoid danger. Stress becomes negative when a person faces continuous
challenges without relief or relaxation between challenges. As a result, the
person becomes overworked and stress-related tension builds.
Stress that continues without relief
can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress
can lead to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated
blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that
stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases.( Jeanne Segal,
Ph.D , Mental Health)
·
Positive effects of stress
Positive stress encourages us to face
our fears as opportunities for positive change, instead of eminent threats to
our well-being. Setting goals and carrying out our intentions to achieve what
we want gets our adrenalin following. By using a stressor that may otherwise
create anxiety, we can turn it around to being positive. For example, you may
be preparing for something you’ve never done before. You may be worried or
nervous. You can turn this around by preparing properly and visualizing exactly
what you need to do for the attainment of your goal. You can replace
"failure" thinking with "successful" thinking and learn to
use the positive effects of stress to your advantage.
·
Negative effects of stress
In
prehistoric times, the physical changes in response to stress were an essential
adaptation for meeting natural threats. Even in the modern world, the stress
response can be an asset for raising levels of performance during critical
events such as a sports activity, an important meeting, or in situations of
actual danger or crisis. If stress becomes persistent and low-level, however,
all parts of the body’s stress apparatus (the brain, heart, lungs, vessels, and
muscles) become chronically over- or under-activated. This may produce physical
or psychological damage over time. Acute stress can also be harmful in certain
situations.
KINDS
OF STRESSORS
A Stressor is a chemical or biological agent, environmental
condition, external stimulus or an event that causes stress to an organism. An
event that triggers the stress response may include:
- environmental stressors
(elevated sound levels, over-illumination, overcrowding)
- daily stress events
(e.g. traffic, lost keys)
- life changes (e.g.
divorce, bereavement)
- workplace stressors
(e.g. role strain, lack of control)
- physical stressors
(e.g. tobacco, alcohol, drugs)
Stressors have a chemical reaction
inside of the body. A harmful stressor is detected by the brain, and a
elemental decision pattern occurs. Initially, the stressor is detected and then
transferred to the hypothalamus. Then the following steps occur: crf
(conticotrophin release factor) -> pituitary gland releases “acth”
(adrenocorticotropic hormone) ->adrenal cortex secretes various stress
hormones (e.g. cortisol) ->stress hormones (30 varieties) travel in the
blood stream to relevant organs e.g. glands, heart, intestines.
->flight-or-fight response. Between this flow there is an alternate path
that can be taken after the stressor is transferred to the hypothalamus, which
leads to the sympathetic nervous system. After which, the adrenal medulla
secretes epinephrine. In Etymology, the word stress is from estrecier,
to tighten. (wikipedia.org/wiki/Stressor)
PHYSICAL STRESSORS
STRESS
Heat Traffic Cold Violence
Noise Own illness
Fire Poor work condition and equipment
THE FIVE KINDS OF STRESSORS
The five kinds of stressors are:
- Acute time-limited
- Brief naturalistic
- Stressful events
sequences
- Chronic
- Distant
Acute Time-Limited Stressors
Acute time-limited stressors are ones
given in a controlled environment such as a lab. If you are part of a study,
the tech may present you with a stimulus that causes some level of anxiety for
you. This could be presenting you with something that you have a phobia of or
making you do something you don't feel comfortable doing. The stressor sparks
intense stress but only for the time it takes to illicit a response.
BRIEF
NATURALISTIC STRESSORS
Brief naturalistic stressors are ones
that occur naturally in your environment such as taking a test. The stress you
experience usually only lasts for the time you are in the stressful situation.
Stressful Events Sequences
Stressful events sequences happen when
there is a traumatic event that causes additional stressors. An example of this
is if you are a victim of a natural disaster and then have to deal with the
loss of loved ones, belongings, and pulling your life back together.
Chronic Stressors
Chronic stressors are situations that
happen that force you to change your identity or social roles. If you become
disabled, you will need to adjust your life to accommodate your disabilities.
Distant Stressors
Distant stressors are stress that
happened a long time ago but continue to affect your immune system negatively
because of emotional and cognitive issues. Some examples of distant stressors
include:
- Child abuse
- Prisoner of war
- Loss of a loved one
- War trauma
Knowledge
Is Power in Stress Management
Now that you understand the five kinds
of stressors, you can understand why you feel so anxious, overwhelmed, and
exhausted. You can easily manage some stressors while others need a bit more
work to overcome. Acute time-limited stressors and brief naturalistic stressors
only last for a short time and usually do not have lasting negative effects.
However, stressful events sequences, chronic stressors, and distant stressors
can affect your health over time. It's important to know that you may not be
able to control the occurrence of stressors but you are able to control your
reaction to them.
The reason why stressors are a problem
for people is that it causes them to feel out of control. If someone close to
you dies or endures an injury causing a disability or you become a victim of a
natural disaster, you did nothing to cause those situations and that frightens
you, which makes you feel stress. The key to overcoming that stress is to do
things that make you feel that you are in control. This is why people often
change the way they eat and exercise when someone close to them dies or takes
extra precautions when someone becomes injured. In a natural disaster, you will
often see people coming together to help others recover while helping
themselves by taking advantage of available resources.
If you are experiencing a great deal
of stress, it's time to take back control. Accept the source of your stress and
ask yourself what you can do to help it. The steps you take will help you feel
like you can control your life and your stress. (Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D. , apa.org/helpcenter/stress-kinds.aspx)
KNOWN ILLNESSES
It
is believed that more than 50% of all visits to doctors are initially caused by
stress.
Many health care professionals
consider stress as one of the fundamental reasons for illnesses such as cancer
and heart attack.
Others have already proved that humans
under stress are more vulnerable and not resistant to trivial diseases such as
simple flu.
Numerous couples all around the world
and especially Europe and USA are struggling in having their own babies because
of stress.
More than 60% of all men on this
planet suffer the pains of inflamed hemorrhoids the main reasons for which are
the work under pressure and the inability of meeting numerous tight deadlines.
Beware! Stress can be Slow
Stress may accumulate slowly so it may
be difficult to notice it and if not relieved it may seriously affect your
overall health.
For instance usual daily routines such
as driving might turn out to be constant sources of stress, which slowly and
persistently affect our physical and emotional state.
Thus stress accumulates
day by day and the physical effects of stress may show up unnoticed by you.
PHYSICAL
EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE INTERNAL SYSTEMS
The American Psychological Association
have summarized the most common physical effects of stress on the internal
systems of human's body.
Nervous System
When stress physically or psychologically
the body suddenly shifts its energy resources to fighting off the perceived
threat. In what is known as fight or flight response, the sympathetic nervous
system signals the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol.
These hormones make the heart beat
faster, raise blood pressure, change the digestive process and boost glucose
levels in the bloodstream. Once the crisis passes the systems usually return to
normal
Musculoskeletal System
Under stress muscles tense up. The
contraction of muscles for extended periods can trigger tension headaches,
migraines and various musculoskeletal conditions.
Respiratory System
Stress can make you breathe harder and
cause rapid breathing, which can bring on panic attacks in some people.
Cardiovascular System
Acute stress – stress that is
momentary, such as being stuck in the traffic – cause an increase in heart rate
and stronger contractions of the heart muscle. Blood vessels that direct blood
to the large muscles and to the heart dilate, increasing the amount of blood
pumped to these parts of the body. Repeated episodes of stress can cause
inflammation in the coronary arteries, thought to lead to heart attack.
Endocrine System
Adrenal glands
When the body is stressed the brain sends signals from the hypothalamus, causing the adrenal complex to produce cortisiol and the adrenal modulla to produce epinerphine – sometimes called “stress hormones”
When the body is stressed the brain sends signals from the hypothalamus, causing the adrenal complex to produce cortisiol and the adrenal modulla to produce epinerphine – sometimes called “stress hormones”
Liver
When cortisol and epinerphine are released, the liver produces more glucose, a blood sugar that would give you the necessary energy to fight or flight in an emergency.
When cortisol and epinerphine are released, the liver produces more glucose, a blood sugar that would give you the necessary energy to fight or flight in an emergency.
Gastrointestinal System
Esophagus
Stress may prompt you to eat more or much less than you usually do. If you eat more or different foods or increase your use of tobacco or alcohol you may experience heartburn or acid reflux.
Stress may prompt you to eat more or much less than you usually do. If you eat more or different foods or increase your use of tobacco or alcohol you may experience heartburn or acid reflux.
Stomach
Your stomach may react with “butterflies” or even nausea or pain. You can vomit if the stress is severe enough.
Your stomach may react with “butterflies” or even nausea or pain. You can vomit if the stress is severe enough.
Bowels
Stress can affect digestion and which nutrients your intestines absorb. It can also affect how quickly the food moves through your body. You may find that you have diarrhea or constipation.
Stress can affect digestion and which nutrients your intestines absorb. It can also affect how quickly the food moves through your body. You may find that you have diarrhea or constipation.
Reproductive System
In men excess levels of cortisol,
produced under stress, can affect the normal functioning of the reproductive
system. Chronic stress can impair testosterone and sperm production and cause
impotence.
In women stress cause absent or
irregular menstrual cycles or more painful periods. It can also reduce sexual
desire.
SOURCE: American Psychological
Association
Immune system
The immune system is the internal
system which is designed to protect us from any external bodies (viruses or
bacteria). It costs a lot to the body meaning that it has very high energy
usage.
Under stress your body needs energy to
run or fight! This is why it changes its chemistry to suppress the immune
system. This is why we usually get ill before or after exams or big challenges
at work. (Stress mnt for health , Vishal P. Rao)
SOCIAL
STRESSORS
Social
stress is stress that stems from one’s relationships with
others and from the social environment in general. A person experiences stress
when he or she does not have the ability or resources to cope when confronted
with an external stimulus (stressor), or when they fear they do not have the
ability or resources. An event which exceeds the ability to cope does not
necessarily have to occur in order for one to experience stress, as the threat
of such an event occurring can be sufficient. This can lead to emotional,
behavioral and physiological changes that can put one under greater risk for
developing mental disorder and physical illness.
1. External Stressors
a)
Major Life Events
Research by Psychiatrists Drs Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe
revealed a list of common causes of stress that most people would find
stressful. They called this scale the Holmes and
Rahe Social Readjustment Scale.
The scale is a list of 45 stressors each given a number of points, with
the most stressful at the top of the list (death of a spouse) and the least
stressful at the bottom of the scale (a minor violation of the law). The research indicates that if your total
score is more than 150 points the chances are that it could have an impact on
your health. A score of over three
hundred points in one year indicates that you have a high risk of developing a
stress related health problem.
One of the weaknesses of the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment
scale is that it doesnt take into account the individuals personality, their
perception of how difficult the stressor is, nor does it take into account how
long the stressor continues for; the scale just gives a single number for each stressor. However, it s known that the longer a
stressor continues, then the more likely it is to cause stress and that the
individuals perception of an event is the key to whether they will find a
situation stressful or not.
For example, if a person is happy living in their house, theye
lived there for a number of years, have developed close friends in the area and
do not want to move but are forced to move because their home is being
repossessed, then they are going to find the event of moving infinitely far
more stressful than a person who has lived in their home for a short time, next
to a very noisy, difficult neighbor and who wants to move to get away from the
noise.
To help overcome some of the drawbacks of the Holmes and Rahe
Social Readjustment scale Professor Cary Cooper, of The University Manchester
Institute of Science and Technology (UMIST), has upgraded it by allocating a
scale of 1 - 10 points for each event, so allowing a persons perception of
how stressful the event is, to be taken into account. We have included a copy of Professor Coopers
modified version in the course materials for you to view and use. (Brian Luke Seaward)
b)
Daily Hassles
The majority of causes of stress that we face on a
day-to-day basis are not as extreme as life events. The day-to-day causes of stress are called daily
hassles; they are those daily, minor irritations such as misplacing our car
keys, traffic jams, minor arguments with family/colleagues, etc. Research by Lazarus and Folkman (1984), at
the University of California, indicated that it was the daily hassles rather
than the major life events that affected us the most. Life events do not occur every day, but daily
hassles do; its the constant, daily frustration caused by these hassles that
cause us the most stress, because they occur so regularly and therefore can
undermine our health.
Some
Examples of Daily Hassles
Misplacing
keys
Arguments
Traffic
jams
Time
pressures
Lack
of sleep
Fear
of Crime
Shopping
|
Bureaucracy
Waiting
Loneliness
Queuing
Pollution
Gossip
Relatives
|
Excess
noise
Inconsiderate
people
Difficult
neighbours
Car
breakdow
Meal
Preparation
Job
dissatisfaction
Office
Politics
Problems
with children
|
Psychological stressors
Psychological stress may have evolved
from a real event that caused an emotional disturbance in the past. This event
may have been the messy splitting up from a relationship that lead to emotional
pain. As the event recedes into the past other sentiments within the persons
psyche tend to cause anxiety and stress. So the person might feel unattractive
to the opposite sex or lose confidence in socializing with people. These issues
will cause stress for the person and can lead to other behaviors that induce stress.
They may find it hard to stay focused or feel that their personality is
disintegrating or get anxiety attacks. ( Adrian Whittle )
Internal Stressors
We tend to think that stress is solely caused by external events,
situations and people, yet this is not strictly correct. Research has found that the Transactional
Model of Stress is more accurate. This
model says that stress is caused by a transaction, there is an interaction between the stressor,
our view of the stressor and our perceived ability to cope with it. Its our own internal beliefs, attitudes,
interpretations, perceptions and other factors, in combination with the
external events that tend to create stress.
Internal factors which influence how we perceive stress include our: ( Dr Richard Lazarus PhD)
Beliefs
Expectations
Locus
of control
|
Low
assertion
Low
self esteem
People
pleasing
|
Perception
Perfectionism
Personality
|
Examples
of Some Causes of Stress
Physical
Stressors
Sleep
debt
Excess/to
little exercise
Poor
diet
Drug
misuse
Alcohol
misuse
Excess
heat
Excess
caffeine
Chronic
hyperventilation
Excess
cold
Illness
Smoking
Hypoglycaemia
Lack
of relaxation
Surgery
Chronic
pain
Psychological
Stressors
Excess
anger
Unrealistic
beliefs
Excess pessimism
Health
worries
Unrealistic
expectations
Excessive
worrying
Unhappy
childhood
Unemployment
Financial
problems
Perfectionism
Loneliness
Low
self esteem
Low
levels of assertion
People
pleasing
Boredom
Negative
self talk
Personality
Rigid
thinking style
Excessive
self criticism
Exams
Giving
talks/presentations
Environmental
Stressors
Pollution
Excess
noise
Poor
housing
Damp
conditions
Traffic
jams
|
Work
Stressors
Commuting
Time
pressures
Job
insecurity
Excess
working hours
Workplace
bullying
Company
takeovers
Understaffing
Conflicts
with colleagues
Low
pay
Role
ambiguity
Delegation
problems
Lack
of work recognition
Poor
support/supervision
Workaholic
Family
Stressors
Caring
for a chronically ill relative
Partner
with health problems
Partner
with alcohol/drug problems
Relationship difficulties
Arguments
with children
Bereavement
Children
leaving home
Social
Stressors
Fear of crime
Living
in an urban area
Poverty
Low
social support
Bureaucracy/red
tape
Rude,
aggressive, unhelpful people
Victim
of crime
Problem
neighbors
Racial
harassment
|
HOW
TO COPE WITH STRESS
Cognitive
response
A cognitive response is a thought generated
in response to persuasive communication
and therefore, triggers an attitude change. The way in which a cognitive
response effects attitude, after being exposed to persuasive communication, has
to do with the way the recipient of the communication manipulates, elaborates
and integrates the information. When people are exposed to information, they
relate it to pre-existing thoughts that they already have on the subject.
People are of course more likely to be persuaded by messages to which they have
previously thought optimistically. The cognitive response theory attempts to
understand the link between the initial response to communication and the
attitude change that results. The theory says that a cognitive response
influences final attitude and therefore may effect behavior. (Greenwald)
Behavioral
Response
Avoid
unnecessary stress
- Learn
how to say “no” – Know
your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional
life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to
reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for
stress.
- Avoid
people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t
turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that
person or end the relationship entirely.
- Take
control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If
traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going
to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
- Avoid
hot-button topics –
If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your
conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the
same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of
discussion.
- Pare
down your to-do list –
Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got
too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.”
Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or
eliminate them entirely.
Alter
the situation
- Express
your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or
someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and
respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build
and the situation will likely remain the same.
- Be
willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do
the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a
good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
- Be
more assertive.
Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing
your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study
for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only
have five minutes
to talk.
- Manage
your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re
stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused.
But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can
alter the amount of stress you’re under.
Adapt
to the stressor
- Reframe
problems. Try
to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than
fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and
regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
- Look
at the big picture. Take
perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will
be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth
getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy
elsewhere.
- Adjust
your standards. Perfectionism
is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for
failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and
others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
- Focus
on the positive. When
stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you
appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts.
This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
C. MOTIVATION
motivation is to give reason, incentive,
enthusiasm, or interest that causes a specific action or certain behavior.
Motivation is present in every life function. Simple acts such as eating are
motivated by hunger. Education is motivated by desire for knowledge. Motivators
can be anything from reward to coercion.
There
are two main kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation
is internal. It occurs when people are compelled to do something out of
pleasure, importance, or desire. Extrinsic motivation occurs when external
factors compel the person to do something. However, there are many theories and
labels that serve as sub tittles to the definition of motivation. For example:
"I will give you a candy bar if you clean your room." This is an
example of reward motivation.( Wendy
Pan , Motivational Training)
Theories of
Motivation
Overview
At a simple level, it seems obvious
that people do things, such as go to work, in order to get stuff they want and
to avoid stuff they don't want.
Why exactly they want what they do and
don't want what they don't is still something a mystery. It's a black box and
it hasn't been fully penetrated.
Overall, the basic perspective on
motivation looks something like this:
In other words, you have certain needs
or wants (these terms will be used interchangeably), and this causes you to do
certain things (behavior), which satisfy those needs (satisfaction), and this
can then change which needs/wants are primary (either intensifying certain
ones, or allowing you to move on to other ones).
A variation on this model,
particularly appropriate from an experimenter's or manager's point of view,
would be to add a box labeled "reward" between "behavior"
and "satisfaction". So that subjects (or employees), who have certain
needs do certain things (behavior), which then get them rewards set up by the
experimenter or manager (such as raises or bonuses), which satisfy the needs,
and so on.
Classifying
Needs
People seem to have different wants.
This is fortunate, because in markets this creates the very desirable situation
where, because you value stuff that I have but you don't, and I value stuff
that you have that I don't, we can trade in such a way that we are both happier
as a result.
But it also means we need to try to
get a handle on the whole variety of needs and who has them in order to begin
to understand how to design organizations that maximize productivity.
Part of what a theory of motivation
tries to do is explain and predict who has which wants. This turns out to be
exceedingly difficult.
Many
theories posit a hierarchy of needs, in which the needs at the bottom are the
most urgent and need to be satisfied before attention can be paid to the
others.
Maslow
Maslow's hierarchy of need categories
is the most famous example:
self-actualization
|
esteem
|
belongingness
|
safety
|
physiological
|
Specific examples of these types are
given below, in both the work and home context. (Some of the instances, like
"education" are actually satisfiers of the need.)
Need
|
Home
|
Job
|
self-actualization
|
education,
religion, hobbies, personal growth
|
training,
advancement, growth, creativity
|
esteem
|
approval
of family, friends, community
|
recognition,
high status, responsibilities
|
belongingness
|
family,
friends, clubs
|
teams,
depts, coworkers, clients, supervisors, subordinates
|
safety
|
freedom
from war, poison, violence
|
work
safety, job security, health insurance
|
physiological
|
food
water sex
|
Heat,
air, base salary
|
According
to Maslow, lower needs take priority. They must be fulfilled before the others
are activated. There is some basic common sense here -- it's pointless to worry
about whether a given color looks good on you when you are dying of starvation,
or being threatened with your life. There are some basic things that take
precedence over all else.
Factors
That Influence Motivation at Work
- Interest.
A person will always give vent to whatever is her interest in life. A
doctor who sacrificed a great deal of his pleasure in life while studying
for the medical course cannot attain success in his profession if he is
more inclined toward politics. Ultimately he will seek gratification in
becoming a politician sooner or later.
- Power
and Authority. Some people are born to have a strong desire to be on top
of the other people. Having high intelligence, great self-confidence, and
belief in one’s capacity are the elements that drive people to seek power
ant authority.
- Personal
Growth. Life is a continuous
process of becoming , of growing and developing . Motivation is the
driving force which gives “buoyancy” in going the stage-by-stage struggle
in attaining our objectives in life.
- Self-fulfillment.
This is the stage when the goals in life are attained. This can only take
place at a normal pace at 45 years and above. This is the period when one
has a family, a career, and many material possessions.
Full-time
jobs can become monotonous. For companies to encourage their employees to stay
on task and advance in their work, motivation may be an appropriate strategy.
Companies that wish to use motivational strategies to influence employee work
effectiveness must know the factors that can inspire employees to increase
their levels of motivation at work. (
1.
Money
o Money
is one of the most important factors of work motivation. By offering higher
salaries and bonuses, companies can influence workers to increase work
productivity. There are many ways for a company to employ money as a
motivational tool. Some methods are raises as rewards and pay cuts as
punishments, the offer of overtime pay for employees who choose to stay beyond
the hours for they are obliged to stay and benefits such as paid holidays and pension
plans.
Trust and Honesty
o Companies
can offer their trust and honesty to employees as a cost-free method of
inspiring higher rates of productivity. While simple concepts such as trust and
honesty do not intuitively seem like they have the ability to motivate workers,
they in fact lead to a mutual understanding between the employees and
employers. This understanding is that the company is organized under a shared
culture in which neither side will attempt to deceive the other. A positive
work environment that supports fairness encourages workers to perform their
jobs according to their responsibilities. This allows companies to avoid the
phenomenon of employees evading work responsibilities as well as contributes to
a sense of fairness and equality in the workplace in which every employee has
equal importance. Since the idea of fairness and honesty is set by the company,
this can be a useful strategy in maintaining order in the workplace.
Meaningfulness
o The
meaningfulness of an individual's job can influence how hard she works at that
job. Companies can foster a sense of meaningfulness by providing employees
information about their jobs and what the end results of their work will be.
The company should also inform employees how they are an important part of the
company in an internal sense--that is, the employees of a company rely on each
other to create a meaningful composite result.
Freedom
o Giving
workers more freedom tends to lead to higher levels of motivation. In contrast,
establishing new rules and policies lead to lower levels of motivation. A
company can rethink its rules to decide which may be bigger barriers to freedom
than are catalysts to efficiency. By doing so, companies can create a sense of
freedom in the work environment, leading to a higher level of motivation in the
workforce.
REFERENCE
- Adie Vanessa, Personal discipline: A success key
- Lompoc,
Pathway To Happiness
- Elaine
N. Aron, Ph.D
- Judy
A. Laslie, Attitude
Awareness
- Ajan
Raghunathan,
Psycohlogy4all
- www.netplace.com
- Jeanne
Segal, Ph.D , Mental Health
- wikipedia.org/wiki/Stressor
- Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D. , apa.org/helpcenter
- Stress
mnt for health , Vishal P. Rao
- Adrian Whittle
- Brian Luke Seaward
- Greenwald
- Wendy
Pan , Motivational Training
CHAPTER
V
EMOTIONAL
ASPECTS OF PERSONALITY
EMOTIONS
AND FEELINGS DEFINED
Feelings and emotion are moving powers of
human beings. Anxieties and enthusiasm, apprehension, desires pleasantestand
unpleasantness of life experiences elicits the power of emotion. Positive
emotions results in the effectiveness and efficiency of individuals. Negative
emotions result in the effectiveness and efficiency of individuals.
Emotions are stronger than feelings.
Emotions are instincts, strong, intensive and integrated in the whole
being and focused on the object of the emotions. They are internalized that
they integrate body and mind.
Feelings are concern in the external sensations of pain and pleasure
through the external senses of the body, it is also a simple pleasurable or
painful aspects of mental processes or bodily conditions. It is also sensations
by the environment.
Classification of Emotions
1. Personal Emotions –
based on self.
Example:
·
Self-assertion
·
Self-control
·
Self-assurance
·
Self-esteem
2. Social Emotions –
Strong feelings people have because they are part of the society they move in.
Example:
·
Sympathy
·
Empathy
·
Love
for the Family
·
Patriotism
·
Pride
·
Recognition
3. Intellectual Emotions –
Based on love for the truth. People possess intellectual emotions when they
develop guiding principles and philosophies, system of values and high moral
standards.
Examples:
·
Novelty
·
Loftiness
4. Aesthetic Emotions –
influence by cultural background. The finer taste an outcome of one’s exposure
to refinements and one’s finesse depends on his lifetime experiences, education
and training.
Example:
·
Admiration
·
Appreciation
·
Sacrifice
·
Patriotism
EFFECTS OF EMOTIONS
Emotions are
accompanied by glandular, muscular, mental and physical effects on human
organism. Usually a person with intense emotions would have either reddish
face, hair standing all over the body, profuse perspiration, trembling of legs
and joints; uncontrollable tears.
1) Unpleasant Emotions –
cause by excessive secretion of glands which affects the normal functions of
the body such as digestion, respiration and excretion. They also use tenseness
of the muscles, higher breathing rate and faster heartbeat. The posture becomes
unsteady.
2) Pleasant Emotions –
live love, joy, happiness and satisfaction and satisfaction that can arouse
enthusiasm of persons, acceleration the learning process and may result in the
fulfilment of the person.
3) Strong Emotions –
can block the learning process. Unmanageable strong emotions cat retard growth
and development of the mind. It can thwart the learners’ acquisition knowledge.
4) Positive Emotions –
motivate a man into action when he is happy over success.
5) Negative Emotions –
shortened the span of life.
MAJOR SIGNS OF MENTAL HEALTH
1. Maintaining self-confidence –
is trusting oneself to cope with the difficulties which cross one’s way.
2. Making Adjustments –
is making oneself able to fit in almost all situations confronting him.
Tension –
is always present at very beginning stage.
3. Controlling Emotions –
emotional blocks have a detrimental effect on the individuals. A person is kept
from using his logical thinking when he is enveloped with emotions. He is
likely to be caught off guard and with all probability, he cannot respond
appropriately since he is shrouded with emotions.
4. Positive self-concept – a
high regard for oneself should be encourage and maintained. One can maintain a
certain degree of respectability if he first respects himself.
Problem with Thinking as a Sign of Mental
Illness
·
Has trouble concentrating, is easily
distracted.
·
Can’t remember information.
·
Processes information slowly, is confused.
·
Has to work hard to solve problems.
·
Can’t think abstractedly.
Some
general symptoms that may suggest a mental illness include:
In adults
·
Confused thinking
·
Long-lasting sadness or irritability
·
Extreme highs and lows in mood
·
Excessive fear, worry, or anxiety
·
Social withdrawal
·
Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
·
Strong feelings of anger
·
Delusions or hallucinations ( seeing or
hearing things that are not really there )
·
Increasing inability to cope with daily
problems and activities
·
Thoughts of suicide
·
Denial of obvious problems
·
Many unexplainable physical problems\
·
Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol
In older children and pre-teens
·
Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol
·
Inability to cope with daily problems and
activities
·
Changes in sleeping and/or eating habits
·
Excessive complaints of physical problems
·
Defying authority, skipping school, stealing,
or damaging property
·
Intense fear of gaining weight
·
Long-lasting negative mood, often along with
poor appetite and thoughts of death
·
Frequent outbursts of anger
In younger children
·
Changes in school performance
·
Poor grades despite strong efforts
·
Excessive worry or anxiety
·
Hyperactivity
·
Persistent nightmares
·
Persistent disobedience and/or aggressive
behaviour
·
Frequent temper tantrums
FIVE STEPS TO HAPPINESS
1. Laughter –
give yourself and emotional and physical lift including laughter and play your
life on a regular basis.
2. Confidence –
one way to happiness is to talk you lovingly towards yourself in the presence
of others and to be proud of yourself in public.
3. Tasting Risk –
Every successful person agrees that risk in the pursuit of achievement. We get
energy for taking risks when we face our fear and act in spite of it. Fear of
failure keeps us from risking but willingness to risks is a measure of our
consciousness of prosperity.
4. Creative Boost –
the following are seeds of creativity:
·
Productivity – most productive people are
creative the process of working and being productive, one has the opportunity
to become creative.
·
Analytical Thinking – this breaks down
concepts and ideas into their component parts to understand something
thoroughly, one has to see its surface structure
·
Independent Thinking – be an independent
thinker. Information is collected, analysed and stored in order that one can
render an independent judgment.
·
Unconventionality – different in ideas.
5.
What
can one do when he wants to change but doesn’t know how:
a.
Dare to love yourself in a world that gives
no guarantee.
b.
Pay attention to what you feel.
c.
Nobody can really tell you the answer to
life’s problems.
d.
If what you are doing is not getting you what
you want, try something different.
e.
When you are considering a specific change,
make a list of all possible things that could happen.
f.
Before you change, take a few moments to
compliment yourself for some specific attributes.
g.
Evaluate results.
EMOTIONS
Feelings
determined our actions, and conversely, our behaviour often determines how we
feel.
Emotions
results from the satisfaction or non-satisfaction of a movie. Emotions are
strong feelings of some kind accompanied by highly complex changes in the body
itself, like, weakness, in the knees trembling and ‘funny feelings’. Emotions are
reactions to either frustrations or satisfactions. If you are hungry and cannot
find food, you get angry. When satisfied, however, you are happy. Man inherits
his physical equipment for emotional expression, but learns the kind of
emotional behaviour that he demonstrates.
Kinds of Emotions
There
are pleasant emotions, such as love, feelings of accomplishments, and
affection; there are also unpleasant emotions, as fear, anxiety, and anger.
LOVE.
Love and affection are emotional responses which, if expressed in a positive
way form the basis for many of man’s greatest achievements. Love builds
tolerance, self-sacrifice, friendliness, and many other pleasant experiences.
If love is used negatively, it can result in vanity, selfishness, and
deteriorate into hate and jealously.
Disappointment
in loved, causes hurt feelings.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR HURT
Everyone
is vulnerable at one time or another; no one can avoid all hurt. If you live
life to its fullest, you’re bound to encounter disappointment and rejection. On
the other hand, getting burned can help you grow into a more sensitive, caring
person.
Most
people associate vulnerability – the capacity to be hurt by others – with
weakness or inadequacy. But there’s nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable, and
there’s no reason to fight the pain. (In fact, realizing that everyone
experiences hurt is likely to help you learn to deal with it better, so that
what might once have been an excruciating jab becomes more like just an
unpleasant pinprick.) “Vulnerability is not a bizarre state of affair, it is
universal.”
Teens
often experiences this kind of the first time around the ages of fourteen and
fifteen, when peers begin to abandon their long friendships with the same sex
to explore relationships with the opposite sex. This may cause tremendous pain
for the loyal confidant who’s left behind. Or a girl may feel devastated when a
boy suddenly dismisses her shortly after he has professed his love. Since teens
don’t really know themselves fully, many of them tend to establish tentative
relationships. This often means rejection for the person seeking a more
permanent attachment.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR ANGER
What is anger?
Anger
is the flash of rage you feel when a child defies you or a lover betrays a
trust. It’s the slow burn at injustice, at violent crime or venal politicians.
Anger may look like a sulk, a burst of temper, the merest flicker of a frown.
Or it may be scarely visible: the remark not made and the hand not raised, but
the face unnaturally pale.
“Can I control my anger?”
The
answer is a resounding yes and a resounding no. Yes, it’s possible to control
showing your anger and a good thing too. Most of us do not chew out the
policeman as he’s writing us a ticket, or talk back to the boss unless we have
a job offer elsewhere. We learn to mask anger at an early age and get good at
it often without even being aware that we are doing it.
But
we can’t control our feelings. Feelings come and go; the patterns they make,
which are evident in our behaviour, conscious and unconscious, illustrate who
we are.
Although
you can’t eliminate your feelings, you can temper them through acceptance.
Recognizing and understanding why you feel what you feel is the first step
toward mastering unruly emotion. I was once jealous and angry when a dear
friend married.
CONTROL YOUR TEMPER
A
temper that’s allowed to burst out in the wrong way at the wrong time and
before the wrong people can make the difference between a happy life and a
thoroughly miserable one. In the process, you destroy friendships, lose
boyfriends, wreck relationship with teachers, and make life with parents ay
home more of a hassle than it normally is.
And
that can be just the beginning. Unless anger is understood and managed
properly, it can accumulate inside and cause a wide range of ailments. Feelings
of suppressed anger can not only play havoc on our nervous system but produce
certain chemical changes in the body. Then we become candidates for such
physical and emotional problems as severe headaches, stomach disorders, skin
eruptions, exhaustion, nervous upsets, and depression.
CHAPTER
VI
MORAL AND SPIRITUAL ASPECTS
OF PERSONALITY
A. SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS INFLUENCING
MORAL BEHAVIOR
I.
Family
The family is the major
factor in the development of an individual. Educators and social scientist are
one in their view that the family is the first socializing agent that molds the
child in his earliest years so that he may be become an accepted member of group.
Family is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity,
affinity, or co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution
for the socialization of children. Anthropologists most generally classify
family organization as matrilocal (a mother and her children); conjugal (a
wife, husband, and children, also called nuclear family); and consanguinal
(also called an extended family) in which parents and children co-reside with
other members of one parent's family.
Peers
It is a small, informal and somewhat exclusive
affiliation of individuals in a face-to-face group. Members are approximately
of the same age. Basis of peer group formations are interests, special
attitudes, and the desire to get together with others or to do things with
others.
A peer group is a primary group of people, typically
informal, who share a similar or equal status and who are usually of roughly
the same age, tended to travel around and interact within the social aggregate
Members of a particular peer group often have similar interests and
backgrounds, bonded by the premise of sameness. However, some peer groups are
very diverse, crossing social divides such as socioeconomic status, level of
education, race, creed, culture, or religion. Unlike the family and the school,
the peer group lets children escape the direct supervision of adults. Among
peers, children learn to form relationships on their own. Peer groups also
offer the chance to discuss interests that adults may not share with their
children (such as clothing and popular music) or permit (such as drugs and
sex).
Benefits
derived from peers:
v A
sense of independence from parents.
v Reinforcement
of one’s personal importance
v Prestige
v Incentive
to behave in a mature way
v Satisfying
sense of belongingness
v Release
of emotional tensions in a friendly climate
v Development
of social skills
Methods on how parents make
their child develop in peer group
v Making
sure that the child was paying attention to the comment or instruction before
it was delivered.
v Giving
the child plenty of choices in play activities so that motivation remains high
v Verbally
reinforcing any attempts with social interaction (e.g., “great throw”)
v Providing many different examples of
appropriate play and social interaction, including verbal statements (e.g.,
“this game is fun!”);
v Encouraging
conversation by withholding the preferred activity or object until the child
produces a verbal response related to the activity (e.g., the child may be
required to say “let’s play ball”);
v Encouraging
additional conversation by talking about tangibles in the room (e.g., “I like
pizza, do you like to eat pizza or ice cream?); and
v Describing
the play activity that is taking place (e.g., while opening the cabinet, the
peer says “I’m going to make some cookies”).
Types of groups
Primary groups
According to Charles Horton Cooley (1864–1929), a primary
group is a small social group whose members share personal and lasting
relationships. People joined in primary relationships spend a great deal of
time together, engage in a wide range of activities, and feel that they know
one another well. In short, they show real concern for one another. In every
society, the family is the most important primary group. Groups based on
lasting friendships are also primary groups.
Secondary groups
in contrast to
primary groups, are large groups involving formal and institutional
relationships. Secondary relationships involve weak emotional ties and little
personal knowledge of one another. Most secondary groups are short term,
beginning and ending without particular significance.[12] They may last for
years or may disband after a short time. The formation of primary groups
happens within secondary groups.
Some examples of types of
groups include the following:
Peer group
A peer group is a group with members of approximately the
same age, social status, and interests. Generally, people are relatively equal
in terms of power when they interact with peers.
Clique
A group of
people that have many of the same interests & commonly found in a High
School/College setting; most of the time they have a name & rules for
themselves.
Club
A club is a
group, which usually requires one to apply to become a member. Such clubs may
be dedicated to particular activities: sporting clubs, for example.
Household
All individuals
who live in the same home. Anglophone culture may include various models of
household, including the family, blended families, share housing, and group
homes.
Community
A community is a
group of people with a commonality or sometimes a complex net of overlapping
commonalities, often–but not always–in proximity with one another with some
degree of continuity over time.
Franchise
An organization which runs several instances of a
business in many locations.
Gang
A gang is usually
an urban group that gathers in a particular area. It is a group of people that
often hang around each other. They can be like some clubs, but much less
formal. They are usually known in many countries to cause social unrest and
also have negative influence on the members and may be a target for the law
enforcers in case of any social vices.
Mob
A mob is usually a group of people that has taken the law
into their own hands. Mobs are usually groups which gather temporarily for a
particular reason.
Posse
A posse was originally found in English common law. It is
generally obsolete, and survives only in America, where it is the law
enforcement equivalent of summoning the militia for military purposes. However,
it can also refer to a street group.
Squad
This is usually a
small group, of around 3 to 15 people, who work as a team to accomplish their
goals.
Dyad
This is a social group with two members. Social
interaction in a dyad is typically more intense than in larger groups because
neither member shares the other's attention with anyone else.
Triad
This is a social
group with three members, which contains three relationships, each uniting two
of the three people. A triad is more stable than a dyad because one member can
act as a mediator should the relationship between the other two become
strained.
Team
Similar to a
squad, though a team may contain many more members. A team works in a similar
way to a squad.
In-group
It is a social
group toward which a member feels respect and loyalty.
It is a group that an individual identifies in positive
direction. If a person is part of the in-group then they are collectively part
of an inner circle of friends. An inner circle may contain sub-groups within
the inner circle including the apex (best friends), core (very close friends),
outer rim, etc. This group provides a support structure and being exclusive
offers protection from anyone in an Out-group.
Out-group
It is a social
group toward which a person feels a sense of competition or opposition.
II.
Schools
One of the most important
aims of education in the Philippines is to develop moral character and personal
discipline. Teachers are expected to impart moral and spiritual values. Moral
training is in cooperated in the curriculum, especially in the elementary
grades and high school. Is an institution designed for the teaching
of
students under the direction of teachers. In these systems, students progress
through a series of schools. As the child grows, normally the child is sent to
school. This is inevitable particularly in this advantage world. As what we learn
teachers are the second parents. This child spends more time in school than
being at home during school days. The child deals with the classmates, meets
new friends, but mostly importantly, the child is under the control of the
teacher. All these take place in the school. Thus another aspect of development
arises, that is, the contribution of the school.
III.
Church
The church is also an agent for social control. Most of
those who go to church and prayer meetings are more likely to develop good
morals than those who do not. A building or structure to facilitate worship and
the meeting of its members, particularly in Christianity. The individual must
have the right to life and liberty, otherwise, his life is not his own. He
becomes the slave to a “moral doughtiness’”.
Illustration:
Family Peers
School Church
B. APPROACHES IN THE MORAL
BEHAVIOR
1. Psychoanalytic approach
Expresses the idea that when the super ego dominates the
individual, he is good because he has a conscience that tells him to be good.
Psychoanalytic approach understands us from the point of view of our
unconscious and early childhood experiences.
Focuses on the importance of the unconscious mind (not
the conscious mind). In other words, psychoanalytic perspective dictates that
behavior is determined by your past experiences that are left in the
unconscious mind (people are unaware of them). This perspective is still based
on Freud’s psychoanalytic perspective about early experiences being so influential
on current behavior, but the focus on sex is not as great.
Because psychoanalytic theories have been developed
outside the realm of literature, they are not tied to a specific aesthetic
theory and are frequently coupled with other schools of literary criticism
(e.g., feminist psychoanalytic criticism, reader-response psychoanalytic
criticism, etc.).
2. Learning-Theory approach
Says that we have been trained and discipline by our
upbringing and by the examples of our parents into having the way we should.
Can be applied to any environment where any social
phenomenon occurs. Social learning theory includes distinct factors
facilitating social learning: labeling theory, observational learning and
socialization. Furthermore, businesses, governments and guerrilla marketing
tactics can implement social learning theory to satisfy their agendas.
3. Social-group approach
Claims that we behave the way we do because people expect
us to behave that way.
This two or more humans who interact with one another,
share similar characteristics and collectively have a sense of unity, although
the best way to define social group is a matter of conjecture. Regardless, a
society can be viewed as a large group, though most social groups are
considerably smaller. Society can also be viewed as people who interact with
one another, sharing similarities pertaining to culture and territorial
boundaries.
4. Cognitive-development
approach
Asserts that to behave morally
Implies intelligent adaptations to our environment. It
emphasizes the importance of intelligence in moral control. The more
intelligent a person is, the stronger he is morally.
Cognitive development is a comprehensive theory about the
nature and development of human intelligence first developed by Jean Piaget. It
is primarily known as a developmental stage theory, but in fact, it deals with
the nature of knowledge itself and how humans come gradually to acquire,
construct, and use it. Moreover, Piaget claims the idea that cognitive
development is at the centre of human organism and language is contingent on
cognitive development. Below, there is first a short description of Piaget's
views about the nature of intelligence and then a description of the stages
through which it develops until maturity.
C. CHRISTIAN MORALITY
Morality
Is primarily concerned with
the rightness or wrongness of the act.
An
act is said to be immoral if the doer has the intention to kill, harm, destroy
somebody. (finley & Pennock, 1977).
Morality can mean “moral behavior”. The word immoral is
hardly used since it has received an almost exclusively sexual connotation.
Immorality in the general sense of anti moral behavior is possible only in a
limited way.
Points Christian Morality:
1. Christians
are daily bombard with unchristian views to man. This can affect us and make us
act towards others in unchristian ways.
2. Based
on the natural law and divine revelation, Christianity maintains that each
person is fundamentally good, redeemable and loved by good. It holds that each
man and woman, whether he or she knows it, is potentially a child of God and a
brother or sister of Jesus Christ and of each other.
3. Man
is free creature who is responsible for his freedom. He is able to respond with
love to the demands brother and sister place on him. He is intimately related to
Christ and shows his love of God by responding to the teachings of Jesus under
the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
4. The
subjective form of morality is one’s conscience. A person has to follow his or
her conscience, but he or she has the duty to develop a properly formed
conscience. Conscience is an inner
dialogue with God which enables a person to discover responsible behavior.
Most Filipinos are Christians. A Christian is called upon
to see everyone in the light of God’s love which embraces all people everywhere.
This respect for the lives of others must extend even in enemies.
Christians taught to hate the evil
deed but never to hate the one who committed. The teachings of God guide the
lives of men. They are found in religious books, in the bible, one of the
religious box, we can find beautiful passages that can improve our personality.
D. THE NATURE OF MAN
The
complexities of man’s life are better understood through understanding
of mans nature. Man has dual nature, composed not only of
body but also of soul. He occupies the position far higher than that of brute
creation because he is a soul, which is the principle of life and vital action.
It is a principle by which man lives and moves, perceives and understands. Man
surpasses all other earthly creatures by the unique fact of possessing a soul
endowed with the intellect and the will. The soul is so united to the body that
through it the body receives and possesses subsistence and life. (Kelly, 1968).
Chapter
VII
HUMAN
RELATIONS
·
Human relations as fitting people into work
situations so as to motivate them to work together harmoniously. The process of
fitting together should achieve higher levels of productivity for the
organization, while also bringing employees economic, psychological, and social
satisfaction. Human relations cover all types of interactions among
people-their conflicts, cooperative efforts, and group relationships. It is the
study of why our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors sometimes cause interpersonal
conflict in our personal lives and in work-related situations.
·
Human Relations is your influence with people
around you with the patterns of lifestyle, attitudes, behavior, feelings, motivation,
sharing and giving, ect. In short, different aspects of your personality, making
a MAGNETIC YOU! The basic insight into human nature is important and can be
categorized as follows:
Human relationship-a
relation between people ;( relationship’ is often used where Relation would
serve as in the relationship between inflation and unemployment, but the
preferred usage of relationship is for human relations or states or
relatedness) “the relationship between mothers and their children”
Different Character:
All posses different kind of character, whether good or bad. This is because of
their continuous influence on their surroundings right from the birth to levels
of their understanding. All have their ups and downs and so; one has to
understand through sympathetic imagination, posses the abilities to feel others
problems, joys, thrills, sorrow and above all, nature.
Emotionally Sociable: Be
kind, caring, thoughtful person. It shows your quality of goodness,
friendliness, loving and cooperative self. People see what you show yourself,
the genuineness, originality, and eternal outer surface of your heart. Your
built up image reflects your mind and your actions speak louder than words.
Concerned Nature:
Your concern over feelings of others is always appreciated and is the basic
forces for their liking towards you. Criticism should have no stand in one’s
life and is raw, dishearten, discouraging and just smudged reaction to let down
a person. Criticism is your inferior complex, popping up on surface, an ego to
boost your own self. Love, affection, Appreciation in turn, makes you feel important,
liked and above all, a best among the rest.
Ideals and Inspirations:
These are the qualities that motivate to show the surging potentials within
you. They rise your spirits to swing in action and gear for a set of desired
goals reaching the attaining heights of superiority and success. Encouragement
builds confidence and plays a major role from the start. The conscious within
stirs the souls with the ideals and thereby Inspirations generate the will to
push ahead the lifetime Karmas for a nonchalant achievement.
Wisdom of Acceptance:
Our basic concept of accepting people is “Beware- No blind conviction please”
which true in modern times yet, unfortunate attitude misguiding the human mind.
Strangers too, are humans with equally a static life with ups and downs turning
their moods and attitude. A kind, caring affectionate goodness with sympathetic
imagination and ability to feel others joy and thrills. A problem builds an
acceptance of a person with insights of human behavioral patterns.
Forgiveness:
The shaken and strained state of mind with resentment experiences bitterness
and frustration. Forgiveness to the guilty relaxes and ease’s the stress and
relations. The sympathetic forgiveness, true from the heart brings peace and
happiness. The emotional set back turns to normalcy with realization of shame
and guilt, gathering up oneself from shattered hopes of despair.
Sharing and Giving:
When you squander for yourself, you become a victim of selfish mind but
selflessness sharing and giving, in terms of your ideas, time, energy, talent,
money, belongings will reach you heights anew with aliveness and joys of
living. A luxurious living hurts inside with loneliness and malign feelings
but, initiated feelings of sharing and giving will add to peace, joy and prosperity,
the true art of living.
Religious Nature:
Being an atheist brings out a human in you. Divine contact brings vision for
future. Abilities are blossomed with renewed hope, faith and trust. It makes a
deeper person with more understandings of humanity. The blurred visibilities
are clear as reflections of religious feelings gives strength and courage to
face challenges of life.
Communication:
Good communication may be cited as the most important component of sound human
relations. Despite the recognition of the importance of communication, it
presents one of the most difficult and perplexing faced in modern
organizations.
·
The
very heart of human relations that bridges gaps towards closeness.
Communication can be words, gestures or from the core of the heart. Sorrows,
joy, dreams, success, failures and so on are the basic human conversational
topics in different forms. Personal feelings are vital exposures and should be
shared deeply for a strong bond of relationship. The very absence of communication
would leave one alone morose and broken hearted.
True
is your beauty in body and Soul if you understand the Art of living with the
basics of Human Relations and then one is able to build a better Personality.
An
interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that
may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on
inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type
of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of
social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or
kinship relation, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, club,
neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or
mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF
HUMAN RELATIONS
1) SPEAK
TO PEOPLE- There is nothing as nice a cheerful word of greeting.
2) SMILE
AT PEOPLE-It takes 65 to 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to 15 to smile.
3) CALL
PEOPLE BY NAME-The sweetest music to anyone’s ear is the sound of their own
names.
4) BE
FRIENDLY AND HELPFUL- If you would have friends, be friendly.
5) BE
CORDIAL-Speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure.
6) BE
GENUINELY INTERESTED IN PEOPLE- You can like everybody if you try.
7) BE
GENEROUS WITH PRAISE- Continuous with criticism.
8) BE
CONSIDERATE WITH THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS- It will be appreciated and there are
usually three sides to a controversy; yours, the other persons, and the right
side.
9) BE
ALERT TO GIVE SERVICE- What counts most
in life is what we do for others.
10) ADD TO THIS a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR- A big dose
of patience and a dash of humility and you will be awarded many- fold.
HUMAN RELATIONS INFLUENCES
FAMILY
The family is the smallest unit of
society. It is the microcosm which is enlarged into a national community or
government. The parents are the employees as in a company.
FRIENDS
Good friends are our treasures and
investment. We invest in friendships when we offer and render them our
thoughtfulness, ideas, love, care, and concern. Friends tend to reciprocate the
good things done to them. This process makes friendship among people lasting.
COMMUNITY
The community is the place where we
spend the rest of our waking hours outside the place of work. Good attitude and
enthusiasm are contagious and can contaminate people in the community. Cox
said, ``Enthusiasm reflects confidences, spreads good cheer, raises morale,
inspires associate, arouses loyalty laughs adversity… It is beyond price.
``Enthusiasm therefore can help us eliminate jealousy envy, rivalry, and
intrigues.
The Human Relation Approach: Basic
Principles
The basic principles of the human
relation approach are as follows:
1) Decentralization-
The strict notion of hierarchy employed by classical management theorist is
replaced with the idea that individual workers and functional areas should be
given greater anatomy and decision making power. This requires greater emphasis
on lateral communication so that
coordination of efforts and resources can occur. This communication occurs via informal communication channels rather
than the formal, hierarchical ones.
2) Participatory
Decision-Making—Decision-making is participatory
in the sense that those making decisions in a day-to-day basis include line
workers not normally considered to be ``management”. The greater anatomy
afforded individual employees—and subsequent reduction in ``height” and
increase in span of control of the organizational structures—requires that they
have the knowledge and ability to make their own decisions and the
communication skill to coordinate their efforts with others without a nearby supervisor.
3) Concern
for Developing Self-motivated Employees—The emphasis on a system of decentralized
and autonomous decision- making by the members of the organization requires
that those members be highly
``self-motivated”(that is able to set their own task related goals and
monitor their own performance in achieving them). So one goal of managers in
such an organization is to design and implement organizational structures that
reward such self-motivation and autonomy. Another is to negotiate working
relationship with subordinates that foster effective communication in both
directions.
Seven ways to become interesting
“By
becoming more interesting one can add fun, excitement, and enjoyment to one’s
life,” declared Jull Varness, associate professor or health science and
education at the University of Florida. Here are her suggestions for becoming a
more interesting individual.
·
Volunteer your time to a worthy organization.
·
Try an activity one does not ordinarily do.
Walk barefoot in the rain, explore the nature of Verde Island, etc.
deliberation inhibits us from putting our hunches and then devote as much time
and energy as possible to that pursuit.
·
Pamper a pet. People find animals
fascinating.
·
Try new foods. The exotic taste of new foods
satisfies curiosity.
·
Read magazine. Your conversations will become
more invigorating when you inject fascinating things you’ve been reading about.
·
Smile and laugh. Don’t take yourself too
seriously. Show people that you enjoy life.
·
Get other people to talk about themselves.
Studies have shown that when someone gets another person to talk about a
favorite hobby, the person doing the listening is considered more interesting.
Seven ways that will help you become
smarter person
1)
Brain
exercises. Exercise of the brain is as exercise of the
muscles. The human brain is able to continually adapt and rewire itself, even
at old age, it can grow new neurons. Severe mental decline is usually caused by
diseases, whereas most age-related losses in memory or motor skills simply
result from inactivity and a lack of mental exercise and stimulation. In other
words, use it or lose it. And this is your chance to use it, in this brain
exercise.
2) Good brain foods. The
brain is an organ metabolically active, making it very hungry, and precisely at
this eater. It’s becoming pretty clear in research labs around country that
right food, or the natural neurochemicals that they contain, can enhance mental
capabilities-help you concentrate, tune sensor motor skill, keep you motivated,
magnify memory, speed reaction time, defuse stress, perhaps even prevent brain
aging.
3) Always learn something new.
Make a conscious effort to keep your brain active and functioning at optimum
levels. Learn a new vocabulary word or new piece of information as often you
can. It will keep you sharp and alert.
4) Read quality books.
Many people like to read popular suspense fiction, but generally these books
aren’t mentally stimulating. If you want to improve your thinking and writing
ability you should read book that make you focus. Reading a classic novel can
change your view of the world and will make you think in more precise, elegant
English. Don’t be afraid to look up a word if you don’t know it, and don’t be
afraid of dense passages. Make sure the books are interesting to you. Reading
is very fun and useful.
5) Reduce television watching. The
average American watchers over 4 ½ hours of television every single day. People
love vegetating in front of the television. The problem is watching television
doesn’t use your mental capacity or allow it to recharge. Also, you watch T.V
when you’re too tired to do anything else. When you feel like relaxing, try
reading a book instead… When you’re with your friends or family, leave the tube
off and have a conversation. All of these things use your mind more than
television and allow you to relax.
6) Learn a foreign language.
Learning a second language “boots” brain-power, scientists believe. Researchers
from University College London studied the brains of 105 people- 80 of whom
where bilingual.
7) Meditation is a very powerful tool for
becoming smarter. Deep meditation opens up real intelligence,
intuition, and creativity. Psychological (mind) benefits of meditation:
increased patience, rapid calming of the mind, mood stabilization, improved
learning ability, and memory, strengthening of willpower.
How
to create your own charisma
·
Confidence is vital. Self-confidence radiates
from the individual. It can contaminate others. It is easier from an individual
to convince others when he himself believes in what he is saying.
·
Happy people are far more charismatic than
miserable ones. Emotional security is felt by a person who is loved, has a
supportive family, and has a good grasp of his emotions and feelings.
·
Being assertive enables one to stand on his
own feet. Everyone has the right to express himself and let others know that he
exists as an individual with the right to be heard and to stand up for his
principles.
·
Be interested to others. Have the patience to
get to know others thoroughly. Other people are part of our resources. Almost
fifty percent of our learning comes from our interactions with others.
·
Spontaneity: avoid spending too much time
thinking over what you are to say. Sometimes over deliberation inhibits us from
putting our hunches and intuitions into actions.
·
Make the most of your talents. Decide what
you can do best and enjoy most, and then devote as much time and energy as
possible to that pursuit.
·
Action: Be more of a doer than a mere
onlooker. Identify the causes of your inactivity and make certain they are
reasons rather than excuses.
Work
on these seven key principles, and charisma will bloom.
How
to achieve good human relations
The
following may help as achieve good human relations:
Ø Be a
good listener. Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.
Ø Never
forget to say a kind and encouraging word to about somebody. Praise good work done,
regardless of who did it. If criticism is to be done, criticize helpfully,
never spitefully.
Ø Be
interested in others and be interested in their welfare.
Ø Communicate
cheerfulness. Keep the corners of your mouth turned up.
Ø Talk
about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ø Discourage
gossip and make it a rule to say nothing about another unless it is something
good.
Ø Do
things to make people feel important.
The
“Ostrich Complex”
You can stop being a
head-in-the-sand ostrich and learn to deal with your problems with simple tips
from an expert.
The “Ostrich complex” is a habit of
handling problems by avoiding them or pretending they do not exist, “explains
Dr. Elliot Weiner, a clinical psychologist in Lake Oswego, Oregon.
Weiner, the author of the “The
Ostrich Complex,” says the syndrome shows itself in four diff. ways.
Ø Procrastination-
not facing a problem by putting it off.
Ø Perfectionism-
refusing to take an action if you can’t get everything to come out perfectly.
Ø Denial-
pretending that the problem simply does not exist.
Ø Collecting-
acting as though you’re disregarding little irritants but actually storing them
up for an inevitable explosion.
Here
are techniques Weiner suggest freeing yourself of Ostrich-like behavior:
Ø Treat
your problem objectively, as though they were happening to somebody else.
Ø Advertise
your problem to others and appeal for help if necessary.
Ø If
you’re a perfectionist, try being late for a meeting, or deliberately make a
spelling error in a report. “You’ll prove life is not going to fall apart if
there are mistakes,” Weiner says.
Ø Don’t
try to do everything yourself. Delegate lesser duties and chores so that you
can grapple with the most important issue. Dump secondary problems, or delay
dealing with them for a day or two.
Ø Divide
your goal into manageable stages, and handle them one at a time.
Ø Don’t
simmer unproductively all day long. Set aside a time to get rid of anger
through a wholesome safety valve like exercise.
Ø Write
a letter to express how upset you set--- but don’t send it. Putting your
thoughts down on paper will help you release your trapped feelings and face
your problems squarely.
Ø Relax
and try to imagine the best and the worst possible scenarios to solve your
problem. Then think of the one that is most likely to happen. Weiner says,”
This way you won’t be scared easily into
running away,”
Ø Define
the problem in a memo and attach it to a symbol of the problem itself.” For
example,” Weiner says, “If you don’t want to make a certain phone call, stick
the memo on the telephone.